Oops!

I forgot I hadn't posted today! I decided to start the day without turning on my laptop that's why - new resolution not to mess around all morning before settling down...

Today was ok though! I did some work... not as much as I hoped and the reading I did do was fairly unsatisfying (not hugely useful, not in the immediate sense anyway) and so feels arduous, pointless and annoying. But it has to be done or someone will say 'did you read this article? Why didn't you mention it?' So it has to be read just to a) namedrop or b)dismiss the view in a single sentence to show I have done some readin'. My Sup also sent me another name for someone I have to network with. ARG! Leave me alone man! I hate meeting strangers, on these horrible academic blind dates where I am supposed to have something to say and create the point for the meeting - only I don't/can't. This is my PhD bugbear. The challenge that makes it a PhD and not just another piece of work. It is not the reading, the understanding, or the writing. Not the reference checking, the loneliness or long hours. Nope, it is the networking and the vile, VILE empirical research where I have to go to India and ask impertinent, dumb questions to people who just don't deserve to be prodded over just so I can complete another degree. (I think I need to find some new methods that make me feel like less of a colonial, researcher ar*ehole to be quite honest. But what they are, I don't know! Maybe I shall use that as a smartarse excuse not to do any research!!! It is against my principles!!! Haha, bet they will love that.

Anyway, time to leave the comfort of parenthesis methinks...)

I am a bit of a grouch.

I did work though, then had an altercation with my surgery who have booked me in with a hospital for my baba that has a high neonatal death rate. Yes, Death Hospital so I told them in no uncertain terms that I was not going there and had never mentioned going there so why was I going there?! I honestly did not ever suspect how hard it is being pregnant and trying to work out what on earth is going on. Ever. Is like a big secret and no one will tell me when to expect scans etc and what they are and were they will be and why bla bla bla. Was quite distressed. So I did that for a while, then cried and DF made me some lovely tea, then I worked again and then, at five, did my new yoga DVD which was rather hard work. And then made toad in the hole and some mash and watched the Apprentice! And now am in bed. Yay!

Tomorrow I am reading a LOT - no pregnancy stuff tomorrow, oh no. Work, work work and no exercise either. Just chillin'. And readin'. Am terrifyingly close to the deadline.

No networking. 'Twill have to wait I say. Can only concentrate on one thing at a TIME, man.

x J