Workin'

Here I am! Working! Well I haven't started yet and I am in the bedroom with the tele on so it's not all bad.

I heard from my Sup today - he has been terribly ill and had a bug on his mem stick too! Rubbish! Now he is saying he will read that chap I gave him and I am like, nooo! chill out man! And anyway I will have the whole thing, undoubtedly re-jigged, completed for Weds. I just wanted to show him I was being productive really. Ach.

I watched Nicole get kicked out of BB last night and think Davina did quite a good interview actually, and I agree with big D that Nicole will learn quite a lot about herself from watching it. Which is a Good Thing. If I had a daughter as selfish and nasty as her I would be mortified... Then we watched 'Saw' in bed - and it was great! What a good film! I have scorned it twice before and not finished watching it but... wow. I was freaked out properly.

I have been thinking very hard and I have decided that I am going to try and buy a house when I get back from TN... I may be able to get a loan for some of the deposit of an average two bed... and I think I will ask my Ma for some money too. I will say it is a loan, and when we sell the house after uni then she can have some profit back from it... Asking one's paretns for nmoney at my age is so tacky and unpleasant. Burt I don't think I have much choice and it's worth an ask. I really really want a house - I just hate renting and really need to feel I 'belong' somewhere. I don't want to move or to travel or anything at the mo. I am tired out of it. If we get a house that needs some love... that has, like, blue carpets and a naff marble fireplace and dado rails hither and thither and a tatty garden and knackered kitchen - you know, needs TLC and painting... and then sell it on and we can get some money. I am *sick* of renting and seeing my deposit money everywhere, worrying about being diddled when we leave, worrying about when they are going to fix this or that, being irritated when handles fall off the kitchen doors because they are so old and worn, fed up of other people's tiny fridge/freezer combos that overfreeze, tired of dirty ovens... I want my own housey! I would be in heaven if I had my own house. I would belong somewhere! I would be able to paint it and put plants outside and have shelves! shelves! For my books! And DB can have his american style fridge freezer (not for me, and it has to fit into my rustic style kitchen... !). And I can get a doggy for it. and get rid of my charity shop tat (not all of it is tat but there is a lot) and buy nice framed pics to put on MY wall... Ahhhh. I think I could use my womb to get us some leverage. I would far more likely to start a family in my own place. Renting I would feel very unmoored. I think both potential grannies would buy us a house each if it meant we filled in the grandchildren gap!!! heheheheee!

So I have been daydreaming about that! I have always thought that there will come a time when I *can* get on the property ladder and see other people my age have homes and don't think anything of it. And now I think, well, apart from the fact I am a student with no money and a lot of debt I could have that! I just need some help from my ma. Too many people do these days it's so silly. I wouldn't be able to afford my own, with them saying her! take my money! Until I am late thirties which is too long. I always assumed that I would want to keep on travelling and moving too so didn't see it as being practical, owning ahome in one place, but I am not like that now. After TN I think I will be truly travelled-out for a while. I would like to go away for three weeks here and there and go somewhere exotic, but currently don't want to do any massive monthly trips, or move around the UK as much as we have been chasing my education!

It's a lovely day outside. I will go and read the paper outside in a bit. I really want to sort out this particular section of my work then, hopefully, instead of being a third of the way through I would have lnked it together and be two thirds of the way through. I have thousands of words of text, I just need to link it in. Hurray!

Am going to the gym later. I will cross train and cycle and then tomorrow I will go for a 6 mile run...

Ah bank holiday.

speak soon!
x J