Washout

Today is a washout. I haven't even opened my book. I have flitted from website to website and played scrabulous. I blame it on DB who went to the shop with an order of crisps (salt and vinegar walkers or hula-hoops please) and something hangover-y like scotch egg/nice sarnie/sausage roll: picnic food. Basically, I don't want to make anything or see anything healthy. And what did he come back with? A microwave burger for him (bleugh) and spinach, mushrooms, broccoli, salad, bla bla bla for me. Not even crisps! How can he forget the crisps?! Sweet cruelty of life. So I am living off fresh coffee because I am so lazy I won't make myself anything or go to the shop myself to get some treats. If I had treats I am sure I could bribe myself into working with them: 'half an hour of reading = crispies'... Actually it isn't a bad thing as eating bad food is not (by definition) very good and this is actually why I haven't gone to the shop myself. I will survive without munchies. And I am going to cook a marvellous stir fry for dinner, with lots and lots of veggies, brown rice (one step too far? Hmm. White rice) and am not sure whether to put eggie in the mix or have it as a fried egg on top, a la Indonesia (yes, I have been there. Managed to slip that in nicely eh?!) Bit of soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic... yumlicious.

What annoys the pants off me is that DB manages to work come rain or shine, come food poisoning or red wine hangover. He is so dedicated and motivated. Gets right up my nose. If I was on my own I would probably be in my jammies watching BB, eating yoghurt with my finger and contemplating a visit to the chippie. Instead, I have a house full of leafy veg and a guardian who makes me feel guilty by virtue of his goodness. So I have been at my desk for most of the day (when not wandering around the house, lonely as a cloud...), not working. Having to put up with Nihal on radio one offending my ears with his crashingly dull, nonsensical jibber-jabber. Still, am nearly there. I can touch the book. I will work! I have decided.

I didn't mention about the squirrel that tried to break in to my kitchen window the other day while I was making Banoffi pie. I cannot believe I forgot to tell this story. So there I am, with mucky paws and chocolate shavings all over the kitchen, reading the recipe on my laptop. I was stood facing the kitchen window, about two foot away from it, when there is this sharp and piercing scratching noise like out of a horror film and a darkening of the window. I look up and there is the squirrel (Terry; quite a regular in the garden) clinging on to the window pane, face pressed up to the window, sniffing away, eyes staring and poppy and very determined. I was terrified, really scared. The shrieking noise was his claws scraping down the window as he was trying to hold on and get in. And he was making these unnatural jerky movements as his little paw lost its grip and he pulled it up to dig into the glass again. Like an evil squirrel automaton. It was awful! I was stunned and just stood there not moving. He fell off soon after and scampered off thank goodness. DB reckons he wanted the nuts in my nutty biscuit-base! Very surreal.

Last story: I got a credit card statement this morning that was unpleasant reading. I had been charged dear reader, charged. I am too old and good for this nonsense so gave them a call. I HATE calling the bank more than I hate calling in general. And I informed them that with the £30 refund on my card and my top-up payment this is over the minimum amount you requested so give me back my money! And they said to me that refunds don't count as 'payment'. I am confused by this! Surely it is money into my account, it contributes to my overall statement of credit and therefore should be part of the payment. But no. Got my charge refunded anywho but thought I would mention it. Don't rely on it folks!

Righty I'm off. Well, actually I am not going anywhere. I shall read though. I will. I too am a good person.

x J