So today marks the end of my first week of work in India, and my first week of proper work since... hmmm... Dec 07. Hehe. Today thought I needed only go in for an hour and a half... though I wrote a story about lions! I was sent home in case the rain blocked us in... I was also told not to worry about coming in while the rains are as they are - hurray! There was no point today really either as the internet was down (because of the rain - the power was out in a lot of places too) so couldn't look up any of my animal fact to write about them.
I have thought more, and realised that with the rains, any kind of travel or move would be most unpleasant and also, pretty dangerous. I ahve also realsied that getting accommodation anywhere else in December is going to be pointless - it is high season in Indian terms, as families move around to be close to each other and there are lots of festivals. So I shall have to stay put anyway, regardles of my intentions to go down the coast and do interviews etc. Further down the coast has actually been evacuated so that would be no god at all! I would be the only person there! Silly colonial. This realisation has made me much more relaxed and stopped all worrying thoughts about going elsewhere immediately. I shall stay where we are for December, then when I get back from Goa on the 12th I shall think about shipping south for a bit.
In the meantime, I have some train tickets to try and buy tomorrow... The rains are so annoying because they make staying in really quite imperitive. No sightseeing can be done really. I suppose I should read some reports!! I have a *lot* of reports to get though. Hmmm....
x J
Friday 28 November 2008
Thursday 27 November 2008
Woiking
Hallooo
I am at work, and at waiting for my umbrella to come back... The rainy season is well and truly upon us which means flooded roads, soaking feet, soaking clothes, smelly drains and grey, grey skies. But it's cool. It's nuts the way it just rains alllll the time. Allllllllll the time. Proper rain. English rain seems so pithy and cold in comparison to this hot, thick, drenching rain. And it's so dark! It is actually pretty depressing and I love the rain normally. It is very hard to get around because you get soaked. I arrived at work this morning with my trousers drenched (I had to wring out the bottoms!) up to my thighs and my shoulders soaked. I am just dry (5 hours later) and have to go out again! Actually, I would have left but someone ran off with my umbrella.
Work is cool! I am enjoying writing the kiddies materials but it is funny how exhausting it is! I have written two 700 wd stories today and just can't muster up any imagination for another. But today I talked a bit more to my neighbour, and have the internet on my laptop so also managed to be on facebook and look up flights from Goa. Hurrah! that's my kind of working.
I didn't come in yesterday. Yesterday was my (our - DB was v poorly) grumpiest day here and the first where I actually wished to be at home. We had moved accommodation to this place called Broadlands in Chennai, which is a sprawling old colonial-style mansion place just up the road from where we were staying. It was more traveller-y so we hoped to meet people, and the rooms were amazing - really high ceilings, open bathrooms with floor to ceiling windows, many windows in the bedroom and a little table and two chairs to sit at. It seemed perfect compared to our relatively dark and damp little room over the way. So we moved in lock, stock etc on Tues morn before work, all excited because they had said that we could have the room until after Jan. Which was a lie, and then they said we would have to move rooms (someone else had booked 'ours') and then that room was booked too! And that night we had had the most awful storm, which should have been very romantic in that old lodge with the giant windows and views of field, but instead we were bitten to death and didn't sleep until the sun rose!! To *death* - I have bites on my eyebrow, under my eye and on my lip - just to name my face. So, irritated and tired we moved back to our old place yesterday but have a better room! It has no gaping hole where the air con is meant to be and so is much, much quieter (a massive bugbear was waking at 6am to trance bollywood music played through a megaphone. I am NOT exaggerating!!). SO we are happier today. DB was terribly poorly yesterday when we moved too, so at least we had concrete walls around us and a nice bathroom and a nice bed and no bugs!! Hurray! And a tele back (sporadic reception) and a nice man who gets us cups of kaapi. So we will stay there until after new year - everywhere else we have tried is booked, and anyway, having had the broadlands horror we are so, so grateful, however dark it may be.
I heard from my sup today! I emailed him yesterday (feeling very despondant and rubbish at my researching skills) about my progress (lack of) this past month and he sent me such a lovely reply and am completely reassured. I didn't whine at him or seek reassurance (never do that) but just confessed about the kiddie book thing etc and my plans and what I have been up to and he said that research in actuality never turns out as imagined anyway and just gave me some tips. I was wondering what to do with the info that I get from general convos, with waiters etc - talk a lot to waiters actually - and he said they can count as a form of interview in the biblio and I can use it as anecdotal evidence. Which is ace because I get a lot of info this way, about corruption and how people feel about the aid etc - without it being a formal interview with the call for the 'confidentiality' speech etc. This kind of info also provides a lot of context to the research and would explian my thoughts and motives as I learn more (I hope I learn more).
My word the rain is coming down. It really isn't going to stop. Am going to see if my umbrella is back yet. I need a full body coat really and not these oversized, super-long trousers. It is rubbish as well, because I am going to have to go and have a fight with a rickshaw driver. Bargaining is just not my scene - why can't the just be fair in the first place?! They see my white little face and my wet feet and think KER-CHING!! So I have to prove my mettle and get it so I only pay double the fair amount (which is the normal amount). Peace studies be damned.
Friday tomorrow! WOOT! Hopefully I can blog a lot more now I have work internet.
x J
I am at work, and at waiting for my umbrella to come back... The rainy season is well and truly upon us which means flooded roads, soaking feet, soaking clothes, smelly drains and grey, grey skies. But it's cool. It's nuts the way it just rains alllll the time. Allllllllll the time. Proper rain. English rain seems so pithy and cold in comparison to this hot, thick, drenching rain. And it's so dark! It is actually pretty depressing and I love the rain normally. It is very hard to get around because you get soaked. I arrived at work this morning with my trousers drenched (I had to wring out the bottoms!) up to my thighs and my shoulders soaked. I am just dry (5 hours later) and have to go out again! Actually, I would have left but someone ran off with my umbrella.
Work is cool! I am enjoying writing the kiddies materials but it is funny how exhausting it is! I have written two 700 wd stories today and just can't muster up any imagination for another. But today I talked a bit more to my neighbour, and have the internet on my laptop so also managed to be on facebook and look up flights from Goa. Hurrah! that's my kind of working.
I didn't come in yesterday. Yesterday was my (our - DB was v poorly) grumpiest day here and the first where I actually wished to be at home. We had moved accommodation to this place called Broadlands in Chennai, which is a sprawling old colonial-style mansion place just up the road from where we were staying. It was more traveller-y so we hoped to meet people, and the rooms were amazing - really high ceilings, open bathrooms with floor to ceiling windows, many windows in the bedroom and a little table and two chairs to sit at. It seemed perfect compared to our relatively dark and damp little room over the way. So we moved in lock, stock etc on Tues morn before work, all excited because they had said that we could have the room until after Jan. Which was a lie, and then they said we would have to move rooms (someone else had booked 'ours') and then that room was booked too! And that night we had had the most awful storm, which should have been very romantic in that old lodge with the giant windows and views of field, but instead we were bitten to death and didn't sleep until the sun rose!! To *death* - I have bites on my eyebrow, under my eye and on my lip - just to name my face. So, irritated and tired we moved back to our old place yesterday but have a better room! It has no gaping hole where the air con is meant to be and so is much, much quieter (a massive bugbear was waking at 6am to trance bollywood music played through a megaphone. I am NOT exaggerating!!). SO we are happier today. DB was terribly poorly yesterday when we moved too, so at least we had concrete walls around us and a nice bathroom and a nice bed and no bugs!! Hurray! And a tele back (sporadic reception) and a nice man who gets us cups of kaapi. So we will stay there until after new year - everywhere else we have tried is booked, and anyway, having had the broadlands horror we are so, so grateful, however dark it may be.
I heard from my sup today! I emailed him yesterday (feeling very despondant and rubbish at my researching skills) about my progress (lack of) this past month and he sent me such a lovely reply and am completely reassured. I didn't whine at him or seek reassurance (never do that) but just confessed about the kiddie book thing etc and my plans and what I have been up to and he said that research in actuality never turns out as imagined anyway and just gave me some tips. I was wondering what to do with the info that I get from general convos, with waiters etc - talk a lot to waiters actually - and he said they can count as a form of interview in the biblio and I can use it as anecdotal evidence. Which is ace because I get a lot of info this way, about corruption and how people feel about the aid etc - without it being a formal interview with the call for the 'confidentiality' speech etc. This kind of info also provides a lot of context to the research and would explian my thoughts and motives as I learn more (I hope I learn more).
My word the rain is coming down. It really isn't going to stop. Am going to see if my umbrella is back yet. I need a full body coat really and not these oversized, super-long trousers. It is rubbish as well, because I am going to have to go and have a fight with a rickshaw driver. Bargaining is just not my scene - why can't the just be fair in the first place?! They see my white little face and my wet feet and think KER-CHING!! So I have to prove my mettle and get it so I only pay double the fair amount (which is the normal amount). Peace studies be damned.
Friday tomorrow! WOOT! Hopefully I can blog a lot more now I have work internet.
x J
Monday 24 November 2008
Back in the Game
Hurray! I am being a proper adult! Well, I am not eating properly and still on a major sulk about eating more and more curry. But other than that...
