Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Feeling Better

I had my hospital appt, took all morning, and was sent away with a clean bill of health.  I can't explain how relieved and jubilant I am, I really didn't realise how much the appt was hanging over my head.  I guess i just felt so shit anyway that it merged in with all that.

Anyway, am fine.  Now all I have to do is look after myself generally and focus on work again.  I am not going to work today, although I should, but I feel so pleased about being well for the first time in aaaages and, well, I feel almost positive :)  This is amazing and I want to savour it and use it to get strong and happy again.  Tomorrow I shall work.

I have organised to see my PhD friend on Monday and will probably go and see my best mates, their teeny weans and go to a naff-fabulous eurovision party on the 26th in London.  I was thinking I will hibernate and work, work, work for the next two months but last night I felt so bleak, and hated that work was all I had in my life at the mo.  Going away would give me something to focus on and be motivated for so I think it is a good, necessary idea (I haven't seen them during this whole sorry episode and need my mates!) I feel much better for being sociable and well.

I just hope i feel like this tomorrow too.  Every day is different at the mo, but it is definitely a step in the right direction.

 x J

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