Arf I am stressed again and doing my usual thing of putting my head firmly in the sand!
I have heard from Uni and I will have to hand in my work on the 17th dec for binding as the final date I can hand in to them before the 31 dec is the 20 dec.
Now, this is not fair and my Sup is on the case, but he is saying I should be able to get it bound somewhere else and hand in on the 31st (if someone is there). However, for me this will mean spending xmas rushing around the city near where i live trying to find someone reputable to bind it, and being very worried if they do a shite job. It also means trying to do this over xmas, and even though the area I live in is very muslim and so not many peeps will be off for religious reasons, bank holidays do still apply.
The thought of running about town when I could be at home with my family eating chocolate does not appeal. Nor does checking references on xmas day. having it done for xmas is really motivating me. Even though I am cross I have had my time cut down, actually maybe it is a gift and says 'right missus! Get on with it - final slog now, just get it done. Work night and day for the end is in sight!'. I do feel I can do it... Handing it in with time to relax and make paper chains with Bean would be delicious.
My principal concern is the fact Sup is so keen to have my time extended, even though I have said to him maybe I don't mind handing in early anyway. I am interpreting this as worry on his part I won't be able to do anything decent in the time I have left. This worry (possibly imagined) is making me fret and giving me writer's block. Or editors block as am editing not writing right now :)
However, I have also reached a sticky point with my work and have to find a few thousand words for this chapter as I have NONE in my old files that I can use. Boo. Now I have cut it up this section does look pretty meagre and like it could do with beefing up, which is good, but I do not want to do it ;0) Maybe I am flapping instead of working.
Anyway. whatever happens I must work, and I must work now! I only have 30 mins before I have to go and get Bean and I am very tense because I loathe, loathe, loathe picking him up when I am distracted and fretting about work. I am a terrible mum in this state, I am not cuddly, I am tense and I keep sloping off to have private chats with myself when he wants me to talk to him and be silly. I do not feel silly. Arf.
If I could I would just work and work and work. And not get much done in this mood probably, but feel productive simply by being 'available'. Not that I am dissing time spent with my son - doing both, but well, would be super :) Unfortunately I am doing bath and bed time tonight as DH is out so eek! Will probably try and sit down for a bit after bean is asleep.
In fact, I am sure having some time away for a walk and to play with Beanie will help clear my brain and get me ready for some more work later (even if it is only 30 mins), and tomorrow. I still have all day tomorrow. It'll be ok. I'll organise stuff now, look for useful info etc. Then I might relax...
Scared brain.
x J
I have heard from Uni and I will have to hand in my work on the 17th dec for binding as the final date I can hand in to them before the 31 dec is the 20 dec.
Now, this is not fair and my Sup is on the case, but he is saying I should be able to get it bound somewhere else and hand in on the 31st (if someone is there). However, for me this will mean spending xmas rushing around the city near where i live trying to find someone reputable to bind it, and being very worried if they do a shite job. It also means trying to do this over xmas, and even though the area I live in is very muslim and so not many peeps will be off for religious reasons, bank holidays do still apply.
The thought of running about town when I could be at home with my family eating chocolate does not appeal. Nor does checking references on xmas day. having it done for xmas is really motivating me. Even though I am cross I have had my time cut down, actually maybe it is a gift and says 'right missus! Get on with it - final slog now, just get it done. Work night and day for the end is in sight!'. I do feel I can do it... Handing it in with time to relax and make paper chains with Bean would be delicious.
My principal concern is the fact Sup is so keen to have my time extended, even though I have said to him maybe I don't mind handing in early anyway. I am interpreting this as worry on his part I won't be able to do anything decent in the time I have left. This worry (possibly imagined) is making me fret and giving me writer's block. Or editors block as am editing not writing right now :)
However, I have also reached a sticky point with my work and have to find a few thousand words for this chapter as I have NONE in my old files that I can use. Boo. Now I have cut it up this section does look pretty meagre and like it could do with beefing up, which is good, but I do not want to do it ;0) Maybe I am flapping instead of working.
Anyway. whatever happens I must work, and I must work now! I only have 30 mins before I have to go and get Bean and I am very tense because I loathe, loathe, loathe picking him up when I am distracted and fretting about work. I am a terrible mum in this state, I am not cuddly, I am tense and I keep sloping off to have private chats with myself when he wants me to talk to him and be silly. I do not feel silly. Arf.
If I could I would just work and work and work. And not get much done in this mood probably, but feel productive simply by being 'available'. Not that I am dissing time spent with my son - doing both, but well, would be super :) Unfortunately I am doing bath and bed time tonight as DH is out so eek! Will probably try and sit down for a bit after bean is asleep.
In fact, I am sure having some time away for a walk and to play with Beanie will help clear my brain and get me ready for some more work later (even if it is only 30 mins), and tomorrow. I still have all day tomorrow. It'll be ok. I'll organise stuff now, look for useful info etc. Then I might relax...
Scared brain.
x J
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