Today I managed to go out and be happily self-sufficient. Being with DB does mean that he takes over rather, and me being all lazy I do let him... And also, the people here speak to the man and so I am genearally never expected to do or say anything, which means DB is even more asssertive than usual. As we are both fairly alpha beings this does grate and we do fight about it. But then I back down and watch tele. Anyway, point being, that today I went and sorted out my phone so I am now mobile-worthy! YAYA! Also, I managed to get to my volunteering appt today and have found out what I am to do! I am to illustrate kiddies books! ( a lot more fun nd creative than just writing 'leaf'.) And if I am good, I may get to help teach English to tiny tots using phonetics. I shall meet the lady they have doing that at the moment (an Ameican volunteer - woopy, I hope she is nice and can be my friend), tomorrow and see what that is about. I am so looking forward to writing out kiddies stories though! And picture books! how lovely! Although lord knows where I would start. Eck. I shall blag it. I can keep my own hours which is ace, I shall probably do ten/10.30 to four... As long as I don't have to get up early and commute then I shall be fine. The guy next to me keeps wobbling his leg, and we are sat on this flimsy mezzanine level (more like balcony) and so I am bouncing up and down like no-one's... And I spoke to the 'English team' about my research and they seemed very interested and nodded enthusiastically when I spoke about cycnicism about whether the aid worked and suchlike - so i think I am on to something here. My biggest fear was coming here and everyone saying that the aid they recieved and the way they were treated was just *the nuts* and so the past few years would be pretty much barking up the worng tree. Although, I suppose whatever happens I can turn it into research wobble wobble. Ya, so generally I feel a lot happier. And I got my first rickshaw on my won, got us lost and walked half the way back in the end. Great stuff. I wasn't ripped off though and also I spoke Tamil. Things are looking up! Now all I need is to find someone to give me a lovely meal.
We went flat hunting today to. We are in such a dilemma about what to do about accomm - do we get soemwhere of our own, or just stay in a guesthouse? Turns out that our vol org doesn't know of anywhere because they are all Indian... which is generally good for my research but not good for helpful tips about what volunteers do for accommodation in this land. We need to stay for about a year apparently to get a flat, but somewhere nice was found for us for three months (perfect area as well) BUT they want 1.5 grand deposit! WHAT?! And we don't have that. we coud probably find it - but then what if we don't get it back?!! They could say anyting and we wouldn't know or be able to even stay in the country to get it back. So, we think we will stay in a guesthouse. DB is looking now.
Other than that, I have been working out my general plan of action in TN... I always have to thinkover my plans. They change all the time, but really almost imperceptibly - it is only have a few weeks that the shift is noticable. Now I am not sure that an ethnographic style is going to work at all - the culture and language barrier is so great, and it would take longer than six months - longer than a year even to 'be remoetely accepted. There is just too muh of a divide between Indian and Westerner - not in a palpable way, just in a 'way'. So I cannot pretend and think that not pretending or holding out that it may happen is a good , honest way forward - and so now me-being-me will be an important part of the wirte-up, without assumptions that I can immerse. I don't think anyone can really - unless you spend a couple of years living in a tiny community that has no choice but to assimilate you, and you to it. But that would;t work for me becuase I need a lot of info from a lot of people... One village just won't cut it. So I think I will be inceeasingly observation and interview based... Also, there is the issue of interviews that i have to do in england with aid agencies - they need to have their say. This porbably constitutes part of the research process and so maybe my time here isn't the focal point of the 'data gatehring' process, but just one aspect of it - in which case until April should suffice. If i get all my interviews and my observations and impressions - why stay longer? So these things are all things that I ponder. I really do feel like I am the navigator of this process, but the geography, the terrain and the vehicle are all mostly independent of me, I just try and steer it a bit.
DB has come to get me! must go ta ta!
x J
Friday 21 November 2008
Maladie
Hallo
Well, this week has beena bit of a weird one. I have been ill since monday eve, hardly eaten a thing and been spending whole days in the hotel at a time... Not done any volunteering but have managed to do some thinking!!! yaya for thinking. DB went to volunteering though and told me some things which have changed the research somewhat for the mo...
Basically the agency that i am volunteering for, now I am here, is very different to the one I thought I had signed up to volunteer with. This may sound strange because it is. I have no idea how this happened! I wonder if at home in england I have been accessing an old website from before they got all successful and mahousive - and now I am here I see a different website that explains very clearly what their org is all about and I tell you, if I had known, I would not have offered my (limited) services!! It is a purely educational agency and I have no knowledge of education materials or teaching skills which is what they do, and my research is a million miles away from this too. Sooooo. I will stay until I go to Goa in Jan and then if I like it etc go back, and if it isn't really happening then I shall make my excuses and leave having put in a month's worth of work. I came out wanting to volunteer for a small 'hands-on' org, by the coast, with a handful of staff and volunteers so I could talk to people easily, get to part of a wee aid family here and also have easy access to the people and communities who they work for and with. Instead I am part of a VERY busy aid-machine, with very paid employees, with very international meetings to go to, and a national agenda of change... which is great, but I am not that enthusiastic about being sin a back office somewhere labelling pictures!!!
HOWEVER,
Instead of crying about it I am working out how to work it to my advantage. I can use them to:
network with other large orgs here
use their brains about the aid industry in india
ask about their priorities (morally and philosophically)
See any aid villages they have worked with (hopefully, they did say something about that on email months back...)
ask about the makeshift huts I have seen up the road
find out about the aid-effort in Chennai
and use the time I am spending with them to also liaise and interview, even volunteer, with other peeps that I have just spend two hours rustling up on the tinternet.
Twill be fine I am sure. I am not going to worry about it for about a month or so and then shall see what the last few weeks have brought up (anything).
One thing I am learning is that when you are in the 'field' (UG! need a new word! anyone?!!) some days you find out loads and others you find out nothing. 'Tis the nature of the beast. And also, something that may been unexpected and therefore a challenge makes you look around it and question it - ' why is it 'wrong' - could it be useful?' and this too adds a rigorousness to what you 'know' and use in your research, and what you leave out/don't follow up. It also allows the research to progress a little on its own without having to be activley working on it all the time because these little challenges can be blessings in disguise.
Arg though, being ill this week has made me feel really lame. I sit there in bed thinking of all my friends and their intrepid, intellectual brilliance and think 'they wouldn't sit in bed for days, no sir! They would do the job they came to do!!' Then I think I am lazy and before you know it I am convinced I am a big, embarrassing research jokette. Pity poor me.
Then I go to sleep.
Oh oh OH though! I haven't said but I did some more research on my theoretical ideas and from my post the other day the answer was that indeed I was being ignorant and hadn't read enough - I put in very unlikely words into google and WHOOP! There it was! A lovely lovely article saying how my ideas were spankingly fine-a-doodle-do. So , finally, finally, my theoretical direction is all set, i love it, and I am sure that the rest will fall into place soon enough! SUCH an enormous weight off my mind, you just don't know what you are looking at when you don't have your theory pinned down. 'Can I write as a po-mo?! Or should I write as a realist? How would this affect how I go about and write-up and analyse my interviews? How does this affect my interpretations/transcripts of my observations?' bla bla blaaaaa.
But I know now. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!
Now I just need to work out what my research structure will be like here. I think I sall have to wait until I have settled in for a month, do a lot of reading and asking around my vol place, and then reassess and start doing interviews.
I am tired!! we are flat hunting later... I would love my own place! I am sick of eating out - I am craving just a meal of bread, cheese (any cheese, plastic cheese will do) and some coco pops (I don't eat these sugar pops normally but they seem so normal and plain here!!). Or some lentils I have cooked myself in my own way. I just cannot face curry!! I cannot! What I shall do instead is beyond me - but then so is hunger so... I am getting a bit skinny malinny though and ought to start eating soon. My mind is not on my side though. If it sees dirt in a restaurant it goes 'Uch! I shall not eat!' And makes my tummy churn. If I smell curry it does the same. And so all is not good!!! I just feel sick!
Bah.
My word, I ought to get some chrimbo pressies! Oh dear lord WHAT shall I buy?! To the John Lewis website pronto...
x J
Well, this week has beena bit of a weird one. I have been ill since monday eve, hardly eaten a thing and been spending whole days in the hotel at a time... Not done any volunteering but have managed to do some thinking!!! yaya for thinking. DB went to volunteering though and told me some things which have changed the research somewhat for the mo...
Basically the agency that i am volunteering for, now I am here, is very different to the one I thought I had signed up to volunteer with. This may sound strange because it is. I have no idea how this happened! I wonder if at home in england I have been accessing an old website from before they got all successful and mahousive - and now I am here I see a different website that explains very clearly what their org is all about and I tell you, if I had known, I would not have offered my (limited) services!! It is a purely educational agency and I have no knowledge of education materials or teaching skills which is what they do, and my research is a million miles away from this too. Sooooo. I will stay until I go to Goa in Jan and then if I like it etc go back, and if it isn't really happening then I shall make my excuses and leave having put in a month's worth of work. I came out wanting to volunteer for a small 'hands-on' org, by the coast, with a handful of staff and volunteers so I could talk to people easily, get to part of a wee aid family here and also have easy access to the people and communities who they work for and with. Instead I am part of a VERY busy aid-machine, with very paid employees, with very international meetings to go to, and a national agenda of change... which is great, but I am not that enthusiastic about being sin a back office somewhere labelling pictures!!!
HOWEVER,
Instead of crying about it I am working out how to work it to my advantage. I can use them to:
network with other large orgs here
use their brains about the aid industry in india
ask about their priorities (morally and philosophically)
See any aid villages they have worked with (hopefully, they did say something about that on email months back...)
ask about the makeshift huts I have seen up the road
find out about the aid-effort in Chennai
and use the time I am spending with them to also liaise and interview, even volunteer, with other peeps that I have just spend two hours rustling up on the tinternet.
Twill be fine I am sure. I am not going to worry about it for about a month or so and then shall see what the last few weeks have brought up (anything).
One thing I am learning is that when you are in the 'field' (UG! need a new word! anyone?!!) some days you find out loads and others you find out nothing. 'Tis the nature of the beast. And also, something that may been unexpected and therefore a challenge makes you look around it and question it - ' why is it 'wrong' - could it be useful?' and this too adds a rigorousness to what you 'know' and use in your research, and what you leave out/don't follow up. It also allows the research to progress a little on its own without having to be activley working on it all the time because these little challenges can be blessings in disguise.
Arg though, being ill this week has made me feel really lame. I sit there in bed thinking of all my friends and their intrepid, intellectual brilliance and think 'they wouldn't sit in bed for days, no sir! They would do the job they came to do!!' Then I think I am lazy and before you know it I am convinced I am a big, embarrassing research jokette. Pity poor me.
