Back to work!

I had a lovely week off and now am back to work! Had a lovely extra hour this morning of course, with the clocks going back yesterday, except I went to sleep very late last night so woke up at 9.30. Thought 'oh, it doesn't matter, it is actually 8.30,' and snuggled down for more snoozy then realised I had changed my clock so it really was coming up to 10am.

So far this morning then I have checked my banks and, as I suspected, I am skint. Have also skimmed through my paper for the conference (yuk, again, am sick of it) and submitted it for publication though it won't be accepted as am up against some Proper Names in the Field - nice try anyway ;0)... Turns out the original paper I wrote before the conference really was only for the eyes of other panellists and the chair. Now I have to write a proper paper for publication but luckily I have already done it so sent that off and now, really honestly now, I shall never look at it again. PHEW!

So today I am going through my fieldwork info! I have two weeks to write it up... I have about 3,000 words of this chapter written already, as info from local NGOs and papers etc. I now need to add my interview findings and bring the total up to 8,000 which should be doable. Although I only have two weeks I really just need to get down what I can, so I have at least a skeleton for this chapter that I can then fill out when *someone* - ANYONE - translates my interviews for me! Oh well, I have a year... I shall use the notes I have for now and my journal and own interviews to create an idea of what peeps think and feel about the aid effort. Is a strange coincidence that I am starting this on the same day we had packed up and travelled to london to go to India last year... I was so excited! Now I couldn't bear doing it all again - all that unpredictability and strangeness! But it was great at the time, we had so long! From now until April! What a trip. So much has changed since then. Doing fieldwork is so good for helping you grow up in your PhD I reckon. It really taught me about how unpredictable and uncontrollable doing research is, and how the info is beyond your making really. But also taught me to relax about this and just get on with it each day as best I could. I made some mistakes - settling in a city wasn't that useful, I was never going to fit in culturally, I volunteered in a position that gave nothing to my research for too long out of politeness and fear (much more gumption and assertion now! I would be out of there!), and didn't assert my goals in the volunteering org early or clearly enough - I was very polite and acted though I really was there to volunteer rather than get soemthing out of them back. I also believe that research trips cannot be compared. Yours will be *yours* and you can't compare how you did on it with other peeps. You have different strengths and weaknesses and these really come out in research. You also have enironmental constraints/opportunites that differ. Travelling and seeing the region was a brilliant idea, if I hadn't done that when I could I would have no idea of anything. Seeing really is believing, even on a whirlwind tour. I also had a lot of FUN, going out, meeting people and making friends, settling in to a routine and relaxing. I shouldn't have felt so guilty about that. Mainly though, it is hard bloody work as you can never leave the field until you leave the country. You are always looking around you for info and everyone you speak to could be a potential informant. It is *exhausting*! However much I whine about India I would not change the experience for the world. It was amazing, and in the end it worked! I did research!

So better have a look at it.

So angry with my RA. Still. How long will this simmer for?!

x J