Back in the Game

Hurray! I am being a proper adult! Well, I am not eating properly and still on a major sulk about eating more and more curry. But other than that...

Today I managed to go out and be happily self-sufficient. Being with DB does mean that he takes over rather, and me being all lazy I do let him... And also, the people here speak to the man and so I am genearally never expected to do or say anything, which means DB is even more asssertive than usual. As we are both fairly alpha beings this does grate and we do fight about it. But then I back down and watch tele. Anyway, point being, that today I went and sorted out my phone so I am now mobile-worthy! YAYA! Also, I managed to get to my volunteering appt today and have found out what I am to do! I am to illustrate kiddies books! ( a lot more fun nd creative than just writing 'leaf'.) And if I am good, I may get to help teach English to tiny tots using phonetics. I shall meet the lady they have doing that at the moment (an Ameican volunteer - woopy, I hope she is nice and can be my friend), tomorrow and see what that is about. I am so looking forward to writing out kiddies stories though! And picture books! how lovely! Although lord knows where I would start. Eck. I shall blag it. I can keep my own hours which is ace, I shall probably do ten/10.30 to four... As long as I don't have to get up early and commute then I shall be fine. The guy next to me keeps wobbling his leg, and we are sat on this flimsy mezzanine level (more like balcony) and so I am bouncing up and down like no-one's... And I spoke to the 'English team' about my research and they seemed very interested and nodded enthusiastically when I spoke about cycnicism about whether the aid worked and suchlike - so i think I am on to something here. My biggest fear was coming here and everyone saying that the aid they recieved and the way they were treated was just *the nuts* and so the past few years would be pretty much barking up the worng tree. Although, I suppose whatever happens I can turn it into research wobble wobble. Ya, so generally I feel a lot happier. And I got my first rickshaw on my won, got us lost and walked half the way back in the end. Great stuff. I wasn't ripped off though and also I spoke Tamil. Things are looking up! Now all I need is to find someone to give me a lovely meal.

We went flat hunting today to. We are in such a dilemma about what to do about accomm - do we get soemwhere of our own, or just stay in a guesthouse? Turns out that our vol org doesn't know of anywhere because they are all Indian... which is generally good for my research but not good for helpful tips about what volunteers do for accommodation in this land. We need to stay for about a year apparently to get a flat, but somewhere nice was found for us for three months (perfect area as well) BUT they want 1.5 grand deposit! WHAT?! And we don't have that. we coud probably find it - but then what if we don't get it back?!! They could say anyting and we wouldn't know or be able to even stay in the country to get it back. So, we think we will stay in a guesthouse. DB is looking now.

Other than that, I have been working out my general plan of action in TN... I always have to thinkover my plans. They change all the time, but really almost imperceptibly - it is only have a few weeks that the shift is noticable. Now I am not sure that an ethnographic style is going to work at all - the culture and language barrier is so great, and it would take longer than six months - longer than a year even to 'be remoetely accepted. There is just too muh of a divide between Indian and Westerner - not in a palpable way, just in a 'way'. So I cannot pretend and think that not pretending or holding out that it may happen is a good , honest way forward - and so now me-being-me will be an important part of the wirte-up, without assumptions that I can immerse. I don't think anyone can really - unless you spend a couple of years living in a tiny community that has no choice but to assimilate you, and you to it. But that would;t work for me becuase I need a lot of info from a lot of people... One village just won't cut it. So I think I will be inceeasingly observation and interview based... Also, there is the issue of interviews that i have to do in england with aid agencies - they need to have their say. This porbably constitutes part of the research process and so maybe my time here isn't the focal point of the 'data gatehring' process, but just one aspect of it - in which case until April should suffice. If i get all my interviews and my observations and impressions - why stay longer? So these things are all things that I ponder. I really do feel like I am the navigator of this process, but the geography, the terrain and the vehicle are all mostly independent of me, I just try and steer it a bit.

DB has come to get me! must go ta ta!

x J