Settling in

The baby is with the childminder... gosh it is unnatural to leave him there! To walk away, alone. It is so lonely without him!

But anyway. I was there for half an hour until I felt comfortable that he was happy and settled, playing with the childminder's daughter and totally ignoring me :0) Came back, tidied a bit - only because I want to be able to spend time with bean when he gets back, rather than dumping him on the kitchen floor straight away to wash up :0( That would be rubbish and anyway, he wouldn't stand for it! So tidied, made a cup of tea and am sat in front of some lovely comforting morning television and plan to type up the last of my fieldwork 'data' (ug, how can people's life stories be trivialised as 'data'?!) in front of it. I realised yesterday that my dread with it was linked to utter boredom, and the distraction I kept seeking was part of this too. So I thought if I have a running monologue of tv on in the background I will be able to work better and not feel so suffocated and bored as when I am in my room. I think it will work. Last night I did some reading! Not much but still, it was out and I did some hurrah.

Will get on then, as much as I can when half of me is missing... I plan to take full advantage and when DB goes out to a meeting I think I will have a crafty fag outside with a cuppa tea to sort of cement my new found liberty. You see, if Bean (and DB!) is not here then I can do these incredibly naughty, totally taboo (in my mind) things. It is my secret. And that makes this whole enterprise much more fun.

x J