Big ol' mess

I apologise for my frankness but arg, today I am a big walking mess of snot. My head is full to bursting, my ears hurt and my throat is scratchy and tickly. Yes, I have A Cold. I went downstairs this morning (I know! It's so early! nuts) and described the above symptoms to DB who, in a serious voice, declared that it sounded like I had what he had a little while ago when he too suffered a blocked-up nose and sore ears. Yes, Darling Boy, you are right, I think I do. I have, dare I diagnose it,

A Common Cold!

I can sense the hushed intake of breath and clutching of chests and inevitable wailing that this diagnosis will cause. Or maybe not, maybe that was just DB upon waking when he had this most dreadful of afflictions. Boys eh?!! (Apologies to those boys who may read this blog who aren't so sensitive to malady and near-death experiences. Although if you are outraged by this nasty aspersion on the male character you are, probably, most likely to an offender. Take heed...)

So I am up and at 'em, being a brave soldier. I do find that whenever someone else has a cold, even if you are the kind of person who gets a lot of colds, it is impossible to really empathise. Like childbirth, you know it was a bad experience but the actual visceral horror of it was neatly wiped out of your memory. Well, maybe not quite like the 'visceral horror' part of childbirth (unless you are poor DB). It is, however, like childbirth in principle: we all have colds but are rubbish at sympathising when others have them because we think 'It's just a cold! Get over it dude'. When really, colds are horrible, horrible things and people with colds should be treated like special beings. I have decreed it so.

I think I know where I got it from as well. I went swimming at the public pool twice last week. Twice. And once directly after the primary school kiddies. They were there, in the changing room when I went in. I bet one of those little creatures gave it me. I shall be aware in future of these lurgy-carriers. Nasty hobbitses.

So, what shall I do today?! I shall read academic articles that will help provide a macro level analytical context for this chapter of course! I only have today and tomorrow to get through the rest of my reading. It will never happen, principally because I forgot that for some of the reading I have to be performing some lengthy critical discourse analysis. But I can still get a lot of the way through it and be set in some way for Monday.

I am so annoyed I have this cold. It better go away for this weekend. The idea of sashaying around London in some fantastic wedges and skinny jeans whose pockets are a-bulging with snotty tissues just isn't doing it for me.

Well, had better go and let DB know that I have been officially decreed a 'special being' due to my cold status...

Laters

x J