Oh dear. I just had a mahousive hissy fit at DB about work.
I normally work for a couple of hours on saturday and half a day on sunday but he came home last night and said he has to work on sunday... so he said i could work today instead. not ideal, because it means i won't have *any* downtime this week; I will either be working or looking after bean and have no weekend jolly time to pep oneself up. We don't have much as it is. I didn't say anything though and went with the fact i will work today. THEN he says this morning he has to get a haircut so I say ok after 5. He says late afternoon, I sort of don't say anything then it turns out to be at 3.15! So I don't get today to work, I get this morning. A few hours. So I had a hissy fit about how he doesn't get that I need time to work, that the childminder might cancel any time, that he comes home late on my worknights (last monday) and takes my weekend day and I don't say anything but that this is a joke. Anyway, long story short I am working till 3 today and he has said I can work a couple of hours tomorrow. To be honest it stinks but I can't ruin the weekend any more so i apologised. I really feel that I should have a lot more time than I do, but he thinks I should work at night more. he is a workaholic so doesn't get that normal people need some downtime to cope. And that i too work 13 hours days with my work and bean, and i am on call with bean every night but apparently that doesn't count as anything remotely stressful. Bah, typical parent argument that one.
ANYWAY I am working now, tho I couldn't be less in the mood to concentrate or care. I feel really low and think that I might be blowing things out of proportion because I feel I have no control over my work time. Am I being too precious? I can't cope with the childminder cancelling, and DB saying when I can and can't work; I *need* to know that the hours I have are routine and respected as being mine. I do know that I am being unflexible, but I can't help but feel that DB's idea of 'flexible' is work when I tell you you can work. And if I complain he brings up the old 'you don't care about my work either, do you think I want to work every day as much as I do' which makes me feel shit because I am not earning. So there we go, that is my life! Although it isn't, it is just a small part of it that we have managed to manage for quite some time now. We used to have blazing rows along these lines almost weekly but are much better now.
I feel down. I hate work, I don't want to do anything but eat biscuits and read the paper. but if I do I would feel guilty, like every moment I am not with bean I should work so DB doesn't think I am slack. GAH!
x J
I normally work for a couple of hours on saturday and half a day on sunday but he came home last night and said he has to work on sunday... so he said i could work today instead. not ideal, because it means i won't have *any* downtime this week; I will either be working or looking after bean and have no weekend jolly time to pep oneself up. We don't have much as it is. I didn't say anything though and went with the fact i will work today. THEN he says this morning he has to get a haircut so I say ok after 5. He says late afternoon, I sort of don't say anything then it turns out to be at 3.15! So I don't get today to work, I get this morning. A few hours. So I had a hissy fit about how he doesn't get that I need time to work, that the childminder might cancel any time, that he comes home late on my worknights (last monday) and takes my weekend day and I don't say anything but that this is a joke. Anyway, long story short I am working till 3 today and he has said I can work a couple of hours tomorrow. To be honest it stinks but I can't ruin the weekend any more so i apologised. I really feel that I should have a lot more time than I do, but he thinks I should work at night more. he is a workaholic so doesn't get that normal people need some downtime to cope. And that i too work 13 hours days with my work and bean, and i am on call with bean every night but apparently that doesn't count as anything remotely stressful. Bah, typical parent argument that one.
ANYWAY I am working now, tho I couldn't be less in the mood to concentrate or care. I feel really low and think that I might be blowing things out of proportion because I feel I have no control over my work time. Am I being too precious? I can't cope with the childminder cancelling, and DB saying when I can and can't work; I *need* to know that the hours I have are routine and respected as being mine. I do know that I am being unflexible, but I can't help but feel that DB's idea of 'flexible' is work when I tell you you can work. And if I complain he brings up the old 'you don't care about my work either, do you think I want to work every day as much as I do' which makes me feel shit because I am not earning. So there we go, that is my life! Although it isn't, it is just a small part of it that we have managed to manage for quite some time now. We used to have blazing rows along these lines almost weekly but are much better now.
I feel down. I hate work, I don't want to do anything but eat biscuits and read the paper. but if I do I would feel guilty, like every moment I am not with bean I should work so DB doesn't think I am slack. GAH!
x J
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