Mother's Day!

Well, not officially but my ma is coming to stay today so lots of wine and chats will be had from 4pm! In the meantime I could not sleep until gone 2am - for no reason at all, I was knackered - and so got up late again today. I know, I am horrendously lazy. I am quite cross - in a lazy, not that bothered way.

The not botheredness worries me. How long will this last for?! I need to be scared! Motivated! Moved into action!

Well, that can only come from me. All I can do to help it is go to uni next week and feel like I have a 'place' and start organising a routine for my life with the exercise and volunteering. The refugee place called back so I hope to meet with them next week and start on the Friday! I think it will be a regular gig which will be nice. I have also thought that perhaps I am rallying against organising the life I had before India again where I spent every day on my own working on my PhD, had hardly any social life and would go for far too long without leaving the house. Trying to do that again as I have been has not been working - I need to have other things to do as well! So with the baby sitting and dog walking, exercise evenings and one day volunteering - plus research groups in uni - I should be fairly busy and sociable, and so in the time I am at home I can sit still and work on my PhD.

Plan Stan.

It is a horrible windy day today. I have to go out and buy some food - DB would normally do this seeing as he holds the pursestrings usually but I think he will relinquish his debit card so I can go and do the honours. Need a lot of wine, some cava, and lots of good food. Tis one's ma after all...

Got a facebook email from some of DBs friends who are gorgeous but we only ever get to see them at weddings and they happen to be in cornwall over easter - along with all DBs normal friends who are all on holidays from school (all of them are teachers!) so that sounds like an engagement party right there! My word. 'Tis the 12th April - when on earth am I going to spend any time at home working? Am basically booked until the 19 April when am back from London from a night with my maties. Just one night mind so shouldn't be soooo bad.

I think in a way it is telling that my PhD is supposed to be a job and alongside my job I have a Life. But the fact that I am stressed about having a life and not giving everything full time to my PhD shows an element of dedication at least. Even if it produces no actual work - the worry and concern is there and that's half the battle with motivation. So there, I do care after all.

Now to go and make up my ma's bed and vacuum and buy food and anything that isn't work.

Lordy.

x J