Today, dear reader, i got a bit lost.
I have done some work, but only a teeny bit, though as usual am pretty chuffed I even did that. I didn't even feel panicky doing it, just a bit bored :) Realised one bit in the chapter of awfulness that my Sup seems to really like, it has a big tick and says 'wow!' in the margin, which before I took as sarcasm but now, with noticing the tick, think he might have meant kindly. Just goes to show my state of mind eh?! Still skeptical though, think it might have been sarky.
Today I have mostly read the paper and internet and felt a bit crap. I am off to the drs tomorrow and have decided it is all in vain and am just a twatty skiving bastard of loserness. Am sure the dr will confirm this and I will feel even worse. Am really worried that I won't finish this. How will I do it? I can't do it. It is Too Hard.
I did actually email the Uni secretary research lady person and ask if my submission deadline is my actual, total deadline of all time or if I can have another writing up year. Would save a lot of time with the drs if i can just sign up for another year (but hand in before sept as i am off on holiday in sept and want to have this DONE). And I think Uni still think my hand in date is tomorrow as my library books won't renew and, well, that is what it says on the system. This is worrying. Who knows what the fuck i am doing? Who cares?! Do I even exist?!
So. I will be back tomorrow, and continue to be distracted and generally shit.
Till then, then.
x J
I have done some work, but only a teeny bit, though as usual am pretty chuffed I even did that. I didn't even feel panicky doing it, just a bit bored :) Realised one bit in the chapter of awfulness that my Sup seems to really like, it has a big tick and says 'wow!' in the margin, which before I took as sarcasm but now, with noticing the tick, think he might have meant kindly. Just goes to show my state of mind eh?! Still skeptical though, think it might have been sarky.
Today I have mostly read the paper and internet and felt a bit crap. I am off to the drs tomorrow and have decided it is all in vain and am just a twatty skiving bastard of loserness. Am sure the dr will confirm this and I will feel even worse. Am really worried that I won't finish this. How will I do it? I can't do it. It is Too Hard.
I did actually email the Uni secretary research lady person and ask if my submission deadline is my actual, total deadline of all time or if I can have another writing up year. Would save a lot of time with the drs if i can just sign up for another year (but hand in before sept as i am off on holiday in sept and want to have this DONE). And I think Uni still think my hand in date is tomorrow as my library books won't renew and, well, that is what it says on the system. This is worrying. Who knows what the fuck i am doing? Who cares?! Do I even exist?!
So. I will be back tomorrow, and continue to be distracted and generally shit.
Till then, then.
x J
2 comments:
Yes, you do exist! I have had a crap phd and a crap work day too and feel generally bleughhhh. As lousy as this feeling is, it's going to be me or this phd (or maybe my marriage, sanity, fragile financial wellbeing and this phd). I have extended my submission date until November but the writing up and continuation fee is something I hadn't counted on having to shell out and caused a very sharp intake of breath. I think you are great and a 'WOW' is brilliant! (My comments tend to be more 'ow' than 'wow'). Have a lovely evening!
Are you available for regular cheerleading sessions?! Thanks :) Well done for extending your submission date, am incredibly envious! Hope today is a better one :)
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