For you lucky funded folk...
I have found a superb and clear list of the different perks available to an ESRC funded PhD student. (My Uni is particularly weak at letting students know what opportunities they may be able to take advantage of during their course...)
It is specific to the LSE but also general enough to be of use by anyone. It also has a link to the ESRC funding guide.
http://www.lse.ac.uk/collections/studentServicesCentre/financialSupportOffice/ESRCAwardHolders.htm
As an aside, although it says on this site (and at my uni so it may be fairly widespread) that to get the Overseas Fieldwork Allowance you need to submit your original proposal, which has to say you always intended to go to the same place, on the ESRC site it says the original proposal should be submitted OR one written at the end of year one. Research does change - mine has changed from three case study countries to a whole new one - and I think this 'or' reflects this fact.
x J
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Easy like Sunday morning...
Ahhh I have a wee hangover this morning (oops, afternoon) but am feeling pretty fine in all. Generally feeling very very very lazy. DB is showering to go to the gym which is very disappointing as I think he should be lazy with me.
We had a big chat last night and I have realised two Very Important Things:
1) If I can only go to TN for the six months after the issue of the visa then we have thought maybe we should go in November, and not October as planned. This has needed a total brain-change on my part because I have absolutely KNOWN for the past year that I am going to TN at the end of Sept this year - moving it a week to the beginning of Oct was me being as flexible as I get. But no, now we are seriously thinking of November. This way we would arrive in the worst month of the monsoon but it is the penultimate month as in Jan it disappears. This also means I can still have my 30th on a tropical island instead of at a halfway house in the UK while we try and find somewhere to live. It also means that my research will be in the dry months rather than an extra monsoon month which will make it more practical for obvious reasons. It also means I have an extra month to move out and to work out my methodology - I need an extra month this side of going out more than I need it on the other side - I have 18 months when I get back to analyse and write up. It also means we can get cheaper flights because we are booking them on 1 Sept whenever we are going. The only problems are that my volunteer org think I am going in Oct and I emailed them on Friday to confirm this (arg), so had to email today to ask if we could move it on a month. I have given them two months notice so I hope it is ok... If not I guess I will have to go in Oct still? And also I think it is nearing the biggest most biggest festival time so flights,a lthough cheap now, may zoom up and accommodation too. This is relative speculation though. DB is also sad he won't have his birthday in TN too. He is VERY sad on his birthday, he hates it. Silly boy. So it looks like we are going in Nov?!! Three whole months away! It will be winter here! Uni would have started again! Nuts.
We also discussed what to do when we get back from TN and decided:
* we don't want to live apart
* we don't want to live and work and breath in the same metre of space day-in, day-out any more
* we do want to take advantage of this time Up North
* I do want to be a GTA and contribute more to uni things when I am back, rather than skipping town
* DB is going to go Out into Town when we get back and get a job or employ people in his own space.
Yay!! I am glad because I would feel a lot more comfortable being up here and near uni - particularly if I am going to start a family so my Sup doesn't think I am just whiling away my PhD time bumbling about in cornwall and having babies. At least here I can show that I am an active worker.
I was wondering the other day about the new maternity laws. I think in the UK now that statutory maternity leave has gone from 6mths to 1yr? So would that be the same for me with my ESRC maternity time off? This would be amazing if so. Amazing. and so much less stressful because you would have you time off and then come back to work all ready to go. A 6 mth year old would be hard work with a PhD.
So that's what we decided! November! woo! ahhh, we have so much time to get flights, move stuff into storage, finish work, get jabs... Phew!! When DB suggested it I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I have been so stressed! However, I intend to learn from my past mistakes and intend to still finish this chapter imminently so I have maximum time to work on my methodology and can move to TN in a calm and reasonable manner...
Am off to read my guidebooks!
x J
We had a big chat last night and I have realised two Very Important Things:
1) If I can only go to TN for the six months after the issue of the visa then we have thought maybe we should go in November, and not October as planned. This has needed a total brain-change on my part because I have absolutely KNOWN for the past year that I am going to TN at the end of Sept this year - moving it a week to the beginning of Oct was me being as flexible as I get. But no, now we are seriously thinking of November. This way we would arrive in the worst month of the monsoon but it is the penultimate month as in Jan it disappears. This also means I can still have my 30th on a tropical island instead of at a halfway house in the UK while we try and find somewhere to live. It also means that my research will be in the dry months rather than an extra monsoon month which will make it more practical for obvious reasons. It also means I have an extra month to move out and to work out my methodology - I need an extra month this side of going out more than I need it on the other side - I have 18 months when I get back to analyse and write up. It also means we can get cheaper flights because we are booking them on 1 Sept whenever we are going. The only problems are that my volunteer org think I am going in Oct and I emailed them on Friday to confirm this (arg), so had to email today to ask if we could move it on a month. I have given them two months notice so I hope it is ok... If not I guess I will have to go in Oct still? And also I think it is nearing the biggest most biggest festival time so flights,a lthough cheap now, may zoom up and accommodation too. This is relative speculation though. DB is also sad he won't have his birthday in TN too. He is VERY sad on his birthday, he hates it. Silly boy. So it looks like we are going in Nov?!! Three whole months away! It will be winter here! Uni would have started again! Nuts.
We also discussed what to do when we get back from TN and decided:
* we don't want to live apart
* we don't want to live and work and breath in the same metre of space day-in, day-out any more
* we do want to take advantage of this time Up North
* I do want to be a GTA and contribute more to uni things when I am back, rather than skipping town
* DB is going to go Out into Town when we get back and get a job or employ people in his own space.
Yay!! I am glad because I would feel a lot more comfortable being up here and near uni - particularly if I am going to start a family so my Sup doesn't think I am just whiling away my PhD time bumbling about in cornwall and having babies. At least here I can show that I am an active worker.
I was wondering the other day about the new maternity laws. I think in the UK now that statutory maternity leave has gone from 6mths to 1yr? So would that be the same for me with my ESRC maternity time off? This would be amazing if so. Amazing. and so much less stressful because you would have you time off and then come back to work all ready to go. A 6 mth year old would be hard work with a PhD.
So that's what we decided! November! woo! ahhh, we have so much time to get flights, move stuff into storage, finish work, get jabs... Phew!! When DB suggested it I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I have been so stressed! However, I intend to learn from my past mistakes and intend to still finish this chapter imminently so I have maximum time to work on my methodology and can move to TN in a calm and reasonable manner...
Am off to read my guidebooks!
x J
Saturday, 2 August 2008
So obvious but hey...
Not working properly is rubbish. I can't work properly but think about it all the time. I start to forget what the notes I spent a week or two writing and reading and trying to internalise are all about and know I will have to re-read them if I carry on being so slow (ugh). Reading other people's work is disheartening because a) it is better than anything I could write, if I could write at all and b) it is evidence of someone else's wondrous productivity and professionalism right there in my face while I am being slow (of both mind and impetus) and lazy.
THEN, I do some work and magic! The work starts to have shape again and isn't just a random scrawling chapter of 7000 words (what words?!), the notes come together and synopses of books are useful friends rather than intimidating and reproaching evils. In fact, when it starts to come together again it is quite exciting! You know the next two paragraphs and general structure of the chapter again. It has a point! It isn't doomed! It is interesting!
Thank goodness.
And this, dear friend, is what happens when you work. Of course, you all know all this already (or don't because you are the productive creatures of which I am envious) and so it is rather a lonely epiphany but very pleasing nonetheless.
I am a bit worried though as this 8000wd chapter is now happily at 8200 and I am far, far from finishing. I haven't been this bad for EVER, I normally fit very merrily within my word limit. I am concerned. But then, I am also writing everything I know to later slim it down and jiggle it into themes once I start to more clearly see what they are... Hmmm I hope this tactic works.
Also, I have come to realise that perhaps this chapter is meant to be AFTER the chapter I have just written, rather than before, as a lot more of the analysis is drawn from it than I anticipated. It is hard to not sound like I am premeditating my own very important future arguments, or they sound like asides 'oh I just happen to think this' when in the next chapter they are given considerably more status. Hmmm. Changing may be a good thing, but at the mo I am just confused.
So anyway, you may have gathered that I did some work! Yay! 2 hours or roundabouts. I have got over a small impasse that has been depressing me every time I have sat down to work and now have something relatively fresh to write about. Goodo.
Am off to hang some clothes up and prepare myself for that glass of wine... ...I almost feel I deserve it!
HURRAY!
x J
THEN, I do some work and magic! The work starts to have shape again and isn't just a random scrawling chapter of 7000 words (what words?!), the notes come together and synopses of books are useful friends rather than intimidating and reproaching evils. In fact, when it starts to come together again it is quite exciting! You know the next two paragraphs and general structure of the chapter again. It has a point! It isn't doomed! It is interesting!
Thank goodness.
And this, dear friend, is what happens when you work. Of course, you all know all this already (or don't because you are the productive creatures of which I am envious) and so it is rather a lonely epiphany but very pleasing nonetheless.
I am a bit worried though as this 8000wd chapter is now happily at 8200 and I am far, far from finishing. I haven't been this bad for EVER, I normally fit very merrily within my word limit. I am concerned. But then, I am also writing everything I know to later slim it down and jiggle it into themes once I start to more clearly see what they are... Hmmm I hope this tactic works.
Also, I have come to realise that perhaps this chapter is meant to be AFTER the chapter I have just written, rather than before, as a lot more of the analysis is drawn from it than I anticipated. It is hard to not sound like I am premeditating my own very important future arguments, or they sound like asides 'oh I just happen to think this' when in the next chapter they are given considerably more status. Hmmm. Changing may be a good thing, but at the mo I am just confused.
So anyway, you may have gathered that I did some work! Yay! 2 hours or roundabouts. I have got over a small impasse that has been depressing me every time I have sat down to work and now have something relatively fresh to write about. Goodo.
Am off to hang some clothes up and prepare myself for that glass of wine... ...I almost feel I deserve it!
HURRAY!
x J
Hofstadter's Law and the 'Planning Fallacy'...
Here it is: from Oliver Burkeman in today's Guardian
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/02/healthandwellbeing.psychology
'Hofstadter's law, conceived by the cognitive scientist Douglas Hofstadter, goes like this: any task you're planning to complete will always take longer than expected - even when Hofstadter's law is taken into account. Even if you know a project will overrun, and build that knowledge into your planning, it'll simply overrun your new estimated finish time, too, Hofstadter says. We chronically underestimate the time things take: that's why Sydney Opera House opened 10 years later than scheduled, and why the new Wembley stadium opened last year, not in 2003, 2005 or 2006, each of which had been, at various points, the predicted completion date. It's also why the list-makers among us get up each day and make to-do lists that by the same evening will seem laughable, even insane.
This is the "planning fallacy", and it's been well-documented by psychologists. (Presumably their experiments took much longer than intended.) It's a strange kind of delusion, since we're not really deluded. We know everything always takes longer than expected; we just seem to forget, again and again. In one study, students were asked when they expected to complete an essay, and gave an average answer of 10 days before deadline. The reality was an average of one day before deadline. Yet when the students were asked when they normally completed such essays, they knew the truth: one day before deadline.
It would be good to find a way around the planning fallacy, since never finishing your to-do list is a joyless way to live, and underestimating task-times means constantly rushing to finish things. (I speak as an expert.) How, though? Intuitively, it feels sensible to work out in detail what your projects involve, to break them into chunks and estimate how long each part will take. But the problem with unforeseen delays is you can't foresee them, no matter how finely detailed your planning. And so, writes Eliezer Yudkowsky on the Oxford University blog OvercomingBias.com, the unlikely trick is to plan in less detail: avoid considering the specifics and simply ask yourself how long it's taken to do roughly similar things before. "You'll get back an answer that sounds hideously long, and clearly reflects no understanding of the special reasons why this task will take less time," he writes. "This answer is true. Deal with it."
Better yet, where possible, avoid planning altogether. Use the "ready, fire, aim" approach, and correct course as you go along. As the blogger Steve Pavlina points out, the advantage is you quickly start getting real feedback. If you're starting a new business, say, you won't have to imagine how customers might respond to your adverts; you'll know. This approach also helps when it comes to those curious tasks that don't obey Hofstadter's law: the ones you fret about for weeks, but that end up taking 10 minutes. Sometimes, the secret to getting things done is just to do them.'
