Am in recovery

Righty! Today was HARD! It was horrible and hard and am soooo glad it's over!

I sat down to work and just couldn't concentrate and ended up all upset and just felt like such a failure. I emailed my Sup to check which date he thought I should aim for, if it was this Monday and he said 'deadlines are for busting and this conf is no different' which is a really weird thing to say! I think he means 'get on with it'. So I am, well, finally, after sobbing to DB about how useless it all was and how I couldn't think for a second (serious pregnant brain). He cheered me up a treat and after some gloomy lunch I felt much better. Worked for a couple of hours, went for a walk and worked again until 5pm. Promised myself I would stop at 5 and have a bath and watch come dine with me (!) to relax, which I did and looked forward to all through the work. I think there is a lot to be said for rewards ;0) I have got 3,000 words done now, and about a 3rd of the paper written. I want to have it done by Fri evening, but can also work Saturday as my Mum isn't arriving until 4pm, then I can properly relax and we are going out for dinner to a *beautiful* restaurant. Three courses for me! Will have Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off then work again on Weds, tidying up and improving the chapter to send to my Sup for the following Monday. I will go and see him first week of Oct to talk about it, show how it is a new chapter, take along my new chapter plan and a plan of action for the next month too.

How I am going to make this writing into a 10 minute presentation I don't know.

Am so tired. Am going to bed early tonight, like about 8.30pm! Can't wait to snuggle up and just be at rest. Tomorrow I am working by 9.30, washed and breakfasted, will work until 1pm and have lunch, then work until 5pm. Work, work, work.

And you know what? When I got into it, no radio, no internet, just work, it was ok! Not worth all the fuss. I still don't know quite what I am writing, but am just plodding along, eating away at my word count and taking it bit-by-bit on my plan. It will be ok. I am assuming that tomorrow will be really hard again and I won't want to work and will forget how to do it and lose motivation. But I also know that I felt like that today and got through it 750 decent words up. Not a bad result.

x J

I am so hungry!