Then I go to sleep.
Oh oh OH though! I haven't said but I did some more research on my theoretical ideas and from my post the other day the answer was that indeed I was being ignorant and hadn't read enough - I put in very unlikely words into google and WHOOP! There it was! A lovely lovely article saying how my ideas were spankingly fine-a-doodle-do. So , finally, finally, my theoretical direction is all set, i love it, and I am sure that the rest will fall into place soon enough! SUCH an enormous weight off my mind, you just don't know what you are looking at when you don't have your theory pinned down. 'Can I write as a po-mo?! Or should I write as a realist? How would this affect how I go about and write-up and analyse my interviews? How does this affect my interpretations/transcripts of my observations?' bla bla blaaaaa.
But I know now. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!
Now I just need to work out what my research structure will be like here. I think I sall have to wait until I have settled in for a month, do a lot of reading and asking around my vol place, and then reassess and start doing interviews.
I am tired!! we are flat hunting later... I would love my own place! I am sick of eating out - I am craving just a meal of bread, cheese (any cheese, plastic cheese will do) and some coco pops (I don't eat these sugar pops normally but they seem so normal and plain here!!). Or some lentils I have cooked myself in my own way. I just cannot face curry!! I cannot! What I shall do instead is beyond me - but then so is hunger so... I am getting a bit skinny malinny though and ought to start eating soon. My mind is not on my side though. If it sees dirt in a restaurant it goes 'Uch! I shall not eat!' And makes my tummy churn. If I smell curry it does the same. And so all is not good!!! I just feel sick!
Bah.
My word, I ought to get some chrimbo pressies! Oh dear lord WHAT shall I buy?! To the John Lewis website pronto...
x J
Wednesday 19 November 2008
Poorly!
Grr I have been ill! Yesterday, the first day of proper volunteering, and I had to call in sick! How rubbish - especially with the palava of the day before!!! We have taken today off too and will go in tomorrow (lunchtime so I get a lie in thankfully! Sleep has not been my friend these past couple of days). Yesterday was just awful, we went to a posh restaurant for dins the night before and i am sure that was what made me ill because DB has been fine! Today I am ok but not eating and really weak and pathetic. Will go back to the hotel in a min for a rest methinks.
Am off curry for a while. My mind is totally averse to the curry. Crisps it is then! I remember in Guatemala when we were terribly ill I lived off crisps. Not the wisest, but better than beans or egg - or spicy curry!!!
Hopefully tomorrow I will do some work and have something to report. Bizarrely I had a lot of time to think (too ill to read or anything :0( ) and worked out that philisophically I shall have to take an eclectic approach. Not the easiest but one I have discussed with my Sup before and he wasn't totally averse to it (unlike my decision to be totally po-mo). I like a couple of theories and don't want to be boxed in by one or the other. I don't really see why they can't work together so that is what I shall do. I shall have to explain (and defend) it to the nth degree though, but there is no harm in that, and if I am passionate about it and believe in what I am arguing then the writing will come more naturally anyway. I have written out my points of view and generally think that either a) I have made something up which could be quite interesting; b) I have described a theoretical approach which already exists but, in my ignorance and lack of reading, I am unaware of it; or c) I am thick and making something up that is essentially contradictory and therefore impossible both in abstraction and practice. I am worried about making a fool of myself and so will go 'home' and ponder over it for a while...
Ug the boy next to me in the internet cafe stinks of B.O. The first smelly person I have encountered in India.
Au revoir!
x J
Am off curry for a while. My mind is totally averse to the curry. Crisps it is then! I remember in Guatemala when we were terribly ill I lived off crisps. Not the wisest, but better than beans or egg - or spicy curry!!!
Hopefully tomorrow I will do some work and have something to report. Bizarrely I had a lot of time to think (too ill to read or anything :0( ) and worked out that philisophically I shall have to take an eclectic approach. Not the easiest but one I have discussed with my Sup before and he wasn't totally averse to it (unlike my decision to be totally po-mo). I like a couple of theories and don't want to be boxed in by one or the other. I don't really see why they can't work together so that is what I shall do. I shall have to explain (and defend) it to the nth degree though, but there is no harm in that, and if I am passionate about it and believe in what I am arguing then the writing will come more naturally anyway. I have written out my points of view and generally think that either a) I have made something up which could be quite interesting; b) I have described a theoretical approach which already exists but, in my ignorance and lack of reading, I am unaware of it; or c) I am thick and making something up that is essentially contradictory and therefore impossible both in abstraction and practice. I am worried about making a fool of myself and so will go 'home' and ponder over it for a while...
Ug the boy next to me in the internet cafe stinks of B.O. The first smelly person I have encountered in India.
Au revoir!
x J
Monday 17 November 2008
Almost week four!
Halloooo
I can't believe I have been here for three weeks now! That is nearly a month! Time has flown by!! I am enjoying myself tremendously - until i think about work and get all hot and bothered that is...
I started volunteering today! Although I say 'started', really we got lost twice while trying to find it and ended up taking a rickshaw and realised we were well out of the way!!! Ug. I make it a thing to always make sure I find my way to interviews etc in good time and without asking the way because I have a thing about showing assertiveness and initiative - and being competent enough t0 make my own way. But no, we got lost a LOT and was all rather embarrassing. So we finally turn up and after a ten minute meeting get to go home again until 2pm tomorrow! Wooty! My kind of working... hehe. I am to help initially with teaching materials for a class that someone teaches english to. This worried me a bit really because stuck in a room writing 'leaf' under a picture of - a leaf - isn't going to help my research much. But then, I thought that this is just an initial job while they work me out, and also I am not really to question much until Dec 17th - my unofficial review day as I would have been there for a month by then. If all is not going to plan - I haven't been able to do any research of any kind, then I will see about cutting my hours and also volunteering for somewhere else - I have two other agencies here in mind who I will talk to anyway but not until after new year...
I then had a panic about what I would find out in Chennai anyway seeing as this area wasn't really affected by the tsunami. But then on reflection realised it was in fact affected and could just ask around about waht happned, who was affected, who helped (INGOs?) and in what way, and what the status quo is - has everyone been rehoused now? (I know there was an issue with fishing people being taken away from the site of their villages and placed on the edge of a vile shanty town 2km inland... for aaaaaages - are they still there I wonder? Or in spanking new houses or whattie? I shall investigate!) So that direction of nosiness could be an 'in'. ('In' to what?!! How can I have an 'in' to knowledges I can't yet predict or define?!! Strange...)
Am still having terrible dilemmas with my theoretical point of view. I am just happily eclectic. To the unhappiness of everyone else. And when I try and justify my eclecticism I do sound barmy because the theories do contradict each other. But but but. I wonder if I should leve it until I have finished... but then I think 'hmmm, but doesn't it affect how I am meant to do my interviews and things? If I am a positivist, for example. then I would set up my interviews to have minimum bias etc for optimum rsults. But I am not one of those! Interviews are interactive! therefore I am.....' at which point I dose off. I wish my Sup would tell me the answer. I am sure he knows it, but is waiting for me to figure it out. I can't! I need books! i need a LOT of textbooks. And I have none. :0(
I am also fretful about what kind of info I am meant to be seeking. Am I meant to couch all my info in some kind of ethnography?! To give it some kind of context? Because if so, I am very bored already. I love other cultures but relaying them in tedious, ritualistic, objective detail is just so awful. I don't care about matriarchy vs patriarchy/dowries/inheritance stuff. Whatever, whatever. I hope i don't have to. But I don't know. when do I know? I hope this thing unravels itself as expected and I am not on the plane home crying because I know nothing. Nothing!
Good news though, my friends are coming to Goa on the 5th Jan and I am heading down for partay partay! and I was thinking of taking a long leisurely journey back via bus and train through karnataka and the ghats (cool, green mountains and beauty and forest and loveliness) but that would mean a two week holiday... I would get back around the 17 Jan and only have three and a half months left! eek! I think I really need to go to Sri Lanka and extend my time here. truth be told, I have no inkling to want to go home. Here is too ace. Ah! we had the lovliest lunch today - we went to a real local-local place on our road and sat down and there was no menu so we said 'meals'? and he said 'yes, yes, meal!' and wandered off and came back with massive banana leaves that he plonked in front of us and showed us to spread water on it, then two waiters came along and put two different curry dishes on them, and lots of rice and there was our meal! It was unlimited as well; I was stuffed but think I am looking a little too lean because they insisted on giving me more food. And the main waiter was like a really fussy old grandad and made sure we knew what we were doing (we didn't) and told us things and generally made us feel right at home. It was so lovely to be looked after like that!! So many Indian people we don't know have looked after us, really gruffly but with sincere kindness that doesn't ask to be thanked. Ahhhh. Human kindness.
After our 'volunteering' DB and I walked for about an hour in the neighbourhood the agency is based at and generally are getting our bearings as we stay here. We just love it. I am working in the evenings, working out plans and writing out my thoughts in my (really bizarre - I bought it here, it seem to have a picture of 'heaven' which is a vietnamese fisherman on his wee canoe, heading toward to *giant* swans kissing each other in a sunset. very lurid and frightening) 'fieldwork' journal, and asking myself a lot of questions I don't know the answer to. With optimism I could say 'yet'. At the moment though, I am just pretty scared. oh well, if I wasn't scared of knowing nothinig i would have no impetus to go and find anything out eh?!
And with that nugget of wisdom I shall thee leave...
x J
I can't believe I have been here for three weeks now! That is nearly a month! Time has flown by!! I am enjoying myself tremendously - until i think about work and get all hot and bothered that is...
