New Plan...

I talked to DB last night and I think, think, think we have decided to move down South in Jan... so for now I am sort of back on maternity leave. Well, rather than full on maternity leave I am going to really strip back the work I have planned to do. It isn't definite - we need to talk to Grandma first and see if she would be able to a) put us up for a month or two and b) look after Bean for me for a few mornings/afternoons a week so I can get some serious hours in. If she says yes then I will definitely calm the work down and revel again in being full time Mum with no other serious competition for my time and mental energy. If she says no (unlikely) then I guess we will need to consider a childminder. yuk.

I am going to read and catch up on the literature for the next few months, and pack up my house. I am going to be so so so sad to leave here, I love my life here and have made some ace friends. But am really looking forward to bringing up Bean around friends and family and other babies that he will know forever. And the sea and countryside. I will have to submit in December instead of September 2011 which is a bummer and means I will have 6 months of the PhD unpaid. But talking to DB he is willing to take this risk in order to keep us up here until Jan, and he totally understands that I can't work. I was so relieved! I was so worried he would tell me off for being lazy and be all 'where there's a will there's a way' which would have been so unhelpful.

All I can say is that I feel a weight has been lifted. I can concentrate on one priority - Bean - without any compromise and in Jan, with the help of friends and Grandma, concentrate on the PhD again. This isn't to say am not doing anything though - I am funded after all, I can't just stop/take a break. I will catch up on the literature and work most days - just not in the intense way that I was having to do before.

Phew!

Having a baby and doing a PhD isn't impossible. But it does mean you have to have a lot of people willing to help you out and look after your baby so you can work. And it has only just dawned on me that even at 10 months my baby is too young to do without me at the moment, and I am too knackered looking after him, DB and my house to work every night and weekend.

Now I just need to work out how I am going to package it to my Sup... Well, we'll wait on Grandma's verdict first. What a huge decision for us - moving south really is a Big Deal.

x J