Mamallapuram... still

Helloooooooooo

Well, I haven't done much so this will be brief!! I have been a bit ill - Thanks for the advice on the pepsi Zalfa!! And for your comment in general - it was lovely.

So yesterday I lay around, literally allll day with no energy or mojo or anything and tried to comfort myself with an article about critical philosophy and world politics... by a guy who really knows language. So much so, it was impossible to read. Ah, stupid academics.

Today I have been much more spritely and this morning decided that if I wasn't up to going and door knocking for interviews then well, just don't! No one is going anywhere for now and so I can come back when i am actually ready to garble on about my research in a more concise way, having learnt a thing or two about it while volunteering in Chennai. All the travellers here think we are insane for possibly spending three months in Chennai. they only go there for offical reasons. here is so much more peaceful and quite an enclave where the rest of the world can be quite forgotton about - in comparison Chennai must seem quite terrifying. I, on the other hand, am quite looking forward to 'taming the beast' and already have fond memories and have gleaned enjoyment out of that manky city. And I really lilke being Tamil for a while - here I am a tourist and so eat with cutlery and buy more than expensive food - because it is expected of me. In chennai nothing is expected of us anything we do that is right seems like quite a victory in our world. Also, we are here for an experience that is more than simply touring around the country - we want to *live* here. Which means taking on a bit more than the coastal, tourist village...

I haven't been totally chilled out though, I have met a girl here who is volunteering and she gave me details about the org and if we are here on Monday I will seek it out - I really will. Apparently the lady who runs it is very chatty and will talk and talk and show me round and is super friendly so it would be a nice entry into the research. I have retreated slightly into my shell the past two days because I have been feeling ropey and also, I think, because i put a bit too much pressure on myself to 'get out there' and interview, 'now, now, now!' and felt that because I had been talkig about doing it, I had to do it or people (who?!) would frown at me and think of me as a failure (ah, I know who - me!!). So, Miss perfectionist pressure-lady I say NO! And stick to plan a) which was chill out for three weeks, get into the cultural groove and *then* start volunteering and getting the lie of the land. I am also already thinking of extending my stay somewhat, from coming back on the beginning of april to the end of June - there is no reason why not and if we go to Sri Lanka in feb I can apply for a new 6 months visa. If they say no, then I will come back in April as planned. 7/8 months would be spot on I think.

And, guess what we did today?! we found a POOOOOL! and I sunbathed and swam all day! fabulous. I did wear a full piece though, rather than my spangly bikini... Was nice to feel a bit more relaxed although, really, I am not relaxed at all. Am just an uptight get. Working holiday?! That is a paradox that will take some time to warm into methinks. When doing one you fervently feel you ought to be doing the other which creates an unhappy cognitive dissonance. And as we know, cognitive dissonance is a one way ticket to stressland. At least I can be stressed by a pool and coconut grove though...

Happy weekend!

x J