bit pants

Hmm am being a bit pants and not doing any work.

I finally did the review for the journal paper, and have found us some flights to India on the 15 July, coming back on the 5 Aug. Are a bit more than I wanted to pay but still a bargain, and gives us about 6 weeks to sort ourselves out to go! Can't wait until they are booked. I am looking forward to going but dreading with work side of things (! I know! Am a rubbish researcher, hence not going into academia after all this) though not all of it - am still loking forward to the chatting and stuff, just not the bit where I travel on local transport to villages and walk around like a big ol' whitey researcher tw*t. I really hate it and don't know what to say. And hate that that I can't talk Tamil! Anyway, the rest will be cool. I shall make it up as I go... Is great to be going though because then India is not hanging over my head, it is real, and I can go and the COME BACK! And be able to just enjoy the second half of my pregnancy and get on with the work. So there we go, plus points to putting my pregnant self in a 35 degree, mossie-and-bacteria-infested (but beautfiful and lovely!) part of the world.

My Uni friend just found I am preggers and is making the PhD sound really scary and like I am briliant for being able to do my work for Dec (not likely but am trying!) and have a baby and stuff. This kind of convo really freaks me out because on the whole I am pretty chilled out about it all. Is just a piece of work?! Just get on with it! But is not, you know, life and death. It doesn't a genius so much as a love of your topic and a lot of commitment, I don't think. Hmm, maybe I don't take it seriously enough? Do I enjoy it too much? I do take a lot of time off. And I am quite the joker. But still my Sup is always pleased with me and he is hard to please! ANd I always get my work done on time! Hmmm. This, my friends, is why I don't hang out with PhD peeps. They make me stressed and start questioning myself!

Think I will just skive for the rest of the day. Finding it hard to get into work because still in celebration mode from yesterday! Tomorrow I shall blitz the reading for the theory section, and plan it for writing on Friday.

x J