I don't think that running a life on no planning is very wise, and could cause panic attacks in certain individuals (me) - or even take away a huge chunk of reason for life (me) - but I do think that plans should be more flexible and feeling blue because one wasn't met should be a very temporary state. However, I do have an actual deadline that I HAVE to meet which I have worked out is Friday. Hence working today. (And being on my blog and the forum when I am meant to be working?! Bad rabbit! WORK!). According to this I should have know that I wouldn't complete until the day of this final, final deadline (I never finish early but bang on time. Well, I finished my Mres dissertation three days early and was in a catatonic state of shock it took me so much by surprise). but then I may as well have been on holiday until I started to work, hmmm, maybe two weeks ago. But that would be rubbish. I like my 'faux' plans. I neeeeeed my faux plans. And what if it takes longer than you thought? Planning, replanning and routine - it's the way forward for sure. Just don't get too hung up on it.
x J
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/02/healthandwellbeing.psychology
'Hofstadter's law, conceived by the cognitive scientist Douglas Hofstadter, goes like this: any task you're planning to complete will always take longer than expected - even when Hofstadter's law is taken into account. Even if you know a project will overrun, and build that knowledge into your planning, it'll simply overrun your new estimated finish time, too, Hofstadter says. We chronically underestimate the time things take: that's why Sydney Opera House opened 10 years later than scheduled, and why the new Wembley stadium opened last year, not in 2003, 2005 or 2006, each of which had been, at various points, the predicted completion date. It's also why the list-makers among us get up each day and make to-do lists that by the same evening will seem laughable, even insane.
This is the "planning fallacy", and it's been well-documented by psychologists. (Presumably their experiments took much longer than intended.) It's a strange kind of delusion, since we're not really deluded. We know everything always takes longer than expected; we just seem to forget, again and again. In one study, students were asked when they expected to complete an essay, and gave an average answer of 10 days before deadline. The reality was an average of one day before deadline. Yet when the students were asked when they normally completed such essays, they knew the truth: one day before deadline.
It would be good to find a way around the planning fallacy, since never finishing your to-do list is a joyless way to live, and underestimating task-times means constantly rushing to finish things. (I speak as an expert.) How, though? Intuitively, it feels sensible to work out in detail what your projects involve, to break them into chunks and estimate how long each part will take. But the problem with unforeseen delays is you can't foresee them, no matter how finely detailed your planning. And so, writes Eliezer Yudkowsky on the Oxford University blog OvercomingBias.com, the unlikely trick is to plan in less detail: avoid considering the specifics and simply ask yourself how long it's taken to do roughly similar things before. "You'll get back an answer that sounds hideously long, and clearly reflects no understanding of the special reasons why this task will take less time," he writes. "This answer is true. Deal with it."
Better yet, where possible, avoid planning altogether. Use the "ready, fire, aim" approach, and correct course as you go along. As the blogger Steve Pavlina points out, the advantage is you quickly start getting real feedback. If you're starting a new business, say, you won't have to imagine how customers might respond to your adverts; you'll know. This approach also helps when it comes to those curious tasks that don't obey Hofstadter's law: the ones you fret about for weeks, but that end up taking 10 minutes. Sometimes, the secret to getting things done is just to do them.'
I don't think that running a life on no planning is very wise, and could cause panic attacks in certain individuals (me) - or even take away a huge chunk of reason for life (me) - but I do think that plans should be more flexible and feeling blue because one wasn't met should be a very temporary state. However, I do have an actual deadline that I HAVE to meet which I have worked out is Friday. Hence working today. (And being on my blog and the forum when I am meant to be working?! Bad rabbit! WORK!). According to this I should have know that I wouldn't complete until the day of this final, final deadline (I never finish early but bang on time. Well, I finished my Mres dissertation three days early and was in a catatonic state of shock it took me so much by surprise). but then I may as well have been on holiday until I started to work, hmmm, maybe two weeks ago. But that would be rubbish. I like my 'faux' plans. I neeeeeed my faux plans. And what if it takes longer than you thought? Planning, replanning and routine - it's the way forward for sure. Just don't get too hung up on it.
x J
Lazy Saturday Afternoon... Am Working!
It's Saturday afternoon and I am working... If you read this blog you will know that I am not keen on working evenings and weekends but sometimes you just have to to get the work done. I read a fantastic article earlier about work and procrastination that I am going to try and download but otherwise I may copy-type it out... It was very good reading!
