Thursday, 8 September 2011

Brain ache

Oof my brain actually hurts.  I can't really think any more but I have to!

I have been working as much as I can - yesterday I picked bean up and did reading while he watched tele (he wasn't impressed and actually nor was I but it had to be done!) and when he went to bed I worked in front of the tv.  was ok work, just reading my fieldwork diaries and interviews and noting all the themes - trying desperately to find something original...  Which is why I have brainache.

Today I have been reading al the clippings I got from indian newspapers while I was away, sorting my notes, reading interviews and am now trying to work out my unique focus.  On such a heavily documented and evaluated aid-effort it is pretty hard to find anything new, a lot of my fieldwork just re-iterates what has already been said :0(  Saying that though I think I might have found a focus but am not sure.  I will have to think about it and try and see if I can plan a chapter out of it...  this is what I shall do this afternoon.  Hopefully I shan't zip off an hour early to pick bean up like i did yesterday!  I turned up at the childminders to pick him up and it was only when she said she was off to get her kiddies from school that I twigged I might be an hour early!  i was so embarrassed!  I picked him up at 3 instead of 4, what a twonk.  Obviously working is taking up too much brain space and normal daily life is been severely compromised.  Today I feel more on the ball but got home from picking him up to realise that I had been walking around with only one earring in.  oh dear.

Better get on with the work then.  Am really very tired.  Working is keeping my brain super active and I can't sleep, then as I relax bean wakes bla bla bla.

x J

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