I started volunteering today! Although I say 'started', really we got lost twice while trying to find it and ended up taking a rickshaw and realised we were well out of the way!!! Ug. I make it a thing to always make sure I find my way to interviews etc in good time and without asking the way because I have a thing about showing assertiveness and initiative - and being competent enough t0 make my own way. But no, we got lost a LOT and was all rather embarrassing. So we finally turn up and after a ten minute meeting get to go home again until 2pm tomorrow! Wooty! My kind of working... hehe. I am to help initially with teaching materials for a class that someone teaches english to. This worried me a bit really because stuck in a room writing 'leaf' under a picture of - a leaf - isn't going to help my research much. But then, I thought that this is just an initial job while they work me out, and also I am not really to question much until Dec 17th - my unofficial review day as I would have been there for a month by then. If all is not going to plan - I haven't been able to do any research of any kind, then I will see about cutting my hours and also volunteering for somewhere else - I have two other agencies here in mind who I will talk to anyway but not until after new year...
I then had a panic about what I would find out in Chennai anyway seeing as this area wasn't really affected by the tsunami. But then on reflection realised it was in fact affected and could just ask around about waht happned, who was affected, who helped (INGOs?) and in what way, and what the status quo is - has everyone been rehoused now? (I know there was an issue with fishing people being taken away from the site of their villages and placed on the edge of a vile shanty town 2km inland... for aaaaaages - are they still there I wonder? Or in spanking new houses or whattie? I shall investigate!) So that direction of nosiness could be an 'in'. ('In' to what?!! How can I have an 'in' to knowledges I can't yet predict or define?!! Strange...)
Am still having terrible dilemmas with my theoretical point of view. I am just happily eclectic. To the unhappiness of everyone else. And when I try and justify my eclecticism I do sound barmy because the theories do contradict each other. But but but. I wonder if I should leve it until I have finished... but then I think 'hmmm, but doesn't it affect how I am meant to do my interviews and things? If I am a positivist, for example. then I would set up my interviews to have minimum bias etc for optimum rsults. But I am not one of those! Interviews are interactive! therefore I am.....' at which point I dose off. I wish my Sup would tell me the answer. I am sure he knows it, but is waiting for me to figure it out. I can't! I need books! i need a LOT of textbooks. And I have none. :0(
I am also fretful about what kind of info I am meant to be seeking. Am I meant to couch all my info in some kind of ethnography?! To give it some kind of context? Because if so, I am very bored already. I love other cultures but relaying them in tedious, ritualistic, objective detail is just so awful. I don't care about matriarchy vs patriarchy/dowries/inheritance stuff. Whatever, whatever. I hope i don't have to. But I don't know. when do I know? I hope this thing unravels itself as expected and I am not on the plane home crying because I know nothing. Nothing!
Good news though, my friends are coming to Goa on the 5th Jan and I am heading down for partay partay! and I was thinking of taking a long leisurely journey back via bus and train through karnataka and the ghats (cool, green mountains and beauty and forest and loveliness) but that would mean a two week holiday... I would get back around the 17 Jan and only have three and a half months left! eek! I think I really need to go to Sri Lanka and extend my time here. truth be told, I have no inkling to want to go home. Here is too ace. Ah! we had the lovliest lunch today - we went to a real local-local place on our road and sat down and there was no menu so we said 'meals'? and he said 'yes, yes, meal!' and wandered off and came back with massive banana leaves that he plonked in front of us and showed us to spread water on it, then two waiters came along and put two different curry dishes on them, and lots of rice and there was our meal! It was unlimited as well; I was stuffed but think I am looking a little too lean because they insisted on giving me more food. And the main waiter was like a really fussy old grandad and made sure we knew what we were doing (we didn't) and told us things and generally made us feel right at home. It was so lovely to be looked after like that!! So many Indian people we don't know have looked after us, really gruffly but with sincere kindness that doesn't ask to be thanked. Ahhhh. Human kindness.
After our 'volunteering' DB and I walked for about an hour in the neighbourhood the agency is based at and generally are getting our bearings as we stay here. We just love it. I am working in the evenings, working out plans and writing out my thoughts in my (really bizarre - I bought it here, it seem to have a picture of 'heaven' which is a vietnamese fisherman on his wee canoe, heading toward to *giant* swans kissing each other in a sunset. very lurid and frightening) 'fieldwork' journal, and asking myself a lot of questions I don't know the answer to. With optimism I could say 'yet'. At the moment though, I am just pretty scared. oh well, if I wasn't scared of knowing nothinig i would have no impetus to go and find anything out eh?!
And with that nugget of wisdom I shall thee leave...
x J
Saturday 15 November 2008
Saturday 15 Nov - Two and a Half weeks in...
hallooo!!
So we are two and half weeks in - I can't believe that is all we have been here for! we have done and seen and learnt so much! We are still in Pondy, enjoying the sites and gorging on 'finger fries' and 'secret tea' (beer in teapots so the police don't get wind of it?!) and, admittedly, cigarettes (I know), until we head back to Chennai tomorrow - the land of saintly goodness. In Chennai there is no beer really (is some kind of prohibition going on), no finger fries, and as a lady it is unbecoming for me to smoke - which I don't if I am not drinking secret tea anyway, so there. So back to the land of goodliness - and volunteering on Monday! Eek! they haven't told us when to turn up so I shall go along about mid morning and take it from there! I hope I don't get stuck doing admin. This is my biggest fear I think. Answering phones and being all customer service. NOOOOO! I hope I get to do hands-on stuff.
Am quite nervous about the volunteering really.
I am also having a total quandry about my theory. I just cannot work out where I stand. I seem to be in the middle of a few theories but not commiting to any in particular. So I have to do a lot of reading about that. And I would say folks- anyone wanting some sage advice plus a bit of philosophy thrown in I suggest reading 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence'. It is a novel but written by someone who is clearly a scholar and been through what we are all going through, he is very wise and talks about philosophy a lot (realism/rationalism/idealsim etc) and also has lovely nuggets of calming info such as his advice about 'stuckness' which concludes with him saying that stuckness is a good thing and things will always become unstuck and clear in your mind in the end. And he talks about how work creates a sense of peace of mind when you know it is right, because you care about it. Because you care, you are looking for it to be right, and you are looking for that feeling of 'peace'. I imagine that is how I would feel when I have completed my final draft of my PhD... Although maybe a bit mad at first, then a bit drunk, then very drunk, and then at peace (hungover/asleep).
Assuming I'm not up the stick of course. Then I would go out and eat a lot, which always creates a kind of peace when the sugar/carb-rush has subsided.
So yes, read the book - it's by... Arg, his name. I don't know, it's a weird one. Pop it into google anyway - I would suggest everyone read it if you are feeling a little disconnected from your work. Or just as a nice reference book to look at when you feel blue and he tells you 'well, learning is hard' and you think, 'yeah! it's hard!' and he advises you leave it for a bit so thoughts can work themselves out. I like that.
Well, better read sommat about Critical Theory. Please be the one, PLEASE.
x J
So we are two and half weeks in - I can't believe that is all we have been here for! we have done and seen and learnt so much! We are still in Pondy, enjoying the sites and gorging on 'finger fries' and 'secret tea' (beer in teapots so the police don't get wind of it?!) and, admittedly, cigarettes (I know), until we head back to Chennai tomorrow - the land of saintly goodness. In Chennai there is no beer really (is some kind of prohibition going on), no finger fries, and as a lady it is unbecoming for me to smoke - which I don't if I am not drinking secret tea anyway, so there. So back to the land of goodliness - and volunteering on Monday! Eek! they haven't told us when to turn up so I shall go along about mid morning and take it from there! I hope I don't get stuck doing admin. This is my biggest fear I think. Answering phones and being all customer service. NOOOOO! I hope I get to do hands-on stuff.
Am quite nervous about the volunteering really.
I am also having a total quandry about my theory. I just cannot work out where I stand. I seem to be in the middle of a few theories but not commiting to any in particular. So I have to do a lot of reading about that. And I would say folks- anyone wanting some sage advice plus a bit of philosophy thrown in I suggest reading 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence'. It is a novel but written by someone who is clearly a scholar and been through what we are all going through, he is very wise and talks about philosophy a lot (realism/rationalism/idealsim etc) and also has lovely nuggets of calming info such as his advice about 'stuckness' which concludes with him saying that stuckness is a good thing and things will always become unstuck and clear in your mind in the end. And he talks about how work creates a sense of peace of mind when you know it is right, because you care about it. Because you care, you are looking for it to be right, and you are looking for that feeling of 'peace'. I imagine that is how I would feel when I have completed my final draft of my PhD... Although maybe a bit mad at first, then a bit drunk, then very drunk, and then at peace (hungover/asleep).
Assuming I'm not up the stick of course. Then I would go out and eat a lot, which always creates a kind of peace when the sugar/carb-rush has subsided.
So yes, read the book - it's by... Arg, his name. I don't know, it's a weird one. Pop it into google anyway - I would suggest everyone read it if you are feeling a little disconnected from your work. Or just as a nice reference book to look at when you feel blue and he tells you 'well, learning is hard' and you think, 'yeah! it's hard!' and he advises you leave it for a bit so thoughts can work themselves out. I like that.
Well, better read sommat about Critical Theory. Please be the one, PLEASE.
x J
Thursday 13 November 2008
My First Interview!!!
Hello!! I have been away for so long! I hve been travelling around and working and being lazy and have had so few windows for the internet that I have had to forgo blogging to check in with friends, family and my banks (!!). Ug. But I am here now, tank da laird!!
