Thursday, 9 February 2012

Ohhhhh

I have to confess, today has been a shocker.

I have been feeling very overwhelmed today and quite tearful about the whole thing.  I have managed to do half of the work I set for myself, which, really, is something.  I will finish the rest tonight. 

I have to go and get Bean in a minute.  I feel so sorry for him, my head is completely elsewhere and my nerves are jingly jangly.  I am the antithesis of fun.  Poor mite.  Today is a day where I need to be left completely alone, where i can work-fret-work-fret, eat some rubbish then go to bed and hope tomorrow is a brighter one ;0)  Sometimes this work just is a nightmare.

I really have left no time for finishing and am feeling totally hopeless.  Well, not totally - I have no room for totally, I have to get on with it.

On a good note my sup emailed today to see if he can see me on the 20 feb, which is great because I really need some help.  I really need him to properly see where I am at and then get me an extension or tell me all will be well.  it gives me a mini-deadline to work towards as well because I only ever want to impress him. 

I have decided to work nights on alternate weeks.  So I will work tonight, sat/sun/mon/tues/weds and then have a week off nights if I can.  I won't work friday nights, I need them to have a drink, wind down and spraff to my husband.  To have a life in other words!  I really need to push on with this reading then I shall stop panicking.  I know that you should stop reading when you are reading around the topic - but when is this?!  I need to read everything just in case ;0) 

I am going to get my son, get him to help me make dinner (he pretends to chop stuff and adds herbs and things while I actually do chop stuff!) and this will probably be relaxing and fun.  Then when he is asleep around 8.30 I will get into bed and work until I have read another two of my articles.  If I am lucky they will be ones I only need the intro and concl of so I can namedrop and will only take me half an hour.  Though, it being my 'night' I think I will just push on through until 10.30 and then go to bed.  The more I get done the better!

x J

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Stay calm and carry on" as they said during the war! You are putting me off doing one of these phd things with these tales of anguish. I am rooting for you out here in cyberspace; good luck!

Numpty said...

Anguish indeed it is! I shall stay calm... :0) This stage of the PhD is definitely one of those things No One Ever Tells You About - for a good reason! Read no more!

Although I would say that this is *me* doing a PhD and probably no one else in the world is as dramatic and stressy as I :0)

All the best and thanks for your encouragement!

x J