Tiredness and Ineptitude

Ooooooh Ok. I am a new mama. Well, my baby is not so little (oh yes he is!) but I am still new at this.. am I?!

And I am TIRED! So tired! My family have been sooooooooooo ill with this very nasty not-quite-flu cold thing that is doing the rounds and that lasts for about two weeks. Rattling chests, phlegmy coughs, oozing faces, temperatures and grumbling. So much grumbling. And three of us in a bedroom, so it was inevitable that I would get it in the end. Not for long though, I have only been ill for a few days and am getting better already, but I am tired. And being tired is sooooo bad for work. I had a party to organise for Saturday night and I worked alllll day on it, just cleaning the house (I know, I am that mucky it seems) and making bits and bobs. Because the guests are parents that *never* get out a) it was an honour they were using special babysitter/going out favours and passes just to come to my house and b) I wanted to make it worth their while. So I made some bits but it took all day. And we had to decorate the house as it was a Christmas party! But the house is spanking clean now for the rellies when they come on Thurs and Fri so that's a job done. Anyway, it means I didn't work on Saturday (oh, and I was sooooo ill on Saturday, I was walking round Asda like a right manky wench I was actually embarrassed). I didn't work Friday because DB really needed the day to work (I know. Yes I was livid but I just can't help but feel his work is more important than mine) and I didn't work yesterday because I was ill and so tired I could hardly think. I actually, for the first time *ever* told DB to sleep in the spare room last night so we could all get some sleep (he is practising full body snoring with this illness, it is keeping me up. I am keeping me up with the tickliest throat and cough known to man, and Bean is keeping me up feeding and kicking me. If DB is out of the bed then at least I can move away from the kicking child and not be woken by the snoring so hopefully sleep through my tickly cough). I may do it again tonight, we are all actually much better today for some sleep!

So, apart from complaining is there any point to this post?

Ah yes! I need to complain about the consequence of all this: my missed deadline :0( Oh what shall I do? I was meant to have this chapter finished at the beginning of this month and it now looks like it won't be finished - what with xmas etc - until mid Jan! Let me look at my original timeline... Right it actually says that I will have this chapter done by the beginning of Jan, which gives me some time. Cool! BUT the timeline also thinks I am writing the lit review and discussion chapter in Feb (two chapters in one month? WTF?!) *and* I thought I had written the methodology chapter when in fact it is have written. Oh dear. I *have* to have this finished in June. I will NOT have this hanging over my head into 2012. I will not! I have a life! A marriage that is suffering under the strain of this course. I need to go and get a job, pay some taxes, be normal.

Though I am still chuffed that I seem to be on track still. My Sup shouldn't be worried about me then. I can't help but feel though, that rather than having a Sup that is sooooo veeeery far away that I could do with someone cracking the whip over me a bit for this final stage. Give me some deadlines and Fear so I can say to DB that I need to work because someone else is making me which holds more weight than saying I have to work because, well, I fancy it. Motivation is there, concentration is not.

RIght so I have until the beginning of Jan. That means I have today (well, till 1 though I may ask DB if I can have till 2), next week, and then am away to visit relatives for christmas. I might renege on this though, I don't want to go! That would give me another week. Do I need another week? Prob not if I work properly to be honest...

Am so relieved I am not behind. I am not behind! Yay!

Ok will get on...

x J

x J