Am a bit better today. Not quite as blue. I really don't know what is up with me, am just so moody and down.
I have to think that this will just be a hard year, and that it would be hard with or without external stresses. I dunno. Today I am going to get the intro of this book I am reading finished and this evening I want to finish the conclusion. Hopefully that is all I will need of this book then I can move on. The amount of literature I have to read for this lit review is utterly overwhelming. Never ending. In my mind it will take months - at this rate especially! Maybe I have to move my goals for when I expect to submit to December. The thing is people keep asking me 'when are you going to finish?' and so I say a date and the date keeps moving and I can tell people are losing faith that I will finish and it is disheartening. I will stop saying dates ;0)
I need to be mentally stronger. I need to 'dig in' and get on with it.
I am sorry for being whiny. I am a bit of a nightmare at the mo but hopefully the cloud will lift soon - it usually does ;0)
Triathlon on Sunday! And a house viewing on Sat at a house I am really excited about but so is everyone around these parts it seems as there has been a waiting list to view it! Eek! It has four bedrooms which would mean DB and I would have our own studies... This would be amazing for me psychologically - a room that neither he nor Bean have reason to come in and muck up. All mine. And on the second floor so I would be away from general house noise and not feel the need to go and interject should Bean sound mardy... I want it!
It was interesting reading around yesterday about how other Mums cope with young kiddies and doing a PhD. Generally we all seem to work as and when but never for long periods of time. Short chunks and not at all full time either, which is reassuring because I feel awful that I don't work full time hours. Sort of 15-25 hours a week seems average. I should take heart from this rather than feeling like a loser. I adore my Sup, he has been amazing to me, but essentially he is a man and a rather old skool one at that and I don't think he understands how to support someone in my situation. Instead he has cut the ties when in fact I need more supervision than ever! And he is only losely affiliated with Uni now so I don't feel that anyone is officially looking out for me any more. I feel adrift and a bit lonely and lost. And this really isn't helping! I am a 32 eyar old woman though, and should technically be on the downhill stage on the PhD so should just stop acting like a sulky teenager.
Ok. Am off to make tea, have a think and then get to work :0)
x J
I have to think that this will just be a hard year, and that it would be hard with or without external stresses. I dunno. Today I am going to get the intro of this book I am reading finished and this evening I want to finish the conclusion. Hopefully that is all I will need of this book then I can move on. The amount of literature I have to read for this lit review is utterly overwhelming. Never ending. In my mind it will take months - at this rate especially! Maybe I have to move my goals for when I expect to submit to December. The thing is people keep asking me 'when are you going to finish?' and so I say a date and the date keeps moving and I can tell people are losing faith that I will finish and it is disheartening. I will stop saying dates ;0)
I need to be mentally stronger. I need to 'dig in' and get on with it.
I am sorry for being whiny. I am a bit of a nightmare at the mo but hopefully the cloud will lift soon - it usually does ;0)
Triathlon on Sunday! And a house viewing on Sat at a house I am really excited about but so is everyone around these parts it seems as there has been a waiting list to view it! Eek! It has four bedrooms which would mean DB and I would have our own studies... This would be amazing for me psychologically - a room that neither he nor Bean have reason to come in and muck up. All mine. And on the second floor so I would be away from general house noise and not feel the need to go and interject should Bean sound mardy... I want it!
It was interesting reading around yesterday about how other Mums cope with young kiddies and doing a PhD. Generally we all seem to work as and when but never for long periods of time. Short chunks and not at all full time either, which is reassuring because I feel awful that I don't work full time hours. Sort of 15-25 hours a week seems average. I should take heart from this rather than feeling like a loser. I adore my Sup, he has been amazing to me, but essentially he is a man and a rather old skool one at that and I don't think he understands how to support someone in my situation. Instead he has cut the ties when in fact I need more supervision than ever! And he is only losely affiliated with Uni now so I don't feel that anyone is officially looking out for me any more. I feel adrift and a bit lonely and lost. And this really isn't helping! I am a 32 eyar old woman though, and should technically be on the downhill stage on the PhD so should just stop acting like a sulky teenager.
Ok. Am off to make tea, have a think and then get to work :0)
x J
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