Groucho

Hey y'all

Today, I have to confess, I am a grouch. I am a smile-free zone. My emotional state = flat to point of sociopathy. Am not in a bad mood though. Just grouchy.

However, regardless of that fact, I have had rather a good day! I finished a book this morning (only needed the intro and conclusion), have put another aside for a rainy day (probably won't read it) and so am down to my last three books. And of those I am not sure I need a lot of one of them. So my plan tomorrow is to blitz them. BUT they are really interesting and about a concept I haven't read much about but am totally fascinated by soooo... I may take them into Monday. So I hope to be starting on Chapter four's work on Tuesday. Cool. I went to the gym too, have eaten well and spent this afternoon looking through a book I may/may not need and mostly, actually, reading about TN on tinternet. I am all excited about the adventure side of it all again now. I know what visa I will need as well and have pretty much worked out where we will stay when we get there. Hurray! I am a traveller-guesthouse type of person, totally the oppostie to my ma who is a 5* Sheraton hotel kind of person. Luckily there is one of those with one of the best restaurants in the country, where food and beer and live music costs £8 a head. Woooo! Our currency goes a long way... When we go I am taking two weeks off before I start my volunteer position and start researching to acclimatise a bit and ease myself into the culture shock! Learn some language, get over the inevitable food poisoning, do a bit of travelling around. Yay! Reading around about stuff like that takes the edge off the scariness and logistical confuddles it gives me!

I am super-forgetful today I have noticed. I stopped work early actually because of this, I wasn't taking anything in any more and would do it twice as fast tomorrow (hopefully will get some sleep tonight!)

It has been raining all day which has suited my mood most delectably. I would have to say, and this proves what a general grouch I am, that autumn is my favourite month. I love the darkening nights, and the red leaves, and how the weather is so tangible and expressive. I love to go to European cities in September/October (ooh get me! It is very cheap to go to the continent from here and it's DB's Birthday in Oct...) I have been to Prague and Paris; they were beautiful. The rivers had steely, moody hues and the light when the sun is dimming would be a gorgeous yellow/sepia ochre. Ah... And being able to sit outside for one drink before you get too cold. The slight nip in the air. The streetlights coming on as people head home from work to their cosy, tiny apartments, or hang around a bratwurst stand, or duck into a busy bar to escape the rain... Dark, snuggly mornings. Hot breakfasts and coffee... I love it! I would hate to live somewhere permanently sunny. Somewhere that doesn't have weather. That's why we Brits talk about the weather all the time - we love it! It is so interesting! Imagine no talk about the weather... I can't!

Mmmm, tonight... I have told DB that I would do some work for him to earn some pennies for my passport... He would lend me the money but I don't like that if I can't pay it off quickly. However, the work is very, very boring. It's also another thing to avoid/feel guilty about. This is a pain. Maybe I shall only do it on the weekend. But then I would have no time off! And I have weekends to treasure and not be PhD-girl 24/7. Arg. What a fix. I thought an hour a night would be cool but to be honest, if I don't want to be doing PhD work, I certainly don't want to be doing rubbish boring work.

See? I am a grouch. I shall slope off and grumble elsewhere. If you stuck this post out this long, I salute you!

x J