Tuesday, 22 February 2011

More Death

Oh my Grandma has passed away :0(  I am very sad. 

I haven't seen her for years due to a really messy family split and after my grandad died a few years ago she sort of lost the will a bit and was put in a home.  I used to write to her and since I had Beanie I haven't and I tell you, I couldn't feel worse about that.  Why didn't I write?  Because I was too narky to ask my Dad for her address (is his Mum).  What a crappy Granddaughter I am.  She was so beautiful to me when I was little.  I am really sad. 

I shan't go to her funeral - it really was a messy split.  Me and my Dad have barely spoken for the last erm, 17 years and only in the past two months have started a nearly friendly email relationship.  I did go to my Granddads funeral and it was absolutely hideous.  I was properly stared at and was clearly the black sheep of the family.  I felt left out and like I was intruding.  I wouldn't want Grandma's funeral to be tainted by my being there.  No, I shall do something for her by myself on that day.

Oh I feel so sad.

Workwise DB and Bean have gone to see his Great gran today - just left - so I should really get on with some work.  I had a grand plan to work for at least five hours today and nearly get this chapter finished.  But as usual I ended up cleaning up after Bean and didn't get started until they left.  I didn't tell DB about my Grandma, is nothing he can do when he is about to leave the house.

My Mum will be so very sad.  Grandma was like a proper Mum to her when she was with my Dad.

Oh.

x J

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