Wow, today has gone so fast. I did get up late, at 10, but that was because DB got in so late last night and I couldn't sleep until he got home... I thought today was a write-off because I couldn't think this morning. I decided to call it a day and work until DB also decided to knock off and have worked up till now! I think, as well, that I have finished it. Which is quicker than I thought. And I am not likely to go over my target of 10,000 words which is fabulous.
I really think I may have finished it. I haven't though of course because I have to read through it alllll and edit it, and write the conclusion. But so far I don't see why it shan't be finished by 2pm on Monday! Excellent! even if it isn't it will defintely be done on Tuesday night at the latest. Which is fantastic and I am off to have a glass of sangria in my kitchen with the lights on because it is *soooooooo* dark and rainy.
I always feel curiously deflated when I have finished work these days and having thought about it I have realised that it is because I am cynical about whether I have finished it or not. When I did my undergrad (badly and drunkenly) and my MA (diligently) I would finish the work with a flourish and never look back. I can't believe I handed in non-proof-read work! It would have been SUPER if I had, I would have got a massive distinction. Everything is in the checking and the re-checking my friend.
But of course you know that.
So I am off for a shower and to get into my fun times clothes!
WOOOOO!
PS. am not liking the new facebook. When I look at my profile page it feels like it is shouting at me. 'JAYNEY IS... WONDERING WHETHER THIS WILL EVER END'.
harsh.
x J
Friday, 5 September 2008
Nark
I am finding it hard to concentrate today! Today of all days!
It just seems never-ending. Constant tweaking and checking and re-drafting.
Ug.
x J
It just seems never-ending. Constant tweaking and checking and re-drafting.
Ug.
x J
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Tired out!
Ach I am so tired! I am properly getting tired of this work now which means I must be near the end of it. I have that feeling you get at the end of dissertations, or the end of my last chapter, where just getting it done is the main objective, and where you think that if you had known how exhausting it would be when you started it, you never would have.
Which is a good thing. ?!!
I did have to go away for half an hour and ponder my final section and for a while thought maybe I needn't put it in this chapter. Then realised I did, but at least worked out what the point of it was. I forgot for a while there... I hope that with some hard, concentrated work tomorrow I will get it down. I don't think there is anything I don't know, so that means I won't be wasting time re-reading stuff and makig sense of my ideas. But it is all going to be fresh material so may take longer than anticipated. To be honest, I just don't know. It's all part of the uncertainty of doing a PhD I guess.
I am brain-dead, so earlier than expected, I am off for the day. I think I will have a sneaky ciggie in the kitchen and stare out of the window trying to conjure up some meaningful thoughts, then I will give up and maybe have a bath, watch hollyoaks and make some dins! DB is back tonight but not until the wee hours... I was pretty nonchalent about his imminent return but now am soooo pleased that life will soon return to its usual calamity.
Until tomorrow...
x J
Which is a good thing. ?!!
I did have to go away for half an hour and ponder my final section and for a while thought maybe I needn't put it in this chapter. Then realised I did, but at least worked out what the point of it was. I forgot for a while there... I hope that with some hard, concentrated work tomorrow I will get it down. I don't think there is anything I don't know, so that means I won't be wasting time re-reading stuff and makig sense of my ideas. But it is all going to be fresh material so may take longer than anticipated. To be honest, I just don't know. It's all part of the uncertainty of doing a PhD I guess.
I am brain-dead, so earlier than expected, I am off for the day. I think I will have a sneaky ciggie in the kitchen and stare out of the window trying to conjure up some meaningful thoughts, then I will give up and maybe have a bath, watch hollyoaks and make some dins! DB is back tonight but not until the wee hours... I was pretty nonchalent about his imminent return but now am soooo pleased that life will soon return to its usual calamity.
Until tomorrow...
x J
HURRRRRAAAAAAY!
I hve booked my tickets! I am officially now going to TN on the 27 th October for research, until the 7 April. OOOOH! I am sooo excited and happy.
I am also wierdly excited about the tuna steak I have bought to make for dins. I bought some fresh parsley and thyme and am going to make a herby, garlic butter to put over it, with new potatoes, asparagus, mange tout and baby sweetcorn. YUM!
