Born free, as free as the wind blooooooows...

Yay it's the end of the day! I am so pleased with today as well. This avo I looked through a couple of books and realised that they may be useful at some point but I shouldn't read them now as it isn't that important. I have three books that I should read really and then I will get on with Chapter Four. That chapter needs to be done by the 12 July... It won't be at all. Ok, lets say the 20 July. That is my total deadline, anything I still have to complete at that stage is going to have to wait until I get back from TN next year. That is quite a motivator because I really would hate to come back to a half-written jumble and have to start the analysis again from scratch. THEN I can get on with sorting out my methodology. I am really looking forward to that, I will feel like I am on the homeward stretch to going away. Can't wait!

Leaving to go away is playing on my mind like crazy. I am so worried about packing up the house and all our belongings and finding and affording storage for 6 months. I don't know where to start. DB keeps reassuring me and saying that at least we don't have to 'unpack', clean and organise at the other end but he doesn't realise how much organising is going to have to go into packing. Normally you just whack it into a van, have an argument, get lost, unpack it, eat a takeaway and set up to sleep among boxes for a few weeks. Ta da! House successfully moved. But with this it is like the life laundry, nothing is going to be kept that is nonsense tat so packing will need to be very focused. I know this, and I also know the state of the garage. DB is a hoarder so we have a lot of stuff. I am so anxious about all the arguments we are going to have. I always think I we cannot possibly love each other when we move house, we bicker and argue and drive each other crazy. One issue I sense brewing is my books and his tat. He has tat - he has like, a sega games machine and pedals for it and stuff. He never uses it. In fact he hasn't even taken it out of the carrier bag it was put in at the car-boot he bought it at 3 years ago. He also has video tapes, tons of them, and we don't even have a video recorder. There is all sorts of this rubbish and he said the other night in front of my friends that he will sort this out if I have a cull of my books. I have around 800 books granted, but they are my loves and in two bookshelves, minding their own business. I am good as well, I re-read books. And I would throw some away (charity shop) but some are presents and I feel bad about that. And some I haven't read but that is because I haven't been in the right mood for them. Some I will get rid of, but really, it will end up being about 10. This is going to be an issue I can feel it in my bones. I cannot see this as a fair swap - unless I kept them all in bags in the garage too.

Then there is the problem of what to take... I just assumed we would just take our big ol' backpacks and that would be that. And part of that is right: we are just taking our backpacks. But there is NO way on this planet that 'that will be that'. What about my notes and books?!! What about my LIFE?!! What about my PhD stuff? (Don't ask me what it is, all I know is that to function normally I need to be in my office at home which is FULL of stuff - newspaper articles, books, magazines etc. Academic paraphernalia I can glean info from immediately). How do I choose what to leave behind?! Photos for example... Xmas bits... I dunno, just silly stuff that you can't be on the other side of the world when you unpack and go 'ah, sugar, I forgot so-and-so'... I am quite terrible as well because I pack for any eventuality when I am just going to spain for a week. I will be ruthless. Ruthless!

*teeth chattering in fear*

Also, I am stupidly worried about clothes. I don't have any summer clothes, like trousers and that and don't have any money to go and buy any (is all toasty in TN. And wet for a good part. Yay). Maybe there will be a sale in August or Sept and I can stock-up then... I am going to be in rural, conservative areas and vest-tops would be considered risque I reckon. But who knows?! Such is the mystery of exotic travel. Only it isn't that exotic, I am just a fretful fool. (I wrote fretfool then to start with. hehe) Mainly foolish because it would be ridiculous to think I shan't be able to buy western style clothes there, but I pack for any eventuality remember?! What if they don't?! WHAT IF. Yeah, see, you're worried now too.

So they, obviously apart from getting a passport, visa, jabs and plane ticket, are my moving concerns.

I did learn more lang this avo though! Consolidated what I learnt the other night and also recognised more sounds this time. Oooooh! The thing about learning a language is that it has immediate satisfaction. Total academic antithesis to a PhD.

I feel better for having got that off my chest. I try to talk to DB about my fears but he just looks at me with concerned pity and tells me it will be fine, practically patting me on the head at the same time. This is because I worry a lot and he doesn't.

Am hunker-munker.

Ah, plan for tomorrow:

*exercise! Definitely.
*Read 1.5 books. No dawdling over lovely sentences/stories about CIA brainwashing in the 50s.
*Go through lang learned today.

So much to do! So little time! Must watch some tv and make it all go away...

x J