Day's End

No, no, I haven't been working until now... I have worked today though! Sooooo much to do but I feel like I am pecking away at it. I hope. Tomorrow I will have to just keep thinking that it is the last day before the weekend - which I am taking off - and so I hope to convince myself to work very, very hard... I really would like to finish for the weekend on a high.

I was talking to DB about my work the other day and he described my chapter writing as 'trial and error'. That is so accurate! It is all trial and error -except as I go on I think each new corner is the 'right one' and then realise it isn't and have to look at it again. These chapters are about condensing and manipulating so much different literature, and then having to spew it out so someone else who knows nothing about it can read it, understand it and then think about it. This is not an easy task! How best to convery your ideas? What is the layout going to be so you don't lose the reader? How best to keep it interesting? Where to say any particular point - at the beginning? Or after the examples? Sometimes it is easy to lose track of even what your main point is, in amongst all the other smaller points. And then you have to round it up. To know all your literature, to be able to hold it in your head and manipulate it, re-form it and then convey it in a new form with your own spin and arguments. Arg. No wonder there is no such thing as just 'writing' a chapter. We all seem to think there is though!

Who knows. Slowly but surely it unravels though. And getting it done... wow.

I went for my run as well. this even' It was quite hard today for some reason but I am speeding up.

Oh also I had some excellent news today! My lovely jubbly friend is turning 30 in Jan, when I am TN, and she is going to come to the same country for a birthday holiday! hurray! so hopefully my vol. org will let us skip off for a wee break in the sun and the sand. That will be so much fun! and it will be about half way through the work as well so would be a welcome break and a friendly face after spending chrimbly away from our nearest and dearest... May give DB and I a break from each other too! hehe.

I am making carrot and lentil soup for my tea, with a nice cheese and salad baguette. No work for me tonight. Although I keep turning over my chapter in my mind. I have a couple of things that I would like to clear up before I chill out - I think I will do them now. How novel! I think that I want to do it now is a very positive sign that my enthusiasm toward this chapter is on the up.

I henstly think I could describe my relationship with each chapter as like that of a friend or child. It is it's own thing. Like yesterday I was pleased because it was starting to get a 'personality', I knew what it was independent of me. That sounds a bit weird but it's true. And as it gets more coherent I feel like it is being more friendly, rather than last week when it was being downright difficult. And this chapter is different to the last one. The last one was more intense and twisty-turny, while this one is more straightforward but may take longer because of the need to pay attention to (boring) details and citations... It does sound weird. But then I can't imagine it being any other way especially when you spend soooo many uninterrupted hours with it, nurturing it, teething it and then! It is all grown up and doesn't need you any more. And hopefully you are proud of it and think you did a good job...

...Am off to check my soup.

Mama hungwy!

x J