I disappeared!

Hehe, I disappeared! I have been working, but not with my laptop and have been avoiding the internet at night as it stresses me out! Hence no post.

BUT work is going ok! Well, it didn't go at all for a few days - more like a week - as DB had a huge contract deadline so I had to look after Bean. But I did do bits and bobs (which was about all I could do in my first week back after ten months off!) and was back on Tuesday. Met my Sup too and my new deadline for Sept next year is perfect according to him and he says I am well on the way to completion. What a relief!! I so thought he was going to put the frighteners on me because I have a baby and might be a bit preoccupied with him to work (true). I think - shallow tho it may seem - that the fact that I had just had my hair cut and that I am not massively fat or knackered looking and was wearing fashionable clothes (yes it is possible ladies out there) might have helped me quite a bit as he seemed a bit surprised and pleased that I was looking so well and, sadly I suppose for more knackered mums, 'with it'. We talked about writing up and he said about how if I have writer's block to remember that
a) Writing a PhD is very hard and part of what getting a PhD is all about and
b) I should only try and do three sentences when I am stuck. Just three, in a whole day and not ask too much of myself or beat myself up.
This was lovely advice and has made me feel so much better about it all. He also said that examiners will read the introduction very closely, so get that right, and also the conclusion and references. The rest they will skim read! They will generally read the introductions for each chapter too, but won't quibble over details too much - they are looking for a thesis and what backs up that thesis, a process of thought and of development. This was great to hear! Makes it all seem so much less daunting.

Then we talked about the VIVA and he said that at a uni in Oz they don't even have a VIVA - just hand in and walk away. This made me realise how important I think the VIVA is, even though I am very scared of it it is also a very important part of the process - it is where I get to explain and defend my thesis. I look forward to talking about it and hope I am aware enough of what I have said and why to be able to defend it :0) Blinkin' better be anyway.

So all in all a great chat, and am feeling all confident and pleased. As I always do after a meet with my Sup - I am very lucky I don't have one of those supervisors who gets off on making your PhD life difficult. My friend has one of those and she is always stressed and unhappy, whereas I have not yet been unhappy in mine. Very lucky indeedy!

Right, I better get back to work! Is Friday, I cannot believe it. At the mo I am working on catching up on my literature review and collating the info from my fieldwork. It is quite sad and made me cry yesterday, the work I do is sad sometimes. I have all this information and should use it to chase people up who have let very vulnerable people down and made them and their families even more vulnerable. But, I am a researcher. Maybe when the work is finished. At least the fieldwork did good while I was doing it even if the info is a bit impotent in my hands at the moment...

Am going to exercise tomorrow morning, then am working, and then I am going to drink beer and listen to bands at my village festival. Lovely! Oh, and my baby is crawling so will spend the weeked probably forgetting about that and leaving him on the floor to scoot off and find mischief when my back is turned ;0) I made him a beanie hat yesterday - has taken about 3 weeks of crocheting and unravelling, one beanie actually turned into a sun hat. A woolly sun hat! WTF?!

x J