Back to it! Am home at last!

Ahhhhhh I am sooooooo happy. Sat at my wee desk, in my room with all my things and plants and my window and my coffee in my mug... ahhhhhh.

And Relax.

I feel like I have been away for a million years. I feel normal! I was worried I was zoning off into a wee depressive hole which for some bizarre reason does seem to ccur around this time of year until the end of September (I don't know why but I am noticing an annual pattern to my craziness) but no, I feel quite happy thank the lord. I think cornwall was a bit oppressive for one reason or another. I wonder if this is part of my control freakery and it is getting to the point where to be anywhere out of my environment drives me nuts? Or, most hopefully and likely, I am at such an important junction in my work that to be anywhere other than home is just not good at the mo.

Oh Britney, oh Britney. This poor wee girl. It just said on the radio about how she was photographed 'partying with no knickers on' and so her dad took over her finances and legal issues. I have been out and about in such a state as well in my time (sometimes it is impossible to avoid a VPL otherwise) but fortunately no one was there to take photos of my 'disgrace'. Lock us all up! And now her kids have gone to that fine upstanding creature K-Fed (who apparently, so DB informed me after reading some filthy rag or other, is going to 'get fit' so he can release a fitness video for January to help feed his kids man. Wow, what a world.) How does she stand a chance? I think she should come to mine for a cup of tea and a big cuddle. Maybe we will go camping and have long chats. No boozy though Britney; stay away from da boozy.

So! Anyway! On to today! What shall I doooooo....

Well, I woke up late because we only got in at half one after an enormous drive in incredibly sketchy weather. Today is going to be a settling-in day I have decided. I am going to work out this visa nonsense, pay some bills (payday! Yaya!), rifle through my notes and then I confess I am going to go downstairs and work my way through my sky plus recordings from the past week. But with my work too! With my work yes yes. I have a load of copy and pasting type work to do and so will get that done today for my last few agencies I will I willlllllllllll. If I sit here I will skive in all sorts of ways as I am still a bit feral from my holiday. I will go downstairs and behave, honest. And then I shall go for a two mile run - even my marathon schedule has gone asunder in the past week. Pasties and running = sick.

Oooh as well, I have been really thinking about post-TN and what to do. DB and I are driving each other insania cooped up in this lovely three-bed semi with garden in the suburbs. And how this will change when we move back I don't know. Yesterday I thought maybe he should live down south and I live here on my todd for a few months - we both fancy living on our own for a bit anyway - but I don't think we would really like it. And it's too far. And not conducive to family-making. So, not a good idea in all. The only reason I want to be here is to teach but we don't even teach any more. My friend was a GTA and never saw the kids because the lecturer had it all sewn up. He asked her to send him some articles if she saw any good ones but she works on Latin American civil war and peace, and he in Critical Security Studies. Different altogether. My other friend took on a pastoral role for her undergrads (off her own back to contribute something for her wage) but had no contact teaching time. So what if I get a house up here especially and have that situ?! Good for money and lazytime but I would be angered. I would rather come up once or twice a term and do presentations or guest lecture actually. I could even offer my services to Plymo uni maybe (I did my MA there and know a couple of staff). Plus I will be teaching English in TN for three months so that could show teaching-ness on my CV enough - I don't want to be an academic as we all know. I just want to lecture/take seminars for a bit because I love my discipline! Anyway, maybe I should discount that as a reason to worry about. And if I was south I have DB's family to babysit should it happen, I have my homeland and friends and I would be so much happier and DB would be very happy indeed. Also, also, also DB in hankering to go back to Cornwall for a bit while I want to go to London when I have finished. This way we will get cornwall out of the way and can go to London and then go back later but he won't be 'Cornwall now!' all the time in London... (I owe him you see, he has traipsed all over Britain with me for the past few years so it's only fair he has some say in our life post-PhD). I wonder though if with the funding I have to stay near uni. I think I do. Although they don't need to know but I don't know how happy my Sup would be as I wouldn't be giving anything back to the dept really... I wouldn't go to the research groups. It's a weird thing to be thinking about because a couple of weeks ago I was hell bent on getting as close to Uni as possible without being in town. But that is because I wanted DB and I to be closer to friends and I wanted to be able to go into uni easily for teaching. Even though I am trying to be sociable though we are all over the place and being in uni at the same time is unlikely. We are all working up to going away on fieldwork, or in another country, or with parents, or in London, or visiting family/friends.

Hmmmm. And I wonder if, if I am far away, will I forget my PhD?! But then - what else would I do all day and I don't forget about it here and I haven't been to uni for about a month!

Hmmmm. Also, Cornwall is a million times more expensive than here but I would be on the same wage... Hmmmm.


Righty! Am off. Lovely to chat. G'bah!

x J