Thursday, 31 May 2012

Nothing Doing

I have done nothing today. 

Well, I have done housework and pondered about whether to cancel my drs appt this aft or not, decided yes, rang surgery and they say they are closed for the afternoon, I walk there to check and turns out they are closed until my appt time.  So I can't cancel and anyway was a bit wibbly wobbly anxious when out (though am fine and dandy at home) so should go along anyway.  I don't expect to get much from it other than advices to run and see my friends more and come back next week if I still feel the same.  I would like to be signed off a bit longer, though am off till weds anyway (though have come back this week as i have to) so doubt that would happen either.

I don't even know what to say and think I will just blather on incoherently about uni deadlines and anxiety and they will say 'erm, you are doing a PhD, what did you expect?  Everyone else manages?' and i shall cry and shuffle away in total agreement.

The thing is, I haven't been able to work because i spend my whole fricking day thinking about how not to feel anxious and depressed and how to feel better.  All.  Bloody.  Day.  If I wasn't thinking about that, to just feel normal and keep an even keel, then I would be working.

bah. 

My kitten purred today :)  She is so feral and timid and I was thinking yesterday that she might never really take to us but she purred, really loudly, and then settled herself in MY SPOT on the settee.  I have been usurped :)

Is pizza and apprentice night tonight, DB and I are being slobs.

x J

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