Post # 400!

Gosh what a week of landmarks for my witterings! Yes, this is post number 400. Oh. My. Word.

I have worked hard today! So hard, And have found out some things... and got quite confused about others that before I thought I was sound about. So a normal day then. I don't want to stop but my brain has stopped and I started flicking through lots of different chapters at once, trying to work out how best to spend my time and ended up getting stressed. I will just have to read all of it, and that is that! It is making me look forward to certain aspects of going back to India, and dread other parts. The set-up interviews really. I hate it. Observation and informal chats I love, even interviews if I know someone or have met them before and been friendly. But set-up interviews in remote villages with strangers? I HATE it. Am too shy, and just think it is rude.

I have been thinking and think I will go out in two months... for two weeks. I am so worried about the intense heat and the illness, I just do not want to risk Bean for stupid research. It is a shame you can't have flexible plane tickets really, cause if I am not ill and I am not dying from mossies and heat I would prob stay for a month. I dunno. I need to talk to my Sup about how best to go about the work really. I have to confess that I am not even sure what I want to find out. It changes all the time, but what I want to know is intrinsically linked to the data collection so need to find out pretty soon! Also, I have realised that although I want stories and informal interviews, with Kuna helping it is more likely going to have to be questionnaires or survey-style so I have more control over the research process... Which means quant data - and stats?! Oh no, oh no - just might as well retire now. I worked so hard for my stat module with SPSS during my MRes, I handed in a really good piece of work and got 44%. I know. I am awful, and i don't even know why. Me and numbers do NOT get on. I could get someone to help me, but I still wouldn't understand my own data. And people's lives and experiences cannot be in the form of STATISTICS! Oh no. Oh nonononono. SO I shan't. I just will not. We will work around it.

Tonight - making veggie chilli, eating it, going to pub.

Tomorrow - work! Read, read, read and at the end of it I hope to have a pretty clear outline of what I am doing and where I am going with the methods, ethics, etc.

Nearly time to write!

x J