Doing well so far!!

Not work wise though, not yet - but I have got up before 9.30 (I am not a morning person so being a student suits me and my late morning ways... although I am slowly getting more towards an 8.30 start), had a shower (not showering every morning is another thing that suits my slovenly ways but means I look a state when hanging up washing or needing to go and get milk... am incapacitated) and feel all refreshed (and knackered, but in a refreshed way), had a bowl of porridge and got a cup of coffee. And later I am going to the first session of my army-style exercise club so so far it all sounds pretty much back to normal.

Workwise I had a chat with myself last night and decided that if I do no work again today then I am going to Uni tomorrow to work in the library in stern silence. This fills me with bored horror and so I shall do some work today to appease myself.

First though, I need to move my desk. This is a bit of a chore as it is all set up now with my books etc. I am also moving it to a rather stupid part of the room where it will stick out and is far from the plug socket. So far, so dumb. BUT it is by the window which is really important - I am currently with my back to the window and may as well be in a dungeon. I don't like not know what the weather is doing or being able to see life. It is also where, in my imagination, I always see myself doing my late-night working with my lamp and a cup of coffee. It just is, and so I feel that if I move there I will make this a realisation. So I shall spend a lot of time this morning moving the table etc, then realise it look too stupid and bulky for words and then move it back.

These things are important when you spend most of your days in that spot.

Am finding this part of the PhD very difficult. It is interesting how the PhD throws up all sorts of challenges that aren't particularly obvious. For me, it is that I have worked out the 'secret' to my PhD thesis so now I just have to research it all thoroughly (so I know I am right) and get it down on paper. It is not difficult, it is just work. And it is not just work, it is *slog*. Boring, hard, slog that you don't have motivation for because any sane, intelligent (halfway) human being would not think it is fun because it is NOT. But that's the PhD for you. I think it is hard as well because you go and do research and are stimulated mentally every day - it is exhausting but you are *doing* things, seeing people, being actively stressed and challenged. Then you come home and bam, you work out it isn't all this enigmatic degree after all, it is just a piece of work with no secrets to it but work, then you realise you have to sit down, every day, and read, read, read, and write, write, write. This takes some adjusting I think. I have only just realised that, apart from all my personal issues these past few months, coming home and then sitting to work is actually a really tricky transition - and I was looking forward to it!

Realising this is making my life a lot easier today - I know that I am not necessarily meant to be brilliant at reading and writing now just because it is what I did before India and that I have to be hard on myself - it won't come naturally. I have to sit and work and realise it is not going to just 'happen' one day.

I feel so much better realising this. It is a challenge, and I must overcome it if I am to get anywhere with this PhD. And I shall! I shall work hard like a proper student and grown up.

Am off to move my desk then.

x J