Wow and hurrah and Woot!

Today, for the first time in donkeys-yonks (what is a donkey's yonk?) I feel like a PhD student again. I really do!!

Last night I was reading through some rubbish on my comp, a bit hyper and unable to sleep and then opened what I thought was an old MA essay that I fancied having a superior chortle at (or gaining inspiration from, either way would please me). Well, it turned out to be my sup's MA module outline and it had on it the two most wondeful paragraphs I have read in many a moon - they so neatly summated my work and intentions and also brought me round full circle to my original intention in doing this research. Lights sparked and I felt happy and enthusiastic in a way I haven't for so long! I have even been considering leaving my field after this PhD because I just feel so flat about it - but now the exciting point of it all has come back to me and I feel much, much better. And then I read an article that I have read before but it made so much more sense, and for a while I felt almost clever and like a real PhD student.

So for the moment - and I do not say that in a self-deprecating way, it is always 'for the moment' in PhD-land - I feel ok and actually positive. Whoop-ha!

Today I am in the last day of my illness (yes, Goa gave me tourist disease which I think I am coming out of today after many, many hours of sleep and some peace - something India is not really that au fait with giving) and tomorrow we head south to recce site number two.

I heard from my Sup today as well. It was another lovely email, he said that he couldn't really advise me about what to do with my work as he doesn't know the scene (arg, how I long for the days when I was firmly held on some reins! 'Yes J! Do that! No J. Don't do that...') but did assure me that most PhDs need to go back to their field site as the first visit usually raises more issues than it solves. Bless him for that - that is the most lovely peice of wisdom and I am very grateful for it because that is exactly what has been happening to me. Every day I end up with only questions and riddles - but no blinkin' answers, and what am I here for if not to get answers?

Ug! DB has just come in and told me that we can't get train tickets for our recce tomorrow!! Arg this means we should probably book waaaaay longer in advance that we have. Hmmm, should I go straight to site one then? I shall have to ponder. Although today is Pongal (harvest festival and the first day of the offical Tamil New Year) - one of the biggest festivals and everything is shut down, maybe tomorrow will provide us with some answers when people are actually at work...

I have a packet of crisps and, most wonderfully, a bar of choccy courtesy of DB. And the necessary evil that is a can of coke (to kill tummy germs apparently). I know one shouldn't eat fat and sugar when ill but it's all I ever fancy and seems to do me good.

Oh research, research, when will you be my friend?!!! Time is going too fast, I cannot dither!

x J