How such a lovely planned day could be a shit one I don't know, but it has been!
I went to my appt and had a HUGE row with DB about working over the weekend and turned into a 'you don't care about my career' (him) bla bla argument which I really resent seeing as I am ONLY working super hard *right now*. Is complicated and tedious but generally it seems my PhD is becoming the Other Person in our relationship. It bugs the shit out of me because I literally only have a few days left of this really hard work and instead of support I am being bollocked which is ridiculously unhelpful.
I dunno, because I am doing the work I get how hard it is. But if you aren't doing a PhD I guess it must just seem like a really selfish waste of time.
Anyway, this put me in a really shitty mood. Then I cried all over the dr at the appt about my miscarriages and worry for this baby, then came home and tried to work!
I did manage to work; I took the lit from an old chapter and stuck it into one of my contentions chapters which is good, but I do now have to go through it and make sure it makes sense and contributes to the chapter. am sure i saw some shit in there too that needs tidying up, which is disappointing as I have already edited this chapter... I need to be aware of overworking it though and getting all perfectionist and never handing it in!
I can't work now, am looking after beanio but when he is bathed and bedded I will sort out that chapter until 8pm then I shall watch tv and try to relax before tomorrow. Then tomorrow DB is looking after bean and i basically have to get as much done as I can before the weekend as I have been told I am not likely to have any time to work then as he needs to work. grrr. I will work in the evenings when he is doing Bean's bedtime and really try and relax in the day. I don't know how I will do that, am quite a shite half-assed parent at the mo as I am so distracted with work. I just want it done!
x J
I went to my appt and had a HUGE row with DB about working over the weekend and turned into a 'you don't care about my career' (him) bla bla argument which I really resent seeing as I am ONLY working super hard *right now*. Is complicated and tedious but generally it seems my PhD is becoming the Other Person in our relationship. It bugs the shit out of me because I literally only have a few days left of this really hard work and instead of support I am being bollocked which is ridiculously unhelpful.
I dunno, because I am doing the work I get how hard it is. But if you aren't doing a PhD I guess it must just seem like a really selfish waste of time.
Anyway, this put me in a really shitty mood. Then I cried all over the dr at the appt about my miscarriages and worry for this baby, then came home and tried to work!
I did manage to work; I took the lit from an old chapter and stuck it into one of my contentions chapters which is good, but I do now have to go through it and make sure it makes sense and contributes to the chapter. am sure i saw some shit in there too that needs tidying up, which is disappointing as I have already edited this chapter... I need to be aware of overworking it though and getting all perfectionist and never handing it in!
I can't work now, am looking after beanio but when he is bathed and bedded I will sort out that chapter until 8pm then I shall watch tv and try to relax before tomorrow. Then tomorrow DB is looking after bean and i basically have to get as much done as I can before the weekend as I have been told I am not likely to have any time to work then as he needs to work. grrr. I will work in the evenings when he is doing Bean's bedtime and really try and relax in the day. I don't know how I will do that, am quite a shite half-assed parent at the mo as I am so distracted with work. I just want it done!
x J
2 comments:
Jayney,
I've just read your last few posts, well done, you are nearly there and your comments are inspiring. Don't be upset today, be kind to yourself, I feel your pain, but as they say when you are going through hell....keep going.
Shouting for you here.....
Mimi
aw mimi, thanks :)
Your kind thoughts have brought a tear to my eye!
All the best to you
x J
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