Mamallapuram was really lovely and we had a great time there. we met some really cool people as you do when you are travelling around... DB was an extra in a film for a day which may have been when I last blogged... I honestly can't remember. Anyway, we stayed in Mamallapuram for him to do that for day (what an experience!! Bizarre!!) and then realised that we couldn't really leave for the weekend (buses too busy) so stayed on so I could meet this woman that a friend I had made told me about who runs a private NGO for widows of the Tsunami - she was volunteering for them. SO I tottled along on Monday (I was really nervous! I hate being shy!!) and met the lady and I thought she was going to show me around the project and people but instead she showed me into her office and sat down and I started a proper interview! Needless to say I had done no preparation except to try and remind myself about what on earth I am researching so as to keep questions relevant, but I had no outline of any questions/topics I wanted to cover or anything!! So we sat down and she was truly a dream of a first interviewee I think - she was eloquent, educated, spoke fluent English and was passionate about her views so eliciting information was no trouble at all... I settled down and all went rather well. I probably interviewed for about 45 Mins and could see that toward the end she was getting restless. I was really polite and took notes all the way through because I was actually unsure about getting out the dictaphone. To me at the time it felt like if I got the dictaphone out all of a sudden it would create a kind of formality and seriousness and maybe jeopardise the friendly, informal tone of the meeting... I wasn't sure. And also I wasn't sure if she would want to get up any time and show me round - I didn't know how long we may sit for. As this was my first interview - and a relatively impromptu one at that - I wasn't too worried and expected to make 'mistakes' to learn from in the future. As it was, I was ok really because I really like hearing people's opinions on my topic or on politics and suchlike so asking her questions to find out what she thought was really interesting and came quite naturally. Only at one stage I did panic to myself and think I had no more questions and had no idea where to lead her next!!! What shall I ask! I had only been there for about 15 mins and had no questions! Next time I will definitely sit down before the interview and at least jot down four key topics/areas of interest that would like to talk to them about. I will also try and get the dictaphone out, although I found it useful having notes to take rather than just staring at her as she spoke - that may seem weird. We shall see. Also I learnt that it would be useful to ask them to say a little about themselves and their background - ostensibly to give context to the interview and interviewee, but also so I know who the chuff they are, their surname, their place in the org and their personal backgrounds because you can't always know - espeically if it is an impromptu meeting!!! Otherwise, obviously, looking up such details prior to the interview would be for the best!!! If it is a big org that would quite easy and very important to show respect - not knowing who you are interviewing would be such a dreadful mistake. But with very small, independent orgs with no internet presence whatsoever or any papers etc, it may be hard to know much other than the are the Head, they must know something, I must speak with them!!
Also, I learnt that I have to remember to ask about confidentiality/anonymity!! D'oh! I remembered all the way through that at the end I must ask if she minds being quoted directly or if I should keep her and the org confidential etc but the end was rushed because a little kiddie needed her attention and so I said we shall call it a day as I saw she was busy and totally forgot! I shall see her again sometime so that is good, I shall ask her more questions I am sure and ask her then but in the meantime, should i not see her, will keep her confidential. But, it being my first interview I am quite forgiving and actually was very pleased with the amount that I found out and the ease of the interview. I did always think that the interviewing part was going to be the worst bit but maybe it will be good.
Also, I am in a quandry about interviewing technique. I have read and read about how to 'do' interviews etc but the actual process of interviewing is so ad-hoc - how do new interviewers know that they are asking the questions the 'right' way?! What if I come back and all my interviews are 'bad' ones - like leading the interviewee etc? And the info I have been given is nonsense?! I am worried about this. I think I did ask some questions that were quite leading, but then again I didn't ask them out of the blue - I had a firm idea of what they were saying, I just wanted to confirm it more succinctly so I would say something like 'Would it be fair to say that bla, bla, bla' to which she would think and then confirm or deny. Also, in the interview I didn't have much of an analytical head on so wasn't really analysing her opinions in the context of her background etc. But then this can be done later when I a) write up and reflecton the interview later and b) when I get home and start the analysis? I liked what she was saying a LOT and really her information was both revelatory, confirming of other reports I had read about the aid-effort, and also gave new leads of investigation. So that seems like quite a result to me.
Also - where do people learn to type up the transcripts? I tried typing it up afterwards but ended up doing my own type of transcript from my notes and memories. It wasn't a direct transcript but I hadn't taped it so it couldn't have been.
I am really dreading hearing myself on the tape, and really dreading hearing myself asking stupid questions. What if I listen to it back and realise I must have made such a fool of myself?!! Ug. I am used to reading back essays now, again and again, but that took years - I was cringing at reading my work back for years. So I expect I now have to get over 'hearing' my work back. !! how strange. Another PhD first. I suppose if I do become confident (hard to imagine now) that a) my voice isn't vile and b) that what comes out of my mouth isn't embarrassing cr*p, then that would be another milestone for my personal development and may make me better at talking in public and in groups and stuff.
Hmm, interesting thought.
Anyway, after the interview I spent the rest of the afternoon volunteering and then had some tea and a big chat with th friend who introduced me to the interviewee, which was lovely. I miss girl chats! Hanging around with DB is lovely but I like to have other friends (obviously). Speaking of which, DB and I are back to Chennai on Saturday and starting volunteering on Mon!! Eek! I have loved the volunteering I have done so far but am worried becasue this is for three months (well, I have said we will stay three months but if I hate it after 6 weeks, or it isn't proving useful for my work, I shall leave) and what if I hate it and it is like a job and I have to work alllll the time?! I think am worried I will be doing admin every day, getting up at 7.30am to commute and having no life outside of work and being tired from work! I am a full time student - a professional student - and dancing to someone else horrible tune is scaring me. However, I haven't heard about accomodation or about when to turn up or even where it is (I have an address but hours of pouring over the map hasn't helped - ah ha, I shall see if I can find the area online in a min!) so I hope that we will be forgiven for turning up at around 10.30am on Monday and that they are more chilled and busy than disorganised and stressy... Doing something would be nice though. I am just spun out by the whole 3 months thing - that is such a long time!! In the meantime though we have a trip to Goa pending for about 10 days... and Christamas and New Year... and for afterwards I am planning a very upmarket trip for my ma and her friends to Kerala at the end of Feb, they are coming out for my 30th beeday and to say hello, as we are away for such a long time! Am really planning on staying until the end of June now. Just need to work out how to get a new visa... India is fabulous, we are having such a fantastic time and really, I have no desire t go home at all. And having dipped my toe into my work I am pleased and relaxed in Pondicherry.
Anyway, I am off now having spraffed for about an hour!!
I will be back soon - probably next week with news about my volunteering post!! Fingers crossed I like it, and there are children in it somewhere - rather than computers! Ug, admin hell NOOOOOO!!!
x J
Mamallapuram was really lovely and we had a great time there. we met some really cool people as you do when you are travelling around... DB was an extra in a film for a day which may have been when I last blogged... I honestly can't remember. Anyway, we stayed in Mamallapuram for him to do that for day (what an experience!! Bizarre!!) and then realised that we couldn't really leave for the weekend (buses too busy) so stayed on so I could meet this woman that a friend I had made told me about who runs a private NGO for widows of the Tsunami - she was volunteering for them. SO I tottled along on Monday (I was really nervous! I hate being shy!!) and met the lady and I thought she was going to show me around the project and people but instead she showed me into her office and sat down and I started a proper interview! Needless to say I had done no preparation except to try and remind myself about what on earth I am researching so as to keep questions relevant, but I had no outline of any questions/topics I wanted to cover or anything!! So we sat down and she was truly a dream of a first interviewee I think - she was eloquent, educated, spoke fluent English and was passionate about her views so eliciting information was no trouble at all... I settled down and all went rather well. I probably interviewed for about 45 Mins and could see that toward the end she was getting restless. I was really polite and took notes all the way through because I was actually unsure about getting out the dictaphone. To me at the time it felt like if I got the dictaphone out all of a sudden it would create a kind of formality and seriousness and maybe jeopardise the friendly, informal tone of the meeting... I wasn't sure. And also I wasn't sure if she would want to get up any time and show me round - I didn't know how long we may sit for. As this was my first interview - and a relatively impromptu one at that - I wasn't too worried and expected to make 'mistakes' to learn from in the future. As it was, I was ok really because I really like hearing people's opinions on my topic or on politics and suchlike so asking her questions to find out what she thought was really interesting and came quite naturally. Only at one stage I did panic to myself and think I had no more questions and had no idea where to lead her next!!! What shall I ask! I had only been there for about 15 mins and had no questions! Next time I will definitely sit down before the interview and at least jot down four key topics/areas of interest that would like to talk to them about. I will also try and get the dictaphone out, although I found it useful having notes to take rather than just staring at her as she spoke - that may seem weird. We shall see. Also I learnt that it would be useful to ask them to say a little about themselves and their background - ostensibly to give context to the interview and interviewee, but also so I know who the chuff they are, their surname, their place in the org and their personal backgrounds because you can't always know - espeically if it is an impromptu meeting!!! Otherwise, obviously, looking up such details prior to the interview would be for the best!!! If it is a big org that would quite easy and very important to show respect - not knowing who you are interviewing would be such a dreadful mistake. But with very small, independent orgs with no internet presence whatsoever or any papers etc, it may be hard to know much other than the are the Head, they must know something, I must speak with them!!
Also, I learnt that I have to remember to ask about confidentiality/anonymity!! D'oh! I remembered all the way through that at the end I must ask if she minds being quoted directly or if I should keep her and the org confidential etc but the end was rushed because a little kiddie needed her attention and so I said we shall call it a day as I saw she was busy and totally forgot! I shall see her again sometime so that is good, I shall ask her more questions I am sure and ask her then but in the meantime, should i not see her, will keep her confidential. But, it being my first interview I am quite forgiving and actually was very pleased with the amount that I found out and the ease of the interview. I did always think that the interviewing part was going to be the worst bit but maybe it will be good.
Also, I am in a quandry about interviewing technique. I have read and read about how to 'do' interviews etc but the actual process of interviewing is so ad-hoc - how do new interviewers know that they are asking the questions the 'right' way?! What if I come back and all my interviews are 'bad' ones - like leading the interviewee etc? And the info I have been given is nonsense?! I am worried about this. I think I did ask some questions that were quite leading, but then again I didn't ask them out of the blue - I had a firm idea of what they were saying, I just wanted to confirm it more succinctly so I would say something like 'Would it be fair to say that bla, bla, bla' to which she would think and then confirm or deny. Also, in the interview I didn't have much of an analytical head on so wasn't really analysing her opinions in the context of her background etc. But then this can be done later when I a) write up and reflecton the interview later and b) when I get home and start the analysis? I liked what she was saying a LOT and really her information was both revelatory, confirming of other reports I had read about the aid-effort, and also gave new leads of investigation. So that seems like quite a result to me.