Today I have been soooo well behaved. I had some toast and read the paper this morning, then went to the gym for an hour, then came home and had some leftover pilau rice (homemade) and made some curried chickpeas and salad to go with... Very healthy creature. I could have had a sausage sandwich and chippies but actually was craving salad and healthy food (still)... Am not being totally brilliant though because I am working with a glass of wine firmly in my sights... (didn't have any drinkies last night in the end). Probably will stop at 6. So not many man hours but enough to see me through.
Eugh I made myself an instant coffee and it tastes of nothing. We bought this cravendale 'purified' milk (purified?!) very late from a petrol station on the way home from cornwall and it tastes of zilch. Am not a fan - the cows can bloomin' keep it.
My blog has been disabled so I am not sure who I am writing to. Although really I never write to anyone, just blathering. Is like chatting into a well. Chat chat chat.
I have posted myself in the kitchen for the mo as 1. all my notes upstairs are stressing me out; 2. upstairs is my office - too official - and 3. today is Saturday. Also, I can't have the radio on in here because the volume control is broken which means it is very tinny and either full of static or very quiet or very loud. Therefore I do not listen to it. And have to work in silence.
Ah. It is half four.
Must work! Wish me luck...
x J
Today I have been soooo well behaved. I had some toast and read the paper this morning, then went to the gym for an hour, then came home and had some leftover pilau rice (homemade) and made some curried chickpeas and salad to go with... Very healthy creature. I could have had a sausage sandwich and chippies but actually was craving salad and healthy food (still)... Am not being totally brilliant though because I am working with a glass of wine firmly in my sights... (didn't have any drinkies last night in the end). Probably will stop at 6. So not many man hours but enough to see me through.
Eugh I made myself an instant coffee and it tastes of nothing. We bought this cravendale 'purified' milk (purified?!) very late from a petrol station on the way home from cornwall and it tastes of zilch. Am not a fan - the cows can bloomin' keep it.
My blog has been disabled so I am not sure who I am writing to. Although really I never write to anyone, just blathering. Is like chatting into a well. Chat chat chat.
I have posted myself in the kitchen for the mo as 1. all my notes upstairs are stressing me out; 2. upstairs is my office - too official - and 3. today is Saturday. Also, I can't have the radio on in here because the volume control is broken which means it is very tinny and either full of static or very quiet or very loud. Therefore I do not listen to it. And have to work in silence.
Ah. It is half four.
Must work! Wish me luck...
x J
Friday, 1 August 2008
Bit embarrassed
I haven't actually really done anything today, and if it wasn't for this blog then I would be fine but that thing is I do have to report and it makes me feel just awful. I am a terrible PhDer, an awful example of a good worker and I am going to sort this out.
I have done some work. But not really. And nor am I going to go for a run because I am slovenly. I do want to drink wine though. Arf. I know what is happening - it's because I only got home last night so am busy unpacking and cleaning clothes and sorting out my life. Oh, I have sorted out my visa situ at last which took allll morning and then some. I am going to get our passports back and go in and do it at Birmingham in person in 6 weeks or so, therefore giving us maximum time in TN. I really thought I had to go, drop it off and then go back sometime to pick it up which would be nonsense as I live zonks away from Birmingham. There may even be a 'clinic' in my local town that I could go to apparently. (I found a super helpful consumer website which I wish I had found last month!)
Whenever DB and I go away and come back we always have a drink and chat and ruminate over the events. I love doing this, its always fun. I have, scarily, found the most perfect place to get married too and am soooo excited and want to tell him about it. Though there is no chance this is going to happen in the next couple of years, I have found the venue. This is the scary super-organised, impatient creature he would be marrying. Hmmm... I think I will be turning up on my todd... Ah but it is LUSH. One day I shall divulge! (Am a bit scared even of myself to talk about it too much atm. Anyway, I have to tell DB first of course! It's only polite.)
I did the most amazing super-healthy shop earlier. Being away I have been eating pasties, fry-ups, packet sandwiches, crisps, pub dinners... I thought I was going to explode but strangely weigh just the same... Cooooool. I do have a craving for green food, chickpeas and fruit though, hence the healthy shopping. Unfortunately I didn't get any wine. Bums.
