Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Don't want to do it any more!

I am sulking.

I have had a really good day of work, have sorted out the chapter with my old edition and am now going through and editing it using sup's notes and queries.  But it is getting me down and I feel like just saying 'sod it!  It doesn't bloody matter anyway!'.  In real life I would never work on something this difficult or knotty, I am quite happy to just not get into bogs like this.  Not many people in real life, tbh, get in knots like this anyway!  I am not a details person.  I am very much a 'that'll do!' person.  If it looks a bit knackered I just think 'shabby chic', and anyway, am just not into perfectionist stuff, I like mess.

I am a tidy person tho, and used to be one hell of a perfectionist.  Am not so much any more, I've mellowed with old age and parenthood :) 

Anyway.  Sorting this out is driving me nuts.  I say something, Sup picks me up on it (how dare he) and now I am in a pickle trying to sort out what I meant/didn't mean as clearly actually no literature backs me up.  And then I think, sod it, the thesis is shit!  And I can't delete everything I don't like.  Or can I?  Maybe if this section is irreconcilable with Sup's comments I should a) just delete it; b) change it to say what sup thinks; or c) try and stick to my guns and fail.  Maybe I am just being a bit militant about my stance and should just chill out a bit...  hmm.

And tomorrow, horror of horrors, I get the WHOLE thesis back in the post :(  Oh dear.  If I am so confuddled with this one chapter I cannot imagine the hell that is in that parcel.

Crikey.  Am actually glad I have to go and get Bean as I will get a nice walk to give me some perspective and maybe even help me work this knot out.  And then I will make us a nice dins and play fire engines and come back to work when DB gets home.

Am not sure whether I will get this done for tomorrow, but I really hope to.  Am sure it will still be crap though :(  Oh well, I can but soldier on.

x J

 

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