Also - where do people learn to type up the transcripts? I tried typing it up afterwards but ended up doing my own type of transcript from my notes and memories. It wasn't a direct transcript but I hadn't taped it so it couldn't have been.
I am really dreading hearing myself on the tape, and really dreading hearing myself asking stupid questions. What if I listen to it back and realise I must have made such a fool of myself?!! Ug. I am used to reading back essays now, again and again, but that took years - I was cringing at reading my work back for years. So I expect I now have to get over 'hearing' my work back. !! how strange. Another PhD first. I suppose if I do become confident (hard to imagine now) that a) my voice isn't vile and b) that what comes out of my mouth isn't embarrassing cr*p, then that would be another milestone for my personal development and may make me better at talking in public and in groups and stuff.
Hmm, interesting thought.
Anyway, after the interview I spent the rest of the afternoon volunteering and then had some tea and a big chat with th friend who introduced me to the interviewee, which was lovely. I miss girl chats! Hanging around with DB is lovely but I like to have other friends (obviously). Speaking of which, DB and I are back to Chennai on Saturday and starting volunteering on Mon!! Eek! I have loved the volunteering I have done so far but am worried becasue this is for three months (well, I have said we will stay three months but if I hate it after 6 weeks, or it isn't proving useful for my work, I shall leave) and what if I hate it and it is like a job and I have to work alllll the time?! I think am worried I will be doing admin every day, getting up at 7.30am to commute and having no life outside of work and being tired from work! I am a full time student - a professional student - and dancing to someone else horrible tune is scaring me. However, I haven't heard about accomodation or about when to turn up or even where it is (I have an address but hours of pouring over the map hasn't helped - ah ha, I shall see if I can find the area online in a min!) so I hope that we will be forgiven for turning up at around 10.30am on Monday and that they are more chilled and busy than disorganised and stressy... Doing something would be nice though. I am just spun out by the whole 3 months thing - that is such a long time!! In the meantime though we have a trip to Goa pending for about 10 days... and Christamas and New Year... and for afterwards I am planning a very upmarket trip for my ma and her friends to Kerala at the end of Feb, they are coming out for my 30th beeday and to say hello, as we are away for such a long time! Am really planning on staying until the end of June now. Just need to work out how to get a new visa... India is fabulous, we are having such a fantastic time and really, I have no desire t go home at all. And having dipped my toe into my work I am pleased and relaxed in Pondicherry.
Anyway, I am off now having spraffed for about an hour!!
I will be back soon - probably next week with news about my volunteering post!! Fingers crossed I like it, and there are children in it somewhere - rather than computers! Ug, admin hell NOOOOOO!!!
x J
Friday 7 November 2008
Mamallapuram... still
Helloooooooooo
Well, I haven't done much so this will be brief!! I have been a bit ill - Thanks for the advice on the pepsi Zalfa!! And for your comment in general - it was lovely.
So yesterday I lay around, literally allll day with no energy or mojo or anything and tried to comfort myself with an article about critical philosophy and world politics... by a guy who really knows language. So much so, it was impossible to read. Ah, stupid academics.
Today I have been much more spritely and this morning decided that if I wasn't up to going and door knocking for interviews then well, just don't! No one is going anywhere for now and so I can come back when i am actually ready to garble on about my research in a more concise way, having learnt a thing or two about it while volunteering in Chennai. All the travellers here think we are insane for possibly spending three months in Chennai. they only go there for offical reasons. here is so much more peaceful and quite an enclave where the rest of the world can be quite forgotton about - in comparison Chennai must seem quite terrifying. I, on the other hand, am quite looking forward to 'taming the beast' and already have fond memories and have gleaned enjoyment out of that manky city. And I really lilke being Tamil for a while - here I am a tourist and so eat with cutlery and buy more than expensive food - because it is expected of me. In chennai nothing is expected of us anything we do that is right seems like quite a victory in our world. Also, we are here for an experience that is more than simply touring around the country - we want to *live* here. Which means taking on a bit more than the coastal, tourist village...
I haven't been totally chilled out though, I have met a girl here who is volunteering and she gave me details about the org and if we are here on Monday I will seek it out - I really will. Apparently the lady who runs it is very chatty and will talk and talk and show me round and is super friendly so it would be a nice entry into the research. I have retreated slightly into my shell the past two days because I have been feeling ropey and also, I think, because i put a bit too much pressure on myself to 'get out there' and interview, 'now, now, now!' and felt that because I had been talkig about doing it, I had to do it or people (who?!) would frown at me and think of me as a failure (ah, I know who - me!!). So, Miss perfectionist pressure-lady I say NO! And stick to plan a) which was chill out for three weeks, get into the cultural groove and *then* start volunteering and getting the lie of the land. I am also already thinking of extending my stay somewhat, from coming back on the beginning of april to the end of June - there is no reason why not and if we go to Sri Lanka in feb I can apply for a new 6 months visa. If they say no, then I will come back in April as planned. 7/8 months would be spot on I think.
And, guess what we did today?! we found a POOOOOL! and I sunbathed and swam all day! fabulous. I did wear a full piece though, rather than my spangly bikini... Was nice to feel a bit more relaxed although, really, I am not relaxed at all. Am just an uptight get. Working holiday?! That is a paradox that will take some time to warm into methinks. When doing one you fervently feel you ought to be doing the other which creates an unhappy cognitive dissonance. And as we know, cognitive dissonance is a one way ticket to stressland. At least I can be stressed by a pool and coconut grove though...
Happy weekend!
x J
Well, I haven't done much so this will be brief!! I have been a bit ill - Thanks for the advice on the pepsi Zalfa!! And for your comment in general - it was lovely.
So yesterday I lay around, literally allll day with no energy or mojo or anything and tried to comfort myself with an article about critical philosophy and world politics... by a guy who really knows language. So much so, it was impossible to read. Ah, stupid academics.
Today I have been much more spritely and this morning decided that if I wasn't up to going and door knocking for interviews then well, just don't! No one is going anywhere for now and so I can come back when i am actually ready to garble on about my research in a more concise way, having learnt a thing or two about it while volunteering in Chennai. All the travellers here think we are insane for possibly spending three months in Chennai. they only go there for offical reasons. here is so much more peaceful and quite an enclave where the rest of the world can be quite forgotton about - in comparison Chennai must seem quite terrifying. I, on the other hand, am quite looking forward to 'taming the beast' and already have fond memories and have gleaned enjoyment out of that manky city. And I really lilke being Tamil for a while - here I am a tourist and so eat with cutlery and buy more than expensive food - because it is expected of me. In chennai nothing is expected of us anything we do that is right seems like quite a victory in our world. Also, we are here for an experience that is more than simply touring around the country - we want to *live* here. Which means taking on a bit more than the coastal, tourist village...
I haven't been totally chilled out though, I have met a girl here who is volunteering and she gave me details about the org and if we are here on Monday I will seek it out - I really will. Apparently the lady who runs it is very chatty and will talk and talk and show me round and is super friendly so it would be a nice entry into the research. I have retreated slightly into my shell the past two days because I have been feeling ropey and also, I think, because i put a bit too much pressure on myself to 'get out there' and interview, 'now, now, now!' and felt that because I had been talkig about doing it, I had to do it or people (who?!) would frown at me and think of me as a failure (ah, I know who - me!!). So, Miss perfectionist pressure-lady I say NO! And stick to plan a) which was chill out for three weeks, get into the cultural groove and *then* start volunteering and getting the lie of the land. I am also already thinking of extending my stay somewhat, from coming back on the beginning of april to the end of June - there is no reason why not and if we go to Sri Lanka in feb I can apply for a new 6 months visa. If they say no, then I will come back in April as planned. 7/8 months would be spot on I think.
And, guess what we did today?! we found a POOOOOL! and I sunbathed and swam all day! fabulous. I did wear a full piece though, rather than my spangly bikini... Was nice to feel a bit more relaxed although, really, I am not relaxed at all. Am just an uptight get. Working holiday?! That is a paradox that will take some time to warm into methinks. When doing one you fervently feel you ought to be doing the other which creates an unhappy cognitive dissonance. And as we know, cognitive dissonance is a one way ticket to stressland. At least I can be stressed by a pool and coconut grove though...
Happy weekend!
x J
Wednesday 5 November 2008
Mamallapuram
Vanakkam!!
I have been away and now I am back... I am now in mamallapuram, a coastal town that was badly affected by the tsunami but doesn't really show any sign - except I got a ganders at my first aid-boats. We got here yesterday and boy it is HOT!! I also have an alarming tummy ache today which is worrying me a little!! I will get some Coke - apparently it helps kill germs?! I have heard this from a doctor and from a traveller here so think there may been a ring of truth to it - but then again it does interfere with my ethics somewhat. Yes, I abstain from Coke because of human rights abuses. Liberal hippy I am, but evangelical protester-activist I am not, so never fear.
Anyway, this town has quite a few local aid agencies aroundabout so I shall go for a wander tomorrow I think and maybe introduce myself and have a chat with some people. I haven't heard back from the guy I emailed about maybe chatting with specifically, but will pop into the org anywho. I have yet t0 work out my patter and am starting get a wee bit nervous and shy!!! Silly me. I keep having to remind myself that I am supposed to be easing my way in for these few weeks and getting an idea of my general surroundings, rather than starting interviews straight away! I will need to come back to this area anyway for a longer period and may even volunteer here for a while. Which is a terrible hardship because there is a lot of seafood, and palm trees, and traveller haunts (toast and jam anyone?!), and the beach and the sun, sun, sun. Oh dear, pity poor me!! Well, I will put in my man-hours in Chennai so think I will deserve a break of scenery!!
