The Presentation...

It went really well! I did it! It is done! I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Literally got in the door about half an hour ago, to my lovely warm cosy house :0) So happy! The night before the presentation I went out to my friend's dinner party which was *amazing*, the food was delicious and it was just great to see all my friends - and show off my bump! Left at about 2am and got a taxi back to my mate's flat where I lay awake all night until 6am, when I managed to sleep until 7.20am and then lay awake until it was time to get up... It was horrific. During my hour long sleep I dreamt about being late for the presentation and having all my clothes in a locker with no key... typical stress dreams! Was so stressed out but felt better once I had left the house, on time, and was on my way. Found the venue easily and got there with 5 mins to spare, found the lecture theatre where the intro was being held and which would be where my presentation would be... it was a lovely theatre and quite small, so probably about 200 people at the entire conference? I realised if there are about 4 panels occuring at the same time then shan't be as many people as I feared. The panel was on a plinth, behind a lovely big desk and the presentations were done behind a big lecturn that came up to your shoulders! Nicely hidden. Couldn't have been more comforting really. So I started to breathe again... found my Sup straight away who was with a couple of peeps from the panel and my Uni and sat with them and just stayed in that lecture theatre until lunchtime... went for a walk to expel some nervous energy and made myself eat some sandwich and a biscuit (very proud of myself!) and then it was time! Sat up on the plinth and was ok - I didn't have the dry mouth or twitchy eye but was a bit shaky and cold (typical nerves). I was last up to do my reading and realised mine was so much more of a 'presentation', when the others' were all more like lectures, or sort of overviews of their papers. A lot of the others also seemed relatively unprepared, either rattling through their speeches or running wildly over time. Mine was bang on 10 minutes, didn't need to be told to hurry up, read it out slowly and clearly and maintained eye contact across the room. People seemed to be enjoying it - as in they weren't yawning/fiddling with things/talking - but listening, my colleagues (I know, but they are now I suppose!) were smiling and the people on my panel I could see out of the corner of my eye seemed very engaged. So I took heart from that and just got on with it. When I finished I went to sit down and one guy on my panel, an *amazing* academic who is incredibly famous in my field and who I am in awe of nodded his approval at me (whoopee!) and my Sup was beaming and said it was terrific! Terrific no less! He is not a complimenter, he says either bad things or that it is good, but doesn't gush or anything. I was so pleased! And the discussant chappie picked my paper out in particular while summing up and said that he really enjoyed it and that it was very good and succinct and some other lovely things that I can't remember. It couldn't have gone any better. I was asked a couple of questions and answered ok, not very well really - If I could have answered them straight away it would have been better but you get a few questions in a row then have to answer them as a panel one by one so can be a good 20 mins before you get to answer it, by which time I had overthought it and forgotton my answers so sort of fluffed and guffed. Afterwards I went to the coffee break to schmooze and a couple of other people said they really liked it too! Brilliant stuff. After that I stayed for the rest of the day and finally left at about 6.30 - I was falling asleep and completely starving so thought it best I nick off! Had a lovely evening feeling as light as a feather that it was all done, and watching x factor and eating chilli with my friends :0)

And now I am home! Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and happy! Am going to sleep well tonight and sleep in tomorrow, have a bath and slob around reading my book and eating! Am on holiday for the week now, DB is home tomorrow evening and we are off for our few days in the lakes on Tues am.

I just feel brilliant that i have done my first conference presentation, that I worked hard for it and it paid off, but also that it was a positive experience (not the compliments, that I could *do* it without vomiting!) and so next time it should be a bit easier. Maybe I'll sleep the night before the next one... I feel like I have done another initiation test for Uni and passed another test to be a grown up in my field (not that I want to be an academic!). Also, the mega famous guy on my panel is going to be my external examiner! My Sup is friends with him and asked him if he would do it and he said he would like to! We disagree on one point I made which is great, makes me realise that I have got to the stage now where I am not writing to be told that my work has merit or not, it is taken for granted that I can say what I want to say - it is what I am saying that is taken to task. I am taken seriously! Haha! What a joke!! ;0)

So all is good for now. Another milestone reached and passed and some time off is well deserved!

x J