Am orf

Hmmm, I did a bit of reading but nothing worth mentioning really...

Am going to leave it now and just see it as one of those weeks - part of the messy, incoherent transition from one chapter to another. Is so hard to just jump straight into another chapter - they demand so much creativity, work and commitment each that is pyschologically impossible to just start a new one without a break. What counts as a break is hard too, I had last week off in the lake district so that should have been enough... but wasn't. This week I have sat at my desk from 9.30am to at least 4.30pm each day and done little other than planning and realising this chapter will not be as quick as I thought but needs proper commitment and time. I am off to see my folks on Sunday and then to Cornwall to see the in laws for the last time before popping and will be back on Thursday. I will do planning and organising on Friday and then work properly on Monday. It is annoying and makes me stressed that I am wasting time and have too much work to do for a week off... but then again maybe it is exactly what I need, to get away from it and come back to it having had a decent stretch of a few weeks to put the previous chapter to bed and start this new one. I can hardly remember what this chapter is on, I am still half in and out of my old one!

Is only because I have the deadline of my Maternity leave that I am stressy. But then again, I can only do what I can do - I say this time and time again and always, *always* get the work done. Not to the inital schedule, admittedly, but I reach the desired standard which is more important and anyway, I have never ever been reproached for tardiness.

Righty. Am going to try and believe all this so I can spend my weekend and week off without flogging myself with guilt. Bah, it'll be fine. I'll do a little plan for myself now to prove it ;0)

x J