This morning/today has whizzed by. You can tell because I instinctively thought it was still morning, when really it is two pm. I have been reading through the chapter and in one fell swoop it doesn't seem as long and whining-on as I thought. Sometimes you can spend so long on one paragraph, reading through it and stopping every two seconds to ponder and fiddle that the whole thing seems really, really, really loooong and dull and drawn out. But really, read at a normal pace it isn't that bad. Phew!
Am now onto the final bit. Still copying super quotes from my fave authors and will use them to punctuate my short, sharp, insightful arguments.
I hope...
Friday tomorrow! I soooo need a weekend to chill and not think about this stupid work. After a while (days of nothing but...) the arguments start to feel sort of pointless and just, like, who cares this much?! WHO?! And you start to go mad and wonder what any of it is about. And then you sleep and wake up and the world is ok again... for a while...
I can't contemplate ever finishing. How does that happen? I can contemplate the enormousest holiday afterwards though. ENORMOUS. No volunteering. No research. Just being a beach-bound, moonshine-guzzling slob.
x J
I am also wierdly excited about the tuna steak I have bought to make for dins. I bought some fresh parsley and thyme and am going to make a herby, garlic butter to put over it, with new potatoes, asparagus, mange tout and baby sweetcorn. YUM!
This morning/today has whizzed by. You can tell because I instinctively thought it was still morning, when really it is two pm. I have been reading through the chapter and in one fell swoop it doesn't seem as long and whining-on as I thought. Sometimes you can spend so long on one paragraph, reading through it and stopping every two seconds to ponder and fiddle that the whole thing seems really, really, really loooong and dull and drawn out. But really, read at a normal pace it isn't that bad. Phew!
Am now onto the final bit. Still copying super quotes from my fave authors and will use them to punctuate my short, sharp, insightful arguments.
I hope...
Friday tomorrow! I soooo need a weekend to chill and not think about this stupid work. After a while (days of nothing but...) the arguments start to feel sort of pointless and just, like, who cares this much?! WHO?! And you start to go mad and wonder what any of it is about. And then you sleep and wake up and the world is ok again... for a while...
I can't contemplate ever finishing. How does that happen? I can contemplate the enormousest holiday afterwards though. ENORMOUS. No volunteering. No research. Just being a beach-bound, moonshine-guzzling slob.
x J
Thursday 4 September, 2008
September! Eek. Nearly time for uni to start again. I am always quite relieved to be going back, or at least to know it is there and can go in and feel like this all has a point! During the summer I can feel quite alone in my work without the Big Machine that is Uni humming along in the background.
Today I am snoozy! I didn't get to sleep until 3am. For some reason I was worried about work although on waking this morning I realised I was being rather dramatic and all is ok really. I think I am anxious because DB said he was coming home today which means my silence and concentration will be compromised... I am getting used to it! I am almost tempted to ask him to come home tomorrow you know, just so I can get this chapter done before I am corrupted.
I realised that I had better read through all the work I have done so far and see how it flows. I am *dreading* this. I hate long read-throughs as am so forgetful that I am convinced it is rubbish before I start and during. I dread the thought of spending another whole day editing, editing, editing and being pernickity when I really want to just finish! Alternatively I could read it through and be pleased with it and it could give me that bit more confidence upon finishing. Bah, I don't think so!
I am waiting for the postman to come at half 12 and then off to put my flight money cheque in t'bank and then, then will come home and buy my tix! Woooo! That will be fabulous. I hve decided to go for a 5 mile run later too to test my 'injury'. I reckon if I can't run five miles without being in pain then there is no point trying to run 13 on Sunday, or not running the five miles and 'resting'. Resting rubbish - it just won't go away. I am stubborn about doing it because this is the third 1/2 marathon I have entered and not run and feel embarrassed and full of sh*t. And secondly, I keep paying to enter and not entering. For myself though I have to remember a) I don;t wan to get a hernia or something and b) the point of entering was to get me better at running and to conquer a new form of exercise - which I have done. I can now comfortably run 5 miles in an hour which is very good exercise. If I ran once, swam once and went to the gym once a week I would be in pretty good shape. So I should be grateful for that - running it wasn't the aim, it was the exercise. So job done!
