I have my confirmation that I am suspended from Uni until the end of August.
Finally!
Soooo... I think this means that I should be handing in in the middle of Oct. I have reached the date 12 Oct but could be anything, am all confused. Very worried until I find out what actual date I have to work until.
I went to counselling this morning to sort out my Shit. All very grown up and it was fecking hideous. I do not want to talk about it with a stranger. But I have to to sort it all out and be normal and functioning. Ug. It has thrown me a bit off actually, and now I have to work and all of a sudden my work feels really pointless and trite. I just want to watch tv or have a bath and just sort of zone out. This isn't good, seeing as counselling is supposed to help me work, so I stop fretting about other stuff/letting other stresses leak into my brain and stop me working! I have to do it though as i have stopped sleeping again in the past few days and nearly had a panic attack after dropping bean off this morning. Why, I do not know. But I don't want to go back! Ever! Oh dear.
So, what to do now.
I know. I am going to do my exercise dvd and work out my horrible feelings :) Then I shall have a shower and get a sandwich and come and work. I'll only have an hour and a half :(
Work shall be 10 mins on, 10 mins off and I shall just have to do that, gently gently, for today. At least it is *something*. Today's goal is just to put the counselling mardiness behind me; open the chapter; re-familiarise myself with the content. I don't want to leave today still being unsure about what is in it and being a bit frightened of it. I want to know what I want to say, why I want to say it and know what my next move is. Am sad this is all I have time for today, but sometimes this is what happens I guess.
Brilliantly, however, the childminder has offered to have Bean on Monday as she was ill last Thurs. So I won't lose any of that time as I didn't manage to work over the weekend. We have been invited to the South for a family do in Aug which I considered going to, despite PhD, and was told by the party-haver that I really don't need to go but should work instead. So I think I will work and send DB and Beean off and have a long weekend to myself to Get Shit Done. He doesn't want to go either though!
And so I am suspended! No library no nuttin'. eek. I can't wait to get the PhD done and not be in this crappy hole any more.
x J
Finally!
Soooo... I think this means that I should be handing in in the middle of Oct. I have reached the date 12 Oct but could be anything, am all confused. Very worried until I find out what actual date I have to work until.
I went to counselling this morning to sort out my Shit. All very grown up and it was fecking hideous. I do not want to talk about it with a stranger. But I have to to sort it all out and be normal and functioning. Ug. It has thrown me a bit off actually, and now I have to work and all of a sudden my work feels really pointless and trite. I just want to watch tv or have a bath and just sort of zone out. This isn't good, seeing as counselling is supposed to help me work, so I stop fretting about other stuff/letting other stresses leak into my brain and stop me working! I have to do it though as i have stopped sleeping again in the past few days and nearly had a panic attack after dropping bean off this morning. Why, I do not know. But I don't want to go back! Ever! Oh dear.
So, what to do now.
I know. I am going to do my exercise dvd and work out my horrible feelings :) Then I shall have a shower and get a sandwich and come and work. I'll only have an hour and a half :(
Work shall be 10 mins on, 10 mins off and I shall just have to do that, gently gently, for today. At least it is *something*. Today's goal is just to put the counselling mardiness behind me; open the chapter; re-familiarise myself with the content. I don't want to leave today still being unsure about what is in it and being a bit frightened of it. I want to know what I want to say, why I want to say it and know what my next move is. Am sad this is all I have time for today, but sometimes this is what happens I guess.
Brilliantly, however, the childminder has offered to have Bean on Monday as she was ill last Thurs. So I won't lose any of that time as I didn't manage to work over the weekend. We have been invited to the South for a family do in Aug which I considered going to, despite PhD, and was told by the party-haver that I really don't need to go but should work instead. So I think I will work and send DB and Beean off and have a long weekend to myself to Get Shit Done. He doesn't want to go either though!
And so I am suspended! No library no nuttin'. eek. I can't wait to get the PhD done and not be in this crappy hole any more.
x J
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