Even if I don't get to interview anyone as such, I will pop in to a couple of the organisations. I just need to work out what to say and how... how on earth do you introduce yourself as a researcher without being all long-winded and confusing?!! I need to sort this out asap!! I keep being stricken with fear that I am naturally going to be rubbish at this lark and fail and come back home with nothing. Although chatting to my friend who went to Sri Lanka to do research for her MSc was reassuring. She said that while she was away she felt that she should always do more and find out more, but when she came home she realised two things: 1) that she didn't actually want to know any more info as she had a LOT (a common piece of advice I am finding); and 2) that whatever information she managed to get, she worked with and wove into and around her thesis. She said that there is no 'perfect' information that you come away with - it is always going to be a hotchpotch of information that you really wanted, didn't want, and missed altogether. But you work with what you have and somehow, it will be ok. I cling to this in my dark moments of paralysing fear, when I wonder what the heck I am playing at and how on *earth* will I come home with any useful and - horror - 'valid' - thoughts and, ug, 'data'... !!
HOWWWW! I don't actually even know how many interviews I should maybe look to do?! Or if i should use them at all?! grr, I am panicking now and seem to keep forgetting that i have only been here for a WEEK. It feels like we have been here for so long because we have learnt and done so much!!! I feel like I am ready to start working now, when really, I am not. I should at least wait until I have been volunteering for a month or so, then review the situation. Plan of action then:
* Don't do anything today except work out a friendly, general patter for tomorrow with the intention of maybe someone having half an hour for a chat about their org, what I could do for their org and what their org could tell me about their experiences of the Tsunami aid-effort.
* Pop into a place tomorrow, and maybe another if I am raring for it, or go into anther on Friday. ease yourself into it, don't do it all in a manic scared rush.
* Don't try and do work when you aren't ready for it - this is easing in period remember. the hard work starts in a month or so.
* Aim to know more about the lie of the land and who may be approachable interview-wise by the beginning of Jan. A month is a LONG time remember.
Beginning of Jan sounds scary though - too far away and too close to leaving in April. Eek!
I am being overly worried.
Maybe I should go and eat something. A lot of something, rounded off with some ice cream.
I haven't found a pool yet btw. There is a massive one with our hotel here - but it is CLOSED and has no water in it. then we found another but there were a LOT of pool cleaners and one man in it. It was so blue, and wet, and cool-looking and inviting. But despite the fact that lots of western traveller/tourists here are wearing vest tops and shorts, I am not, and am reluctant to get into a pool unless there is a sizable western-female contingent also frolicking, in clothes/bikini's/tankini's, i dunno, and till I find out I am NOT getting in. It would be like swimming in my underwear and if I want to work here it ain't good. DB and I are doing everso well here culturally. Being from Chennai dealing with people here is a doddle and any Tamil we speak is received really well and seems to give us some local respect and opens us up to be people, rather than tourists simply to tout to. yesterday we went to what I call 'Tamil beach', which is a beach next to 'traveller beach' but only populated with Tamils and the usual beach fanfair of horse rides and big family groups and chai and kites. We sat down and were left alone really, then a Chai man came over and after a cup we were all chatting away and he was teaching us more Tamil and it was really fun. We are to meet his wife today at her new food stall (!!). This morning we were lounging on traveller beach (in all my clothes, very hot indeed and the sea looks so inviting!!) and a hawker lady came up and we chatted in Tamil (I am saying chatted but really just saying 'no thanks') and she sat down and introduced herself and her selling was rather half-hearted really but we seemed to be friendly with each other. I really feel that the local people treat us better because we speak the smallest amount of tamil. So the stress and effort at home paid off!!
Anyway, I better go as I feel a bit sick - think I need some food and the Coke!!! Evil Coke, but ah! So niiiiiiice.
Bye chums! wish me luck for tomorrow... I wonder if anyone else gets nervous doing research or if I am just the biggest scaredy-cat loser in the world. Whatever, 'tis me!
x J
I have been away and now I am back... I am now in mamallapuram, a coastal town that was badly affected by the tsunami but doesn't really show any sign - except I got a ganders at my first aid-boats. We got here yesterday and boy it is HOT!! I also have an alarming tummy ache today which is worrying me a little!! I will get some Coke - apparently it helps kill germs?! I have heard this from a doctor and from a traveller here so think there may been a ring of truth to it - but then again it does interfere with my ethics somewhat. Yes, I abstain from Coke because of human rights abuses. Liberal hippy I am, but evangelical protester-activist I am not, so never fear.
Anyway, this town has quite a few local aid agencies aroundabout so I shall go for a wander tomorrow I think and maybe introduce myself and have a chat with some people. I haven't heard back from the guy I emailed about maybe chatting with specifically, but will pop into the org anywho. I have yet t0 work out my patter and am starting get a wee bit nervous and shy!!! Silly me. I keep having to remind myself that I am supposed to be easing my way in for these few weeks and getting an idea of my general surroundings, rather than starting interviews straight away! I will need to come back to this area anyway for a longer period and may even volunteer here for a while. Which is a terrible hardship because there is a lot of seafood, and palm trees, and traveller haunts (toast and jam anyone?!), and the beach and the sun, sun, sun. Oh dear, pity poor me!! Well, I will put in my man-hours in Chennai so think I will deserve a break of scenery!!
Even if I don't get to interview anyone as such, I will pop in to a couple of the organisations. I just need to work out what to say and how... how on earth do you introduce yourself as a researcher without being all long-winded and confusing?!! I need to sort this out asap!! I keep being stricken with fear that I am naturally going to be rubbish at this lark and fail and come back home with nothing. Although chatting to my friend who went to Sri Lanka to do research for her MSc was reassuring. She said that while she was away she felt that she should always do more and find out more, but when she came home she realised two things: 1) that she didn't actually want to know any more info as she had a LOT (a common piece of advice I am finding); and 2) that whatever information she managed to get, she worked with and wove into and around her thesis. She said that there is no 'perfect' information that you come away with - it is always going to be a hotchpotch of information that you really wanted, didn't want, and missed altogether. But you work with what you have and somehow, it will be ok. I cling to this in my dark moments of paralysing fear, when I wonder what the heck I am playing at and how on *earth* will I come home with any useful and - horror - 'valid' - thoughts and, ug, 'data'... !!
HOWWWW! I don't actually even know how many interviews I should maybe look to do?! Or if i should use them at all?! grr, I am panicking now and seem to keep forgetting that i have only been here for a WEEK. It feels like we have been here for so long because we have learnt and done so much!!! I feel like I am ready to start working now, when really, I am not. I should at least wait until I have been volunteering for a month or so, then review the situation. Plan of action then:
* Don't do anything today except work out a friendly, general patter for tomorrow with the intention of maybe someone having half an hour for a chat about their org, what I could do for their org and what their org could tell me about their experiences of the Tsunami aid-effort.
* Pop into a place tomorrow, and maybe another if I am raring for it, or go into anther on Friday. ease yourself into it, don't do it all in a manic scared rush.
* Don't try and do work when you aren't ready for it - this is easing in period remember. the hard work starts in a month or so.
* Aim to know more about the lie of the land and who may be approachable interview-wise by the beginning of Jan. A month is a LONG time remember.
Beginning of Jan sounds scary though - too far away and too close to leaving in April. Eek!
I am being overly worried.
Maybe I should go and eat something. A lot of something, rounded off with some ice cream.
I haven't found a pool yet btw. There is a massive one with our hotel here - but it is CLOSED and has no water in it. then we found another but there were a LOT of pool cleaners and one man in it. It was so blue, and wet, and cool-looking and inviting. But despite the fact that lots of western traveller/tourists here are wearing vest tops and shorts, I am not, and am reluctant to get into a pool unless there is a sizable western-female contingent also frolicking, in clothes/bikini's/tankini's, i dunno, and till I find out I am NOT getting in. It would be like swimming in my underwear and if I want to work here it ain't good. DB and I are doing everso well here culturally. Being from Chennai dealing with people here is a doddle and any Tamil we speak is received really well and seems to give us some local respect and opens us up to be people, rather than tourists simply to tout to. yesterday we went to what I call 'Tamil beach', which is a beach next to 'traveller beach' but only populated with Tamils and the usual beach fanfair of horse rides and big family groups and chai and kites. We sat down and were left alone really, then a Chai man came over and after a cup we were all chatting away and he was teaching us more Tamil and it was really fun. We are to meet his wife today at her new food stall (!!). This morning we were lounging on traveller beach (in all my clothes, very hot indeed and the sea looks so inviting!!) and a hawker lady came up and we chatted in Tamil (I am saying chatted but really just saying 'no thanks') and she sat down and introduced herself and her selling was rather half-hearted really but we seemed to be friendly with each other. I really feel that the local people treat us better because we speak the smallest amount of tamil. So the stress and effort at home paid off!!
Anyway, I better go as I feel a bit sick - think I need some food and the Coke!!! Evil Coke, but ah! So niiiiiiice.
Bye chums! wish me luck for tomorrow... I wonder if anyone else gets nervous doing research or if I am just the biggest scaredy-cat loser in the world. Whatever, 'tis me!
x J
Monday 3 November 2008
Hello!
Arg I have been maically busy today! well, this afternoon. This morning was actually very very slow inded.
Today was payday so I have been working out how to work my bank accounts from all this way away - which is fine. And then have been sorting out my emails and work and suchlike! Crazy. Better go now as have been here for hours and want a change of scenery and to warm up1
Yesterday we went to the fancy pool hotel and it was rubbish! It was like a tower block and in the middle of nowhere. However, it matters not for we are off a-wonderig tomorrow to a beach and white sand and lush gardens and temples and seafood and the sweet strains of santana. And maybe my first interview! I emailed the contact I have yesterday mid moring and haven't herd back yet but am not too worried. I will drop in whatever. How exciting! This avo we are off for a long walk along the ebach here to see the market and the local outdoor pool and watch the sunset. We didn't get to do that yesterday...
