Yo yo
Am back to work today! Am actually quite relieved to be able to get on with it. The wedding and honeymoon was brilliant, and I did relax although I did think about work a lot. but I think at this stage of one's PhD that is inevitable.
What is important is that I *did* have a break and so I feel that I am starting afresh, facing a big ol' ski slope that I have to navigate down, down, down and get some speed and some rythmn and finally see the finish line. And maybe pass it!
And, as Zalfa kindly pointed out, looking at the edits from my Sup last night I did realise that actually they were kind pointers about grammar rather than anything substantially awful about even phrasing, terminology or crossing outs and expletives related to my general incompetence :0) This has to be a good thing! So am taking the no news is good news approach and just getting on with it. I went and told DB while he was bathing Bean and he couldn't believe we hadn't thought of that before. Instead I was just being negative and in a bad frame of mind about the whole thing when we went away (I did some whining about it all on holiday lol). Am not better really, I am so terrified and overwhelmed but I am feeling better equipped to get on with it.
I have friends coming to stay around the 22nd and they will be in this room (poor things) so I want to get this chapter down for then... another 7,500 words... It is well planned though so should be ok. I really need to stick to deadlines now. In all honesty, and I hate admitting this, I don't think I will have my first draft done until the end of Jan now, instead of xmas as I hoped. But I will get it done. Another thing about completing this chapter is that I really don't like doing it! I am not enjoying writing up my empirical work; it is weak and I am not very good at it. My strength lies in more abstract analysis and theory so it just doesn't do it for me. And it is completely new I suppose - I have never really had to do my own research and then analyse it seriously as if it was any good. So maybe in that way it is a bit scary. I hadn't really thought of that.
At the mo I am going to go through my thesis synopsis and just write out obvious things that I forget, such as the fact it is apparently in two parts (hehe I had forgotton this) that address two different things, so I can remember what part this chapter addresses and stay on track - rather than treating it as an essay in its own right based around my research question. Focussed and tight. I am going to get out ALL my notes on reading and put them on the floor and take out anything relevant to this chapter - largely theoretical stuff - so I can refer to them quickly and easily. I am going to read through the intro again and get it IN my head and read any of the theory notes that I am a bit hazy on. Then I am going to do some writing! I expect the organising will take until lunchtime, then after lunch I shall write.
Tonight I am going to my swim club (eek am scared!) and don't get back till 8 and by the time I have eaten and got myself sorted it is usually pretty late and it knackers me out, so no work tonight. I do intend to work most evenings now though. It isn't a hardship really, sitting and watching tv doing nothing just makes me feel stressed about all the work I have to do!
x J
Am back to work today! Am actually quite relieved to be able to get on with it. The wedding and honeymoon was brilliant, and I did relax although I did think about work a lot. but I think at this stage of one's PhD that is inevitable.
What is important is that I *did* have a break and so I feel that I am starting afresh, facing a big ol' ski slope that I have to navigate down, down, down and get some speed and some rythmn and finally see the finish line. And maybe pass it!
And, as Zalfa kindly pointed out, looking at the edits from my Sup last night I did realise that actually they were kind pointers about grammar rather than anything substantially awful about even phrasing, terminology or crossing outs and expletives related to my general incompetence :0) This has to be a good thing! So am taking the no news is good news approach and just getting on with it. I went and told DB while he was bathing Bean and he couldn't believe we hadn't thought of that before. Instead I was just being negative and in a bad frame of mind about the whole thing when we went away (I did some whining about it all on holiday lol). Am not better really, I am so terrified and overwhelmed but I am feeling better equipped to get on with it.
I have friends coming to stay around the 22nd and they will be in this room (poor things) so I want to get this chapter down for then... another 7,500 words... It is well planned though so should be ok. I really need to stick to deadlines now. In all honesty, and I hate admitting this, I don't think I will have my first draft done until the end of Jan now, instead of xmas as I hoped. But I will get it done. Another thing about completing this chapter is that I really don't like doing it! I am not enjoying writing up my empirical work; it is weak and I am not very good at it. My strength lies in more abstract analysis and theory so it just doesn't do it for me. And it is completely new I suppose - I have never really had to do my own research and then analyse it seriously as if it was any good. So maybe in that way it is a bit scary. I hadn't really thought of that.
At the mo I am going to go through my thesis synopsis and just write out obvious things that I forget, such as the fact it is apparently in two parts (hehe I had forgotton this) that address two different things, so I can remember what part this chapter addresses and stay on track - rather than treating it as an essay in its own right based around my research question. Focussed and tight. I am going to get out ALL my notes on reading and put them on the floor and take out anything relevant to this chapter - largely theoretical stuff - so I can refer to them quickly and easily. I am going to read through the intro again and get it IN my head and read any of the theory notes that I am a bit hazy on. Then I am going to do some writing! I expect the organising will take until lunchtime, then after lunch I shall write.
Tonight I am going to my swim club (eek am scared!) and don't get back till 8 and by the time I have eaten and got myself sorted it is usually pretty late and it knackers me out, so no work tonight. I do intend to work most evenings now though. It isn't a hardship really, sitting and watching tv doing nothing just makes me feel stressed about all the work I have to do!
x J
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