Ooooh, there is a circus *and* a fair in town! I have never been to the circus so am going to make DB take me. And I love fairs - although not the scallies that come with it and make one feel really old in that kind of invisible, not worth acknowledging kind of way.
Better get on with the proof reading then. *snore* Please, PLEASE don't let this take all day. Pleeeease.
Bye!
x J
Today I am snoozy! I didn't get to sleep until 3am. For some reason I was worried about work although on waking this morning I realised I was being rather dramatic and all is ok really. I think I am anxious because DB said he was coming home today which means my silence and concentration will be compromised... I am getting used to it! I am almost tempted to ask him to come home tomorrow you know, just so I can get this chapter done before I am corrupted.
I realised that I had better read through all the work I have done so far and see how it flows. I am *dreading* this. I hate long read-throughs as am so forgetful that I am convinced it is rubbish before I start and during. I dread the thought of spending another whole day editing, editing, editing and being pernickity when I really want to just finish! Alternatively I could read it through and be pleased with it and it could give me that bit more confidence upon finishing. Bah, I don't think so!
I am waiting for the postman to come at half 12 and then off to put my flight money cheque in t'bank and then, then will come home and buy my tix! Woooo! That will be fabulous. I hve decided to go for a 5 mile run later too to test my 'injury'. I reckon if I can't run five miles without being in pain then there is no point trying to run 13 on Sunday, or not running the five miles and 'resting'. Resting rubbish - it just won't go away. I am stubborn about doing it because this is the third 1/2 marathon I have entered and not run and feel embarrassed and full of sh*t. And secondly, I keep paying to enter and not entering. For myself though I have to remember a) I don;t wan to get a hernia or something and b) the point of entering was to get me better at running and to conquer a new form of exercise - which I have done. I can now comfortably run 5 miles in an hour which is very good exercise. If I ran once, swam once and went to the gym once a week I would be in pretty good shape. So I should be grateful for that - running it wasn't the aim, it was the exercise. So job done!
Ooooh, there is a circus *and* a fair in town! I have never been to the circus so am going to make DB take me. And I love fairs - although not the scallies that come with it and make one feel really old in that kind of invisible, not worth acknowledging kind of way.
Better get on with the proof reading then. *snore* Please, PLEASE don't let this take all day. Pleeeease.
Bye!
x J
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Today!
Today has been a good day! Again!
*I am currently in my kitchen at my table, reading through academic articles to help critique in this final section. I am writing good quotes straight onto the essay then will work around them i think.
*I have found out that Boots will do us a japanese encephalitus and Rabies jab for £160 each! bargain. Some nurses said we could end up paying £300! I wasn't going to have them done but will now it is affordable. This is pleasing and another logistical issue sorted...
*I am going to buy my flights tomorrow! This is for definite. I am sooooooo excited.
*I have found out that you can foster dogs! This is brilliant and I will get onto that when we come back from TN. I want a dog sooo much but have travelled too much to get one. Then I was thinking of getting a rescue one after TN as I want to settle down really but this will be an ace compromise and I can look after doggies who would otherwise be lonely/put down/drowned in a well. Most pleasing. And they pay for their feed and give you all the gubbins you need to look after them! Fab. I can't wait, I have always had a dog at home and missed having one terribly since I moved out of home (all those years ago). I have made up for it by getting hamsters and fish but, well, they die. And don't bark. Or give cuddles. Or have quizzical looks. Ahhhhh.
Oh dear. I just remembered that my future renting agents probably won't allow me a dog. Oh dear. I hope I can afford to buy somewhere after TN! I want to have my own house and my own rules.
What else... Hmmm... Ah yes, the facist bank is ringing me to tell me how much they have looked into my complaint about seemingly not knowing anything about my account, like, EVER. Funnily enough they haven't called. Lazy facists.
Better get back to the reading. I will probably work until half six then stop. Today has zooomed past!
