better... and worse

I worked yesterday! I worked for longer than I have for months; sitting in front of the tv definitely does the trick!

Dropped bean off at the childminders again this morning and I miss him terribly today. I have a feeling he won't enjoy it today as much as yesterday too, he was a bit reluctant to let me go. This makes me so sad. I wish there was any other way around it and that I didn't have to hand my baby over to someone else to play with and enjoy while I do other things. What can be as important as your child? I know in my heart that I have to get the PhD, I have come so far and worked so hard and to have it will be marvellous. I think of it sometimes in terms of being a role model for my children, that women can and do succeed. When I have it I can look after my children as much as I like (I hope, I think DB has plans to send me out to work. We'll see...) What is good is that I know I can't waste this time doing trivial things or going back to bed so I *have* to work - to justify it all. Even though I have a headache that is feeling suspiciously like it may turn into a migraine, I will work.

I miss him! Roll on 2.15 when I can go and get him :0)

x J