So far

Today has been a slow day but I have made some progress. I have concluded that indeed this chapter needs to be swapped with the one I have just finished. And so again I am working on Chapter Five... hehe. I read through the chapter I just wrote and this one will knit to it so much more cleanly if I have it afterwards as it can piggyback on some of the ideas and arguments in it; it will also be able to flesh them out and build on them which is great. And I shan't waste time repeating myself.

I have spent quite a bit of today working that out and re-reading ch. 5 (as was) and noting down my main arguments and findings that will be of use for this chapter. Other than that I have been in a bit of a pickle, been on the internet (despite my resolution not to) and, for no real reason, feeling rather despondant about the whole thing. Tomorrow will be better I am sure of it.

What is fantastic, and what I should be really pleased about but for some reason am rather blase about, is that this chapter does actually have a shape and predictability about it now - I know where I am going with it and trust my plan and ideas. This is great. I also know better how it fits into the whole thesis and how it fits with the 'political' voice. This is all good work and I should be pleased. I wonder if I am being indifferent because it isn't the progress I am 'meant' to have made these past few days. Which is probably evidence more of me being hard on myself than anything else. I am going to leave my work now. I have worked every day since Fri as well and still have two more days ahead before a day off. I think this is annoying me too. And I am learning lang in the evenings, and always thinking about my PhD in general and the methodology. And trying to pre-empt what it will be like in TN. And waiting to hear from the vol. org about whether nov-feb is ok for me to work with them. (Is very VERY important). I wonder if I am just a bit of a stresshead at the mo and not giving myself any space to chill out and put the PhD/my 'PhD-life' aside for a bit and live a different life (my life?!) in the gaps. Quizas. This evening I will try and switch off.

Oh, I emailed my sup today just to let him know what was going on as the chapter is late (for the deadline I gave myself). I don't really mind what he emails back - if he says cool, then this is, obviously, cool; if he says 'Jayney! I need that chapter NOW!' (he won't - it is uni/sup holiday time and I think that the fact I am able and actually writing this chapter now is a Good Thing that he is pleased about) then this will be a kick up the bum that I would perhaps be grateful for!

I will go and slack off now and then come back tomorrow hopefully much more refreshed and raring to go. I know what I need to do next and it isn't hard work so that's nice to know.

Until tomorrow dear friends...

x J