Long couple of days...

So I am finally back, after two days of horribleness.

Had a Beanie scare yesterday so went to the docs around lunchtime and had a scan this morning. So yesterday I tried to work for a bit then gave up and watched tele, ate chicken (love chicken, was a good sign that all was ok with Beanie), and snoozed and today thankfully saw littl'in kicking and squirming away with a sound heartbeat and all their little bones in place (1cm loong thigh bone! ahhhhh!) - was great. I can't tell you how much I am completely and utterly in love with this little one already. DB and I just cannot imagine our lives without them, they are a concrete part of our immeidate future so it was a horrible moment thinking they may not be very well. BUT it was ok. And I am not determined not to take anything for granted with this pregnancy! Sod the exercise for now, it can wait!

Was at the appt from 8.30 to 11am, so went for celebration lunch (sausages and black pudding - it's the Bean I tell you! loves the meat!) and am now home, and completely shattered!

Not sure what to do with today, to be honest all I want to to is try and exorcise the stress hormones that have been dominating my body for the past 24 hours, read a little, sleep a little and just chill out and enjoy everything being ok. On the other hand I think we all know how much work I have to do and how little time!

So what would be best? What are the options...

a) don't work, be happy and potter for today and work at the weekend instead.
b) try and work.
c) work and potter at the same time.

Hmmm. Sod it. I am off for today. I was meant to have today off anyway, to celebrate being in the second trimester (! wooo!) but yesterday kind of overshadowed that and am now just, well, relieved. DB and I planned to go out and get a little outfit today for Bean and maybe some new clothes for the burgeoning mama, eat some food and go to the cinema maybe later, but in the end we really didn't feel like it so are just working and hanging around the house - glad for the safe, mundane banality of the everyday perhaps.

I think I feel kind of happy but mostly shellshocked and in a weird way just want to spend some chill-out time with Bean. Which is a bit strange considering I am *always*spending time with Bean! hehe. But I feel I have been a stressy ma and want to kind of chill and read and be peaceful and calm us both down.

I think I shall just do that. Sit in the garden and drink apple juice and water, read Harry Potter and banish guilt feelings. I shall come back tomorrow stronger and with a calm head to concentrate on the rather demanding topic of the humanitarian effects of climate change.

Ok!

x J