Texted my friend I am worried about earlier. Have heard nowt back. Oh well. I have put my fears on the backburner for now - am sure she is being harrassed enough anyway. Hmph.
Have lovely weekends all! I expect my conscience to kick in tomorrow so will make a plan (my final, final plan) and stick to it - I will probably report in tomorrow, hopefully to brag about how much work I have done. If I don't work tomorrow though it won't be the end of the world as I am definitely working on Sunday, all day, like it is a normal day. My Sup will be on my case soon otherwise and I have never, ever had him have to chase me up for work - in fact, I am the total keener who hands in work early. I don't want my image to be tarnished now, no sir. He is like a mentor to me and has followed me from wee we'll-take-a-punt-on-you-MA tadpole to funded-PhDer and I just couldn't let him down at all. He has seen something in me that I don't see at all and nurtured me along and I am soooooooo grateful. Yes, I still heart my Sup.
x J
I have done some work. But not really. And nor am I going to go for a run because I am slovenly. I do want to drink wine though. Arf. I know what is happening - it's because I only got home last night so am busy unpacking and cleaning clothes and sorting out my life. Oh, I have sorted out my visa situ at last which took allll morning and then some. I am going to get our passports back and go in and do it at Birmingham in person in 6 weeks or so, therefore giving us maximum time in TN. I really thought I had to go, drop it off and then go back sometime to pick it up which would be nonsense as I live zonks away from Birmingham. There may even be a 'clinic' in my local town that I could go to apparently. (I found a super helpful consumer website which I wish I had found last month!)
Whenever DB and I go away and come back we always have a drink and chat and ruminate over the events. I love doing this, its always fun. I have, scarily, found the most perfect place to get married too and am soooo excited and want to tell him about it. Though there is no chance this is going to happen in the next couple of years, I have found the venue. This is the scary super-organised, impatient creature he would be marrying. Hmmm... I think I will be turning up on my todd... Ah but it is LUSH. One day I shall divulge! (Am a bit scared even of myself to talk about it too much atm. Anyway, I have to tell DB first of course! It's only polite.)
I did the most amazing super-healthy shop earlier. Being away I have been eating pasties, fry-ups, packet sandwiches, crisps, pub dinners... I thought I was going to explode but strangely weigh just the same... Cooooool. I do have a craving for green food, chickpeas and fruit though, hence the healthy shopping. Unfortunately I didn't get any wine. Bums.
Texted my friend I am worried about earlier. Have heard nowt back. Oh well. I have put my fears on the backburner for now - am sure she is being harrassed enough anyway. Hmph.
Have lovely weekends all! I expect my conscience to kick in tomorrow so will make a plan (my final, final plan) and stick to it - I will probably report in tomorrow, hopefully to brag about how much work I have done. If I don't work tomorrow though it won't be the end of the world as I am definitely working on Sunday, all day, like it is a normal day. My Sup will be on my case soon otherwise and I have never, ever had him have to chase me up for work - in fact, I am the total keener who hands in work early. I don't want my image to be tarnished now, no sir. He is like a mentor to me and has followed me from wee we'll-take-a-punt-on-you-MA tadpole to funded-PhDer and I just couldn't let him down at all. He has seen something in me that I don't see at all and nurtured me along and I am soooooooo grateful. Yes, I still heart my Sup.
x J
Back to it! Am home at last!
Ahhhhhh I am sooooooo happy. Sat at my wee desk, in my room with all my things and plants and my window and my coffee in my mug... ahhhhhh.
And Relax.
I feel like I have been away for a million years. I feel normal! I was worried I was zoning off into a wee depressive hole which for some bizarre reason does seem to ccur around this time of year until the end of September (I don't know why but I am noticing an annual pattern to my craziness) but no, I feel quite happy thank the lord. I think cornwall was a bit oppressive for one reason or another. I wonder if this is part of my control freakery and it is getting to the point where to be anywhere out of my environment drives me nuts? Or, most hopefully and likely, I am at such an important junction in my work that to be anywhere other than home is just not good at the mo.
