Ok, ok so it's Friday night and I am in watching rubbish tele on my todd. Isn't this what PhD life is too often about?! Having got that out of the way, oh my WORD I seem to have stumbled upon 'Tonight', a (twice?) weekly programme of ostensibly sound journalistic credentials (hosted by an famous ex-news anchor) which is about - get this - Jonathan Maitland, a man of around 50, with a camcorder, at home with his wife, trying out-of-date food to see if it makes him ill... Yes, you read it right. Surely this used to be called jackass?! What is the world coming to. And people watch this pointless rubbish and slag off Big Brother. At least BB is open about its trashy, pointless content.
Any Friday the 13th stories anyone?! We weren't allowed to travel back from Spain today because DB is scared of Friday the 13th... Fair enough - the flight prices showed this is still widespread. Whatever though, yesterday when we flew back the plane we were on started making this juddering noise, like it was starting to stall. I am not the best flyer and got this evil feeling of dread through my whole body. My hands shook, my breath got shorter and I was cold. I was imagining falling out of the sky, how long I would have (too long) to compute what was happening and to say goodbye to DB. I was terrified. Juddering away it was. Then it went away, nothing else happened and I tried to calm down. The air hostess lets us know we are going to land soon and explained that if we hear this noise again not to worry, it's the type of engine that particular jet has. I was like, WHAT?! You say what lady?! I envisage a situation thus: there I am, engineer extraordinaire, designing and making a jet engine for commercial use by mostly hearing-able human beings. It is a lovely design and works except it does seem to make a bit of a juddering noise, even shaking a little bit with resonance at a particular speed. Well when it's slowing down actually. 'Oh well', I think! No worries! Jet2 come along and try out the engine. 'Well', they say, 'if you are a customer on a plane, what would be your primary fear?' 'Hmmmmmmm...' they say, 'Not the juddering noise or the shaking' mailto:?!$@*^
In conclusion to 'tonight', Jonathon is quite fit and probably able to eat food that is out of date more than other, more vulnerable people can: i.e. children, the elderly and pregnant ladies (why is it always 'ladies'? Why not pregnant men? haha.) So basically, don't risk it. Right on! Yeah! Go British Journalism!
Next week: a man is gambling with his OWN money (emphasis in original) to see if he can win on the property developing game (we are in a property crisis to match the food crisis and credit crunch. Take to your bunkers everyone! Leave the out-of-date tins though...) According to the clip, he struggles. What next? 'This man, (insert journalist name here), takes his own dog and camcorder to dog-talking school' Quote from advert, 'journalist' looking straight at camera, serious voice: 'It doesn't seem to be working. He has yet to speak.'
x J
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment