but only with a whole load of self-bribery!
I am completely stressed about having to finish this chapter for Sunday at the extreme very latest and most unhappy as I have only today and then evenings after bean is in bed to meet that deadline. I absoltely have to meet it and thinking about it makes me very tired! However, despite this knowledge and stress I am finding it hard to focus so today have been practising my '10 mins on, 5 mins off' rule, which generally turns into 15 mins on and then hopefully later should be mostly on and hardly ever off and I shall be back into it.
I haven't worked well for a while and am back into bad habits and keep 'wandering off', either thinking about other stuff or literally struggling not to leap up and go off somewhere else to do something completely unnecessary.
I have written 500 words in an hour and a half though :0) I have a long way to go but as long as I keep thinking to myself that this is now simply an exercise in communication I can relax and just type. I also keep thinking about how my sup said that I literally just need words on paper - I need to get ALL new material down asap then I can edit it. I can't wait for that. That it doesn't need to be polished helps me write.
I had a lovely b'day yesterday at the seaside and nearly relaxed though truthfully I had a knot in my stomach of dread and worry about it all. Was lovely not to be at home though.
I am off to get some lunch or a drink now, just get away from the laptop as I have been here a while!
x J
I am completely stressed about having to finish this chapter for Sunday at the extreme very latest and most unhappy as I have only today and then evenings after bean is in bed to meet that deadline. I absoltely have to meet it and thinking about it makes me very tired! However, despite this knowledge and stress I am finding it hard to focus so today have been practising my '10 mins on, 5 mins off' rule, which generally turns into 15 mins on and then hopefully later should be mostly on and hardly ever off and I shall be back into it.
I haven't worked well for a while and am back into bad habits and keep 'wandering off', either thinking about other stuff or literally struggling not to leap up and go off somewhere else to do something completely unnecessary.
I have written 500 words in an hour and a half though :0) I have a long way to go but as long as I keep thinking to myself that this is now simply an exercise in communication I can relax and just type. I also keep thinking about how my sup said that I literally just need words on paper - I need to get ALL new material down asap then I can edit it. I can't wait for that. That it doesn't need to be polished helps me write.
I had a lovely b'day yesterday at the seaside and nearly relaxed though truthfully I had a knot in my stomach of dread and worry about it all. Was lovely not to be at home though.
I am off to get some lunch or a drink now, just get away from the laptop as I have been here a while!
x J
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