Oh Britney, oh Britney. This poor wee girl. It just said on the radio about how she was photographed 'partying with no knickers on' and so her dad took over her finances and legal issues. I have been out and about in such a state as well in my time (sometimes it is impossible to avoid a VPL otherwise) but fortunately no one was there to take photos of my 'disgrace'. Lock us all up! And now her kids have gone to that fine upstanding creature K-Fed (who apparently, so DB informed me after reading some filthy rag or other, is going to 'get fit' so he can release a fitness video for January to help feed his kids man. Wow, what a world.) How does she stand a chance? I think she should come to mine for a cup of tea and a big cuddle. Maybe we will go camping and have long chats. No boozy though Britney; stay away from da boozy.
So! Anyway! On to today! What shall I doooooo....
Well, I woke up late because we only got in at half one after an enormous drive in incredibly sketchy weather. Today is going to be a settling-in day I have decided. I am going to work out this visa nonsense, pay some bills (payday! Yaya!), rifle through my notes and then I confess I am going to go downstairs and work my way through my sky plus recordings from the past week. But with my work too! With my work yes yes. I have a load of copy and pasting type work to do and so will get that done today for my last few agencies I will I willlllllllllll. If I sit here I will skive in all sorts of ways as I am still a bit feral from my holiday. I will go downstairs and behave, honest. And then I shall go for a two mile run - even my marathon schedule has gone asunder in the past week. Pasties and running = sick.
Oooh as well, I have been really thinking about post-TN and what to do. DB and I are driving each other insania cooped up in this lovely three-bed semi with garden in the suburbs. And how this will change when we move back I don't know. Yesterday I thought maybe he should live down south and I live here on my todd for a few months - we both fancy living on our own for a bit anyway - but I don't think we would really like it. And it's too far. And not conducive to family-making. So, not a good idea in all. The only reason I want to be here is to teach but we don't even teach any more. My friend was a GTA and never saw the kids because the lecturer had it all sewn up. He asked her to send him some articles if she saw any good ones but she works on Latin American civil war and peace, and he in Critical Security Studies. Different altogether. My other friend took on a pastoral role for her undergrads (off her own back to contribute something for her wage) but had no contact teaching time. So what if I get a house up here especially and have that situ?! Good for money and lazytime but I would be angered. I would rather come up once or twice a term and do presentations or guest lecture actually. I could even offer my services to Plymo uni maybe (I did my MA there and know a couple of staff). Plus I will be teaching English in TN for three months so that could show teaching-ness on my CV enough - I don't want to be an academic as we all know. I just want to lecture/take seminars for a bit because I love my discipline! Anyway, maybe I should discount that as a reason to worry about. And if I was south I have DB's family to babysit should it happen, I have my homeland and friends and I would be so much happier and DB would be very happy indeed. Also, also, also DB in hankering to go back to Cornwall for a bit while I want to go to London when I have finished. This way we will get cornwall out of the way and can go to London and then go back later but he won't be 'Cornwall now!' all the time in London... (I owe him you see, he has traipsed all over Britain with me for the past few years so it's only fair he has some say in our life post-PhD). I wonder though if with the funding I have to stay near uni. I think I do. Although they don't need to know but I don't know how happy my Sup would be as I wouldn't be giving anything back to the dept really... I wouldn't go to the research groups. It's a weird thing to be thinking about because a couple of weeks ago I was hell bent on getting as close to Uni as possible without being in town. But that is because I wanted DB and I to be closer to friends and I wanted to be able to go into uni easily for teaching. Even though I am trying to be sociable though we are all over the place and being in uni at the same time is unlikely. We are all working up to going away on fieldwork, or in another country, or with parents, or in London, or visiting family/friends.
Hmmmm. And I wonder if, if I am far away, will I forget my PhD?! But then - what else would I do all day and I don't forget about it here and I haven't been to uni for about a month!
Hmmmm. Also, Cornwall is a million times more expensive than here but I would be on the same wage... Hmmmm.
Righty! Am off. Lovely to chat. G'bah!
x J
And Relax.
I feel like I have been away for a million years. I feel normal! I was worried I was zoning off into a wee depressive hole which for some bizarre reason does seem to ccur around this time of year until the end of September (I don't know why but I am noticing an annual pattern to my craziness) but no, I feel quite happy thank the lord. I think cornwall was a bit oppressive for one reason or another. I wonder if this is part of my control freakery and it is getting to the point where to be anywhere out of my environment drives me nuts? Or, most hopefully and likely, I am at such an important junction in my work that to be anywhere other than home is just not good at the mo.
