Exhausted?!

Hey y'all

I am sooooooo tired! I just realised it when I was being a dope staring out of the window again (I mention how I stare out of the window a lot. Sadly, the view is nonsense - the side of the neighbour's house and the sky. And there's Winnie and Fred my magpie friends who flirt on the opposite roof when they haven't hurtfully defected to my neighbour-but-one's garden...)

I have worked out this chapter and given it its bones of a structure and am literally going through my notes padding it out. This is ace but pretty boring; I have the radio on. Then I will need to analyse these writings, which I have done really but will need to bring it up to scratch. Then I will need to do macro-level analysis and tie it in to the whole PhD... then it is finished! Hmmm. I reckon, I reckon, I will be finished... hmmm... At the end of the first week in August. Is that three weeks late? That will leave me with 6 weeks to do my methodology. That will have to do I say. This chapter will be done well then and won't need lots of revising. May as well do it properly now and save a whole load of pain later.

I think working that out has flooded my body with relief and the adrenaline of anger and concentration that was sustaining me has departed, leaving me as little use other than as a deflated, sleepy, wine receptacle. But there will be no wine, oh-no, but there may be some fatty food in the offing instead.

Today I have also managed to coerce my dept secretary into posting my allowance form to the ESRC peeps at uni in the internal post and have posted my own little letter of appeal, so that has saved me a trip into uni. I have also posted a snotgram to one of my banks, we are having a major falling out and they are taking AGES to sort it out. Is no fighting involved - they are in the wrong, changing my account details on the whimsy of some stranger amongst other oddities - is just taking time, and time, and time. I am finding it stressful as I am not one to court confrontation by nature and especially not with giant banks who have my money. Quite honestly I just want them to look into it, apologise, send me enough money to get the heck out of their cruddy, scary system and be done with the whole thing. I can dream I suppose. That letter took HOURS and all my concentration. Then some nice gardeners came whom I wasn't expecting... Then I emailed uni to ask about a risk assessment form and got a wee rapping on the knuckles for not having filled it in with the school Sec (now on leave allllll summer. Skiver) when I did my insurance form... And had to draught an email back admitting that I haven't actually filled in an insurance form either. This could work in my favour, not having been in the vicinity of any forms of any type, or against my favour, making poor Sec lady frustrated with another disorganised PhD student...

Now I am doing this chapter and plodding along - not unhappily no no, can't complain - just waiting for someone to distract me... DYING for someone to distract me. There is a logistical problem with this wish though, being on my own as I am. The sun is out too and my office is a-boiling! Is like summer outside and everything.

I have to pack to go away for yonks later. Boring. Hmmph. My back hurts a bit from sitting here all day every day. Poor me.

I bought two travel books for TN yesterday! wooo! How exciting. Also, I made contact with my first TN person and they invited me to their house when I get there. How sweet! DB thinks they are a Pervy Old Man. He is just jealous because I am such a fabulous networker and already have friends in TN and he? Well he has a car to sell. Which he can't sell because - and beware, this is a sad story - he cleaned it out which took HOURS because it was a total hole, vacuumed it and everything all ready for selling. Then he went to the garage to clean it and the carwash machine whacked into the back of the car and broke off the spoiler!!! Oh NO! DB was furious but they made him fill out loads of forms and said really they wouldn't be liable and there are signs everywhere saying this. DB was fuming by now, as I would be. Not liable! It was YOUR machine that broke it?!! ARGGGG. Corporate madness. Apparently he had to wheedle to get his fiver back he paid for the privilege. He has now taken it to another garage to get it stuck back on for £50. It's comedy. Tragic, desperate, infuriating comedy.

But we are on the wagon so no boozy. Though today, of all days, we could do with some alcohol and a good chinwag. Could even sit outside! how lovely!

But no.

Am going to try and do some more work. Or wander round the house or something.

Ah! Db ringing! I wonder why?!!

NOOOOOOOOOO! DB just rang in Morrisons supermarket and didn't mention wine. Not at all. he is on another planet to me, a sober, well-behaved planet.

Oh dear.

x J