Ahhh I am well again. So well. So very well.
I was so ill last week! This time last week I couoldn't even look after Bean; DB had to take the day off work and help me. Nasty virus. I didn't think I would ever feel energetic again. But I am just dandy and looking forward to thrashing around in the pool later for some triathlon training!
Workwise, I did some reading last night and am back to reading today in order to bumf up my chapter and make it a Second Draft. I want this to be done by the end of this week so I can then email it to my sup and we can talk about it next weds when we meet. That would be SUPER.
I went to London at the weekend to visit some friends and it has set me off thinking. I *hate* London and have always said i will never go back there to live. But actually i realised I hate camden and Kings cross and islington and Holloway and the touristy parts of London, but actually really like little (ahem, 'posh') enclaves of it like richmond (eek could never afford to live there!) and Hampstead (ditto) and reckon there must be a middle ground of nice housing and greenery and not so many tourists or high rises or, erm, people. I have seen a few areas like this and am always surprised and think maybe I could do it. I spoke to DB and he said that if he never gets to live in London (I lived there when we were newly going out about 8 years ago and didn't live together then) he would probably regret it. I have always been adamant that I won't live there because I am a country girl and the lack of green depresses me, as does all the people - so many people - and the anonymity and claustrophobia of it all. The noise of cars and busyness. UG. And of course I would *never* bring up a baby there. But actually maybe it wouldn't be so bad for a couple of years - if I had a job too and we were earning decent money between us we could live somewhere nice. As an academic or research fellow I am looking at over £30k for my first job (full time admittedly, there is a child care issue going on here but then it would only be for a couple of years).
And that brings me on to my second realisation - that actually I would quite like to be an academic, even though i thought I wouldn't at *all*. As my course reaches a close I realise that a) I will miss it because I do really love my PhD and b) I have all this knowledge that will just go if it is not kept up to date and used. What a sad waste! What I didn't want about academia before I could do much more easily now Bean is getting older and doesn't depend on me so much. I could go to conferences on weekends - they could come too even if it was somewhere nice like oxford - or copenhagen! I am looking to start publishing and even the idea of presenting doesn't fill me with complete horror any more. I would love to lecture - share my knowledge and encourage thinking and a love of my topic - and mentor MAs and PhDs... And I would like some money! ONLY PROBLEM: I don't want a stranger bringing up my child while he is very young. Could I put Bean into full time care at 2 years old? (I ask this specifically because my Sup has given me a nod towards a lecturing job that is *right* up my street and would probably start in Sept. Would certainly help with the funding issue... Although that job isn't too far from my family so they could help with childcare. Anywho...) What I am trying to say is that i would love a job in academia, I have realised. I wonder if before i was a) still in post baby hibernation mode where anything other than eating cake and looking after your wean is insanely daunting and b) didn't really think anyone would want me. I am profoundly lacking in self confidence, but think that my Sup sending me the job application has made me feel good about it, like he obviously thinks I should apply because I could get it.
Anyway. Thinking, thinking. Am really glad I am starting to want to work in my field though, it makes me feel good. I do love my topic and feel it is very important (the field not my topic per se!) - especially in these Tory-every-man-for-himself-infected days.
I jibber. Must work.
x J
I was so ill last week! This time last week I couoldn't even look after Bean; DB had to take the day off work and help me. Nasty virus. I didn't think I would ever feel energetic again. But I am just dandy and looking forward to thrashing around in the pool later for some triathlon training!
Workwise, I did some reading last night and am back to reading today in order to bumf up my chapter and make it a Second Draft. I want this to be done by the end of this week so I can then email it to my sup and we can talk about it next weds when we meet. That would be SUPER.
I went to London at the weekend to visit some friends and it has set me off thinking. I *hate* London and have always said i will never go back there to live. But actually i realised I hate camden and Kings cross and islington and Holloway and the touristy parts of London, but actually really like little (ahem, 'posh') enclaves of it like richmond (eek could never afford to live there!) and Hampstead (ditto) and reckon there must be a middle ground of nice housing and greenery and not so many tourists or high rises or, erm, people. I have seen a few areas like this and am always surprised and think maybe I could do it. I spoke to DB and he said that if he never gets to live in London (I lived there when we were newly going out about 8 years ago and didn't live together then) he would probably regret it. I have always been adamant that I won't live there because I am a country girl and the lack of green depresses me, as does all the people - so many people - and the anonymity and claustrophobia of it all. The noise of cars and busyness. UG. And of course I would *never* bring up a baby there. But actually maybe it wouldn't be so bad for a couple of years - if I had a job too and we were earning decent money between us we could live somewhere nice. As an academic or research fellow I am looking at over £30k for my first job (full time admittedly, there is a child care issue going on here but then it would only be for a couple of years).
And that brings me on to my second realisation - that actually I would quite like to be an academic, even though i thought I wouldn't at *all*. As my course reaches a close I realise that a) I will miss it because I do really love my PhD and b) I have all this knowledge that will just go if it is not kept up to date and used. What a sad waste! What I didn't want about academia before I could do much more easily now Bean is getting older and doesn't depend on me so much. I could go to conferences on weekends - they could come too even if it was somewhere nice like oxford - or copenhagen! I am looking to start publishing and even the idea of presenting doesn't fill me with complete horror any more. I would love to lecture - share my knowledge and encourage thinking and a love of my topic - and mentor MAs and PhDs... And I would like some money! ONLY PROBLEM: I don't want a stranger bringing up my child while he is very young. Could I put Bean into full time care at 2 years old? (I ask this specifically because my Sup has given me a nod towards a lecturing job that is *right* up my street and would probably start in Sept. Would certainly help with the funding issue... Although that job isn't too far from my family so they could help with childcare. Anywho...) What I am trying to say is that i would love a job in academia, I have realised. I wonder if before i was a) still in post baby hibernation mode where anything other than eating cake and looking after your wean is insanely daunting and b) didn't really think anyone would want me. I am profoundly lacking in self confidence, but think that my Sup sending me the job application has made me feel good about it, like he obviously thinks I should apply because I could get it.
Anyway. Thinking, thinking. Am really glad I am starting to want to work in my field though, it makes me feel good. I do love my topic and feel it is very important (the field not my topic per se!) - especially in these Tory-every-man-for-himself-infected days.
I jibber. Must work.
x J
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