I am pretty anxious that this section is going to be larger than I anticipated and will take more time. Eek. Why does it all have to be so darned complicated?!!! I think I am just going to buy it off of the internet and lounge around eating crisps and shouting at the tele while fostering dogs.
x J
*I am currently in my kitchen at my table, reading through academic articles to help critique in this final section. I am writing good quotes straight onto the essay then will work around them i think.
*I have found out that Boots will do us a japanese encephalitus and Rabies jab for £160 each! bargain. Some nurses said we could end up paying £300! I wasn't going to have them done but will now it is affordable. This is pleasing and another logistical issue sorted...
*I am going to buy my flights tomorrow! This is for definite. I am sooooooo excited.
*I have found out that you can foster dogs! This is brilliant and I will get onto that when we come back from TN. I want a dog sooo much but have travelled too much to get one. Then I was thinking of getting a rescue one after TN as I want to settle down really but this will be an ace compromise and I can look after doggies who would otherwise be lonely/put down/drowned in a well. Most pleasing. And they pay for their feed and give you all the gubbins you need to look after them! Fab. I can't wait, I have always had a dog at home and missed having one terribly since I moved out of home (all those years ago). I have made up for it by getting hamsters and fish but, well, they die. And don't bark. Or give cuddles. Or have quizzical looks. Ahhhhh.
Oh dear. I just remembered that my future renting agents probably won't allow me a dog. Oh dear. I hope I can afford to buy somewhere after TN! I want to have my own house and my own rules.
What else... Hmmm... Ah yes, the facist bank is ringing me to tell me how much they have looked into my complaint about seemingly not knowing anything about my account, like, EVER. Funnily enough they haven't called. Lazy facists.
Better get back to the reading. I will probably work until half six then stop. Today has zooomed past!
I am pretty anxious that this section is going to be larger than I anticipated and will take more time. Eek. Why does it all have to be so darned complicated?!!! I think I am just going to buy it off of the internet and lounge around eating crisps and shouting at the tele while fostering dogs.
x J
The weather
Now, the weather in Britian is always something to talk about, usually because it was very sunny a second ago and by the time you went into to change into shorts and get some sun cream it started raining.
However, the weather that is going on at the moment is BIZARRE and I wonder if I am looking at the future outside my office window. Last year was a total washout with barely any sun. This is unusual but, you know, whatever. It was a bad year. This year though has been sooooo strange. There was no sunny May. May is always sunny and hot - I know this because I am usually revising for exams in May, and come June when I am free it is all grey. Then August is good with at least a few yummy hot days and Sept can be quite hot too at the beginning. There was no sunny June. There were two days of blazing hot sun in July, which I spent in traffic jams on the M5... And August there was rain.
I am noticing a bizarre pattern to the weather though. Up north it tends to start out sunny with some blue sky. Then I get excited and put washing on to dry outside later. Then it gets grey and windy. Then every afternoon pretty much there is an amazing downpour, which in it ubiquity is becoming more and more unremarkable. I used to run to the window to marvel at such a downpour, but now I just get freaked out because it happens every afternoon. And then it clears and will probably stay grey for the rest of the day.
It is WEIRD. Like monsoon or something.
I don't like it. Where's the sun?!
Work is going well though.
x J
However, the weather that is going on at the moment is BIZARRE and I wonder if I am looking at the future outside my office window. Last year was a total washout with barely any sun. This is unusual but, you know, whatever. It was a bad year. This year though has been sooooo strange. There was no sunny May. May is always sunny and hot - I know this because I am usually revising for exams in May, and come June when I am free it is all grey. Then August is good with at least a few yummy hot days and Sept can be quite hot too at the beginning. There was no sunny June. There were two days of blazing hot sun in July, which I spent in traffic jams on the M5... And August there was rain.
I am noticing a bizarre pattern to the weather though. Up north it tends to start out sunny with some blue sky. Then I get excited and put washing on to dry outside later. Then it gets grey and windy. Then every afternoon pretty much there is an amazing downpour, which in it ubiquity is becoming more and more unremarkable. I used to run to the window to marvel at such a downpour, but now I just get freaked out because it happens every afternoon. And then it clears and will probably stay grey for the rest of the day.
It is WEIRD. Like monsoon or something.
I don't like it. Where's the sun?!
Work is going well though.
x J
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