Ahhhh I seeeeeeee

It is Sunday!  I am working!  Sort of!  Only till 3 then am off swimming aye.

I saw my PhD friend the other day and she has cheered me up no end!

It turns out that:

• Other people in the dept that should have finished last year are still hanging around, and they have niether job nor child to fret about but are just being very slow.  Hurrah!
• Other people at the same stage as me are dithering more and more as it reaches the final stages of the course.  It is seemingly typical to be suffering fatigue and an increased inability to concentrate after all this time.
• Other people are keen on multi tasking (having small distractions!) while working/writing as just sitting with the laptop and work is pretty boring and claustrophobic. 
• Other people are working about 5 hours a day - less than at any time during their PhD so far.  And not every day.
• Other people are losing their memory too!  Seems that the work is now getting so big that other peeps are finding it hard to remember even something they read that morning so copious note taking/memory jogging notes are the norm.

SOOOOO I am not stupid or a freak or crap.  I am actually typical of a PhD student at this stage (Well, not necessarily typical but not alone anyway).  I thought I didn't work enough hours, had a poor memory, poor concentration and was easily distracted because I was a *mum* more than a student, but in fact these are all hallmarks of being a final year PhD student!  How life affirming it was to find that out.  And I am not rubbish because I like to work in front of the tv if I can, but in fact doing *any* work in *any* way is a bonus.

I believed several myths.  That final year students were:  wise; organised; very, very hard working (i.e. constantly working); did not procrastinate; did not use facebook in working hours; had strict working hours and immense discipline; did not need chocolate to bribe them to work; could concetrate for long periods of time; could proof read their own work superbly; did not forget important nuggets of work but of course, worked on them straight away.  And that they worked now more than ever.  And that writing up took a Very Long Time - but in fact it seems that is the reading and planning that takes up loads of time, writing can be done very quickly with the right preparation.  (Hurrah!  because every time I want to write something comes up that means i have to do more reading/planning and I thought I was dithering.  I think a PhD is largely about productive dithering ;0))

So the myths are, ahem, not true.  And I know this, because my PhD friend is one of the most perfectionist-y, hard working, conscientious people I know.  So if she is learning that having a life is as important as this course, and that we should just work when we can rather than beating ourselves up because we haven't worked four hours straight in a dark, silent room, written 6,000 words in the process and edited an old draft.  And read Foucault in the original french.

So there.  PLODDING is the key, just keep on and on and on in whatever way you can.  Don't compare youreself to others and definitely do not imagine that everyone else is doing their PhD more perfectly!  Hehe, I felt so much better on Friday night having spent the day letting off steam and getting all the gossip on my colleagues.  Oh AND she saw another of our friends who is due to submit at christmas and a) this girl was in a pub and b) enjoying herself and c) not having a breakdown and d) she is a perfectionist type too.  Which all gives me hope that I can complete and not in too much pain either...  we'll see ;0)

My PhD friend is due to complete a month before me - April next year.  So we should graduate at the same time which would be so cool.  And we both said that the next three months are crucial for our work and she said that she was aiming to have her first draft done for Jan as xmas was  not looking good any more.  Which is fab because that is the same as me!  I did panic that maybe my first draft was going to be too late, or was too late already but she said that she would be pleased to get it done with only a month after for edits (i have given myself three months).  So am not behind or anything!  and she said that considering I was aiming to complete on time, having had a baby and done a triathlon that that was pretty cool.  Which was very sweet and did make me feel like actually I was doing well, not just surviving.  And that is brilliant for the self esteem boost I really needed to keep going.  Am all recharged and ready to go.

So, my husband (!) and baby are out now and I am going to sneak downstairs and do some work in front of some silly tv and then swim at 3pm.

laters!
x J