Ok. Work is a big mess!
I have been having a 'life laundry' day, facing all the stuff I have been happily keeping hidden. I have made an appt for the docs and cleaned my study. All my notes were all over the place from editing which I thought was ok, but am feeling better now they are re-filed (in piles on my desk!). I have vacuumed and it is all nice. So I thought after lunch I will come and work but for some reason I am finding it difficult to focus.
Why can't I focus?
* Because I feel really behind and don't think I can meet my deadline, but I have to.
* Which means I have to work *really* hard, a *lot* and I don't want to. I am scared! I am so tired and fidgety!
* I don't know what to do first. I have to do references, re-draft two other chapters, read for the discussion and lit review chapters and write a discussion chapter this month.
I think I feel like it is 'all or nothing' now. I have to either work constantly, feverishly, to the exclusion of all else, or not at all. That just a bit of work for a few hours will be nowhere near enough. But because that is all I can offer at the moment (I can't do a week of fevered work in a day ;0)) it all seems hopeless. My plans are becoming more squished, my timelines more challenging and the feeling of completing the work is, er, nonexistent.
I need a cheerleader! I need to rouse myself :0)
1) I have moved the deadline to a scary 27 April to buy me a few more days. This will give me precisely ONE month to edit before my submission on the 31 May. But if I work well on this side of the deadline it should be ok.
2) Bean will be going an extra day a week to the childminder (aw poor thing) in April which will be worth its weight in gold. DB will also be taking bean to the South I think for a weekend so I can work (ug and we know what happened last time!) Also, DB will be taking Bean to swimming lessons from this saturday which will leave me a clear two hours to work that is definite every week. This all adds time.
3) I have to start somewhere!
4) It is only for 11 weeks. Then it shall be written, edited and referenced. Don't fret pet.
5) Go through articles on Kindle and remind self of where am at. Find old reading lists and remind self of where I am at. What about editing? Should I edit now as it is niggling me? Nooooo *Leave editing for later date*. Attack when am on a roll work-wise, or it can just be procrastination and hiding away from writing new stuff. Better to have new stuff written and old stuff to tinker with late into the night than the pressure of having only half of it written - even if that half is really, really good ;0)
6) Set small goals! So, discussion draft needs to be done for Sunday 12 March. Try to get it finished for Friday the 10 march then get DRUNK with Mr J. Email it to Sup on Sunday and plan something nice to do. take weekend off, go away do something :0)
DO NOT THINK ABOUT APRIL DEADLINE OR OTHER CHAPTERS WHEN TRYING TO DO THIS ONE. One thing at a time. Right here, right now, you are doing the discussion chapter. Not reviewing anything, not rewriting anything, not planning anything. Just focus on reading for the discussion.
OKAY! I think I have sorted my problem. Date I am aiming for: 12 March. Work I want done: disc ch written. No more, no less. Am focused.
x J
I have been having a 'life laundry' day, facing all the stuff I have been happily keeping hidden. I have made an appt for the docs and cleaned my study. All my notes were all over the place from editing which I thought was ok, but am feeling better now they are re-filed (in piles on my desk!). I have vacuumed and it is all nice. So I thought after lunch I will come and work but for some reason I am finding it difficult to focus.
Why can't I focus?
* Because I feel really behind and don't think I can meet my deadline, but I have to.
* Which means I have to work *really* hard, a *lot* and I don't want to. I am scared! I am so tired and fidgety!
* I don't know what to do first. I have to do references, re-draft two other chapters, read for the discussion and lit review chapters and write a discussion chapter this month.
I think I feel like it is 'all or nothing' now. I have to either work constantly, feverishly, to the exclusion of all else, or not at all. That just a bit of work for a few hours will be nowhere near enough. But because that is all I can offer at the moment (I can't do a week of fevered work in a day ;0)) it all seems hopeless. My plans are becoming more squished, my timelines more challenging and the feeling of completing the work is, er, nonexistent.
I need a cheerleader! I need to rouse myself :0)
1) I have moved the deadline to a scary 27 April to buy me a few more days. This will give me precisely ONE month to edit before my submission on the 31 May. But if I work well on this side of the deadline it should be ok.
2) Bean will be going an extra day a week to the childminder (aw poor thing) in April which will be worth its weight in gold. DB will also be taking bean to the South I think for a weekend so I can work (ug and we know what happened last time!) Also, DB will be taking Bean to swimming lessons from this saturday which will leave me a clear two hours to work that is definite every week. This all adds time.
3) I have to start somewhere!
4) It is only for 11 weeks. Then it shall be written, edited and referenced. Don't fret pet.
5) Go through articles on Kindle and remind self of where am at. Find old reading lists and remind self of where I am at. What about editing? Should I edit now as it is niggling me? Nooooo *Leave editing for later date*. Attack when am on a roll work-wise, or it can just be procrastination and hiding away from writing new stuff. Better to have new stuff written and old stuff to tinker with late into the night than the pressure of having only half of it written - even if that half is really, really good ;0)
6) Set small goals! So, discussion draft needs to be done for Sunday 12 March. Try to get it finished for Friday the 10 march then get DRUNK with Mr J. Email it to Sup on Sunday and plan something nice to do. take weekend off, go away do something :0)
DO NOT THINK ABOUT APRIL DEADLINE OR OTHER CHAPTERS WHEN TRYING TO DO THIS ONE. One thing at a time. Right here, right now, you are doing the discussion chapter. Not reviewing anything, not rewriting anything, not planning anything. Just focus on reading for the discussion.
OKAY! I think I have sorted my problem. Date I am aiming for: 12 March. Work I want done: disc ch written. No more, no less. Am focused.
x J
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