My meeting with my Sup went well.
It was more businesslike than it has been before... Definitely less sup/student and more colleague-colleague. Which is great - it means I am growing up and being more independent. But I do miss my pats on the head ;0) He said I am obviously doing well and left it at that, which is ok but hmmm... I want to be told I'm doing brilliantly! That my work is excellent! I like that. I am a sucker for approval - I blame it on the fact I did exams at the end of everys chool year since I was 6 and am hugely competitive...
It was a good meeting though - he helped me with a paper that I want to present at a conference in June. The abstract needs to be in next week but that is practically written. The joy of writing about stuff that I have actually written up! My last conference I had to write the paper, then the presentation and *then* it became my chapter! Nightmare! He was pleased I had a conference to present at. And he was pleased that I had actually written the next chapter already. Hehe, yup am mega organised ;0) We decided that my discussion chapter should be written after my lit review chapter... which is going to be my next one! Eeeeeeek! i have always dreaded writing the lit review chapter. BUT in another sense it is a lot of reading and guess what? the sun is out with a vengeance so I can turn the laptop off and read outside :0) hurray hurray! I have so much reading to do it scares me a bit.
I had a massively strong coffee and am completely wired. I am quite sensitive to caffiene - it makes me anxious and shaky!
I am sooooo sad today that I can't get my baby and toddle to the park with him. We have a huge, beautiful park about 100m away down through the village and a baby park next door with swings and sand etc. We would sit on a rug in the park and bask and he could toddle around and pick up sticks and dog poo and eat sandwiches and oranges. Then we'd go to the park where he could go on the slide and pick up cat poo. And then we'd toddle home for a long siesta. Instead, I am paying someone else to do that for me while I work :0( I am quite sad today anyway because we came accross a dead cat on the side of the road on the way to the childminders and I had to call it in. Someone's lovely pet. So sad.
My sup said as well at this stage not to send him second drafts. he said he normally sees the first one, then won't see it again until I send him the whole first draft. Definitely cutting the apron strings! I am sad about this, and really quite scared! Only see the first draft? So I have to put together the whole shebang my*self*? What if it is crap?!! I suppose tho, this is what one needs to be ana academic - i can't go to my 'old' sup every time i write something to check it is ok once I have a job ;0) At some point I have to start marking myself! And it was strange how he didn't have much to comment on, it was mopstly me asking questions. It was *my* work, that I know about, rather than our work - or work that I did but he knew more about. I know about my work now, I am the authority. The more I think about it the more I realise that it was a meeting to cut the apron strings! It is the equivalent of being told it's time to move out of the parental home and find one's own feet in the world.
I don't wanna! Hehe but I suppose I must.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
x J
It was more businesslike than it has been before... Definitely less sup/student and more colleague-colleague. Which is great - it means I am growing up and being more independent. But I do miss my pats on the head ;0) He said I am obviously doing well and left it at that, which is ok but hmmm... I want to be told I'm doing brilliantly! That my work is excellent! I like that. I am a sucker for approval - I blame it on the fact I did exams at the end of everys chool year since I was 6 and am hugely competitive...
It was a good meeting though - he helped me with a paper that I want to present at a conference in June. The abstract needs to be in next week but that is practically written. The joy of writing about stuff that I have actually written up! My last conference I had to write the paper, then the presentation and *then* it became my chapter! Nightmare! He was pleased I had a conference to present at. And he was pleased that I had actually written the next chapter already. Hehe, yup am mega organised ;0) We decided that my discussion chapter should be written after my lit review chapter... which is going to be my next one! Eeeeeeek! i have always dreaded writing the lit review chapter. BUT in another sense it is a lot of reading and guess what? the sun is out with a vengeance so I can turn the laptop off and read outside :0) hurray hurray! I have so much reading to do it scares me a bit.
I had a massively strong coffee and am completely wired. I am quite sensitive to caffiene - it makes me anxious and shaky!
I am sooooo sad today that I can't get my baby and toddle to the park with him. We have a huge, beautiful park about 100m away down through the village and a baby park next door with swings and sand etc. We would sit on a rug in the park and bask and he could toddle around and pick up sticks and dog poo and eat sandwiches and oranges. Then we'd go to the park where he could go on the slide and pick up cat poo. And then we'd toddle home for a long siesta. Instead, I am paying someone else to do that for me while I work :0( I am quite sad today anyway because we came accross a dead cat on the side of the road on the way to the childminders and I had to call it in. Someone's lovely pet. So sad.
My sup said as well at this stage not to send him second drafts. he said he normally sees the first one, then won't see it again until I send him the whole first draft. Definitely cutting the apron strings! I am sad about this, and really quite scared! Only see the first draft? So I have to put together the whole shebang my*self*? What if it is crap?!! I suppose tho, this is what one needs to be ana academic - i can't go to my 'old' sup every time i write something to check it is ok once I have a job ;0) At some point I have to start marking myself! And it was strange how he didn't have much to comment on, it was mopstly me asking questions. It was *my* work, that I know about, rather than our work - or work that I did but he knew more about. I know about my work now, I am the authority. The more I think about it the more I realise that it was a meeting to cut the apron strings! It is the equivalent of being told it's time to move out of the parental home and find one's own feet in the world.
I don't wanna! Hehe but I suppose I must.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
x J
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