Oh Britney, oh Britney. This poor wee girl. It just said on the radio about how she was photographed 'partying with no knickers on' and so her dad took over her finances and legal issues. I have been out and about in such a state as well in my time (sometimes it is impossible to avoid a VPL otherwise) but fortunately no one was there to take photos of my 'disgrace'. Lock us all up! And now her kids have gone to that fine upstanding creature K-Fed (who apparently, so DB informed me after reading some filthy rag or other, is going to 'get fit' so he can release a fitness video for January to help feed his kids man. Wow, what a world.) How does she stand a chance? I think she should come to mine for a cup of tea and a big cuddle. Maybe we will go camping and have long chats. No boozy though Britney; stay away from da boozy.
So! Anyway! On to today! What shall I doooooo....
Well, I woke up late because we only got in at half one after an enormous drive in incredibly sketchy weather. Today is going to be a settling-in day I have decided. I am going to work out this visa nonsense, pay some bills (payday! Yaya!), rifle through my notes and then I confess I am going to go downstairs and work my way through my sky plus recordings from the past week. But with my work too! With my work yes yes. I have a load of copy and pasting type work to do and so will get that done today for my last few agencies I will I willlllllllllll. If I sit here I will skive in all sorts of ways as I am still a bit feral from my holiday. I will go downstairs and behave, honest. And then I shall go for a two mile run - even my marathon schedule has gone asunder in the past week. Pasties and running = sick.
Oooh as well, I have been really thinking about post-TN and what to do. DB and I are driving each other insania cooped up in this lovely three-bed semi with garden in the suburbs. And how this will change when we move back I don't know. Yesterday I thought maybe he should live down south and I live here on my todd for a few months - we both fancy living on our own for a bit anyway - but I don't think we would really like it. And it's too far. And not conducive to family-making. So, not a good idea in all. The only reason I want to be here is to teach but we don't even teach any more. My friend was a GTA and never saw the kids because the lecturer had it all sewn up. He asked her to send him some articles if she saw any good ones but she works on Latin American civil war and peace, and he in Critical Security Studies. Different altogether. My other friend took on a pastoral role for her undergrads (off her own back to contribute something for her wage) but had no contact teaching time. So what if I get a house up here especially and have that situ?! Good for money and lazytime but I would be angered. I would rather come up once or twice a term and do presentations or guest lecture actually. I could even offer my services to Plymo uni maybe (I did my MA there and know a couple of staff). Plus I will be teaching English in TN for three months so that could show teaching-ness on my CV enough - I don't want to be an academic as we all know. I just want to lecture/take seminars for a bit because I love my discipline! Anyway, maybe I should discount that as a reason to worry about. And if I was south I have DB's family to babysit should it happen, I have my homeland and friends and I would be so much happier and DB would be very happy indeed. Also, also, also DB in hankering to go back to Cornwall for a bit while I want to go to London when I have finished. This way we will get cornwall out of the way and can go to London and then go back later but he won't be 'Cornwall now!' all the time in London... (I owe him you see, he has traipsed all over Britain with me for the past few years so it's only fair he has some say in our life post-PhD). I wonder though if with the funding I have to stay near uni. I think I do. Although they don't need to know but I don't know how happy my Sup would be as I wouldn't be giving anything back to the dept really... I wouldn't go to the research groups. It's a weird thing to be thinking about because a couple of weeks ago I was hell bent on getting as close to Uni as possible without being in town. But that is because I wanted DB and I to be closer to friends and I wanted to be able to go into uni easily for teaching. Even though I am trying to be sociable though we are all over the place and being in uni at the same time is unlikely. We are all working up to going away on fieldwork, or in another country, or with parents, or in London, or visiting family/friends.
Hmmmm. And I wonder if, if I am far away, will I forget my PhD?! But then - what else would I do all day and I don't forget about it here and I haven't been to uni for about a month!
Hmmmm. Also, Cornwall is a million times more expensive than here but I would be on the same wage... Hmmmm.
Righty! Am off. Lovely to chat. G'bah!
x J
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