Getting better... :0)

I did the presentation in front of DB and am feeling much *much* better about it all now.

I was so nervous, he suggested I do it and I said no, am feeling way too fragile today and figured it is too late to change anything now anyway. Then I thought about it and it made me so nervous I thought I really should do it, give it a go and see how it works out. So I did and bizarrely started crying after the intro, I felt so unsure and shy about it. Silly rabbit. Then got up some steam and carried on. I wasn't brilliant, I was quiet and a bit fidgety and I couldn't really practice looking up as I would just have to keep looking at him, all earnest like, and it would make me feel very silly, so sometimes I looked out of the window which just made me look a bit bored I suppose. Anyway, he said it was good and that even he (as in non-IR) managed to get the point of it and it didn't feel like 10 minutes. Very good, can't be too boring then. We talked about it a bit more and he gave me some nice feedback and reassured me that it was good and I should be pleased with it. I feel a lot better for this, and for having my panic attack when doing it in front of him and not waiting until the day.

Feel sooooooo much better. Like a cloud has lifted. It is surprising how important having someone listen to it and not laugh or throw things at me or look at me like I am mental is.

Roll on Saturday! ug.

x J