So I shall email you from travller-enclave next!
x J
Today was payday so I have been working out how to work my bank accounts from all this way away - which is fine. And then have been sorting out my emails and work and suchlike! Crazy. Better go now as have been here for hours and want a change of scenery and to warm up1
Yesterday we went to the fancy pool hotel and it was rubbish! It was like a tower block and in the middle of nowhere. However, it matters not for we are off a-wonderig tomorrow to a beach and white sand and lush gardens and temples and seafood and the sweet strains of santana. And maybe my first interview! I emailed the contact I have yesterday mid moring and haven't herd back yet but am not too worried. I will drop in whatever. How exciting! This avo we are off for a long walk along the ebach here to see the market and the local outdoor pool and watch the sunset. We didn't get to do that yesterday...
So I shall email you from travller-enclave next!
x J
Sunday 2 November 2008
Dazed and Confused in Chennai
Hellooooo!
I am, again, happy to be back. I have a strange couple of days. Last time I wrote I was on a brief visit from my room and then went for some dinner I think. Other than that, I didn't leave the room all day. The next day I was no better (manky lungs and cough you may remember) so stayed in the room alllllllll day, didn't come out once. Luckily this was fine for me because DB had been out the night previous and scouted out some drugs for me. I had some Halls sweets, some expectorant tablets (no instructions but apparently an overdose could cause liver failure. It was a case of fingers crossed and down the hatch) and a lovely bottle of something called 'Cofdex'. Now, I am not terribly au fait with American prescription drugs, I only hear about them in terms of 'addictions' of the Stars'. Well, I now know that they are a marvellous invention, and that they are readily available in India without even a prescription makes my stay here look very rosy indeed. I was swigging my Cofdex - only as much as it recommended on the bottle mind - and after the first day realised that perhaps my sleepy haze was a bit more than jetlag. In fact, on my second day of house arrest and yesterday morning I was quite stoned and blethery, or asleep. DB would leave me for hours at a time to go a-wondering while I lay there, zonked out to the world. Basically, I have worked out that two sips of the stuff (approximate teaspoon-fulls in a land that lacks cutlery) will happily knock me out for at least an hour, after about half an hour of taking it. In the UK we are not used to such reactions and it was, I have to admit, quite pleasing. Sadly, I have now run out of the bright green magic that is Cofdex, which DB is grateful for as a) he now has his girlfriend back, b) he is more than aware of my addictive personality and c) doesn't want his popularity to be supplanted by the bright green sleeping-poison of wondrousness.
So that has been me really. Yesterday we made it to a tour though! A half day tour of Chennai! It was pretty rubbish but brilliant to see the crocodiles that inhabit our part of the world (happily in a cage, unhappily in a bare cage), and get a sense of the city from above ground (autorickshaw) level. The tour finished at night time, on the Marina Beach which I thought was odd and had a chuckle with DB about how many tours in the UK would take their patrons to the beach for a visit at night. How useless! The whole idea of the beach is to sunbathe and the sun is pretty important when doing that. However, I was soon silenced by the magical wonder of marina beach at night! In the UK and in general in Europe I would say, beaches are nothing much at nighttime... You walk along them under moonlight, and eat next to/in front of them, but wow! In chennai it is amazing! So much so that DB concluded that actually it may even be a special nighttime beach, not a daytime beach like at home, because having seen it in the day it was pretty manky. At this nighttime beach there are children flying kites! Children playing catch! There are tiny little fairground rides that are totally mental, for children. There was a mini-ferris wheel that was so fast I wondered at the stomach of these childers, and little merri-go-rounds, and stalls selling day-glo ball-things, and food, - ah! we had the most delicious meal for about 15 pence. Samosa Chana - crushed samosa shells with a dall-like spicy sauce on it. Yum! It was a place of intense activity - as if at home with the sun out, but at nighttime. And there were people in the sea (lovely and warm - I had a paddle - *then* wondered what to do with my wet, sandy feet when I got back onto the very public bus) sat down having a jolly time, with all their clothes on. Really, it was a place of cultural opposites. And wonder. DB and I are going every night now.
Today we are going to do some more exploring and later we may head to the beach and read our books in the sunshee-ine for a while and chill out and watch the sunset and transformation to night-beach. My lungs are generally better now but I am still coughing a lot. Pain so it is. Actually, I have a confession to make. We are going to see if this fancy hotel will let us stay there for our meagre pennies. It has a pool! And Wi-Fi (so I can work easier see?! ;0) ) A pool... A sweet, cool, clean pool that I can sunbathe next too... Arggggggggggg dribble dribble. I know, I know, it's hardly getting to meet the people... But... but. There is always a but. We are currently staying in a pretty gritty part of town (and enjoying it I may add) and chattering (mostly misguidedly) in Tamil and are going south to do some research on Tuesday (my first interview beckons I think!) and this would be a wee reward! And then two weeks Monday we are volunteering and staying in their accommodation so... You know. It would like a wee holiday?! Just for a couple of nights?! Hehe. They won't let us in anyway. Not with my hippy skirt, hacking cough, and enormous backpack...
We found the public pool by the beach last night. Didn't actually see it though. I don't think swimming would be quite the same as at home though. By seeing how peeps drive here I doubt that lane discipline would be high on the list of priorities... and getting pretty nekkid to dive in would be rather taboo. So I, in my colonial imagination, am divining that a swim here would consist of having to wear all my clothes, and fight to get to the end of each lap as if in some kind of pointless, aggressive race. Hehe. I am ready! Let's do it!! I await for my prejudices to be challenged...
So, apart from reading a couple of uni articles and learning Tamil, these have been the thoughts that have occupied me for the past 48 hours.
I am a simpleton!
Better take my simple ariss off... Exploring needs to be done!
Toodle-pip
x J
I am, again, happy to be back. I have a strange couple of days. Last time I wrote I was on a brief visit from my room and then went for some dinner I think. Other than that, I didn't leave the room all day. The next day I was no better (manky lungs and cough you may remember) so stayed in the room alllllllll day, didn't come out once. Luckily this was fine for me because DB had been out the night previous and scouted out some drugs for me. I had some Halls sweets, some expectorant tablets (no instructions but apparently an overdose could cause liver failure. It was a case of fingers crossed and down the hatch) and a lovely bottle of something called 'Cofdex'. Now, I am not terribly au fait with American prescription drugs, I only hear about them in terms of 'addictions' of the Stars'. Well, I now know that they are a marvellous invention, and that they are readily available in India without even a prescription makes my stay here look very rosy indeed. I was swigging my Cofdex - only as much as it recommended on the bottle mind - and after the first day realised that perhaps my sleepy haze was a bit more than jetlag. In fact, on my second day of house arrest and yesterday morning I was quite stoned and blethery, or asleep. DB would leave me for hours at a time to go a-wondering while I lay there, zonked out to the world. Basically, I have worked out that two sips of the stuff (approximate teaspoon-fulls in a land that lacks cutlery) will happily knock me out for at least an hour, after about half an hour of taking it. In the UK we are not used to such reactions and it was, I have to admit, quite pleasing. Sadly, I have now run out of the bright green magic that is Cofdex, which DB is grateful for as a) he now has his girlfriend back, b) he is more than aware of my addictive personality and c) doesn't want his popularity to be supplanted by the bright green sleeping-poison of wondrousness.
So that has been me really. Yesterday we made it to a tour though! A half day tour of Chennai! It was pretty rubbish but brilliant to see the crocodiles that inhabit our part of the world (happily in a cage, unhappily in a bare cage), and get a sense of the city from above ground (autorickshaw) level. The tour finished at night time, on the Marina Beach which I thought was odd and had a chuckle with DB about how many tours in the UK would take their patrons to the beach for a visit at night. How useless! The whole idea of the beach is to sunbathe and the sun is pretty important when doing that. However, I was soon silenced by the magical wonder of marina beach at night! In the UK and in general in Europe I would say, beaches are nothing much at nighttime... You walk along them under moonlight, and eat next to/in front of them, but wow! In chennai it is amazing! So much so that DB concluded that actually it may even be a special nighttime beach, not a daytime beach like at home, because having seen it in the day it was pretty manky. At this nighttime beach there are children flying kites! Children playing catch! There are tiny little fairground rides that are totally mental, for children. There was a mini-ferris wheel that was so fast I wondered at the stomach of these childers, and little merri-go-rounds, and stalls selling day-glo ball-things, and food, - ah! we had the most delicious meal for about 15 pence. Samosa Chana - crushed samosa shells with a dall-like spicy sauce on it. Yum! It was a place of intense activity - as if at home with the sun out, but at nighttime. And there were people in the sea (lovely and warm - I had a paddle - *then* wondered what to do with my wet, sandy feet when I got back onto the very public bus) sat down having a jolly time, with all their clothes on. Really, it was a place of cultural opposites. And wonder. DB and I are going every night now.
Today we are going to do some more exploring and later we may head to the beach and read our books in the sunshee-ine for a while and chill out and watch the sunset and transformation to night-beach. My lungs are generally better now but I am still coughing a lot. Pain so it is. Actually, I have a confession to make. We are going to see if this fancy hotel will let us stay there for our meagre pennies. It has a pool! And Wi-Fi (so I can work easier see?! ;0) ) A pool... A sweet, cool, clean pool that I can sunbathe next too... Arggggggggggg dribble dribble. I know, I know, it's hardly getting to meet the people... But... but. There is always a but. We are currently staying in a pretty gritty part of town (and enjoying it I may add) and chattering (mostly misguidedly) in Tamil and are going south to do some research on Tuesday (my first interview beckons I think!) and this would be a wee reward! And then two weeks Monday we are volunteering and staying in their accommodation so... You know. It would like a wee holiday?! Just for a couple of nights?! Hehe. They won't let us in anyway. Not with my hippy skirt, hacking cough, and enormous backpack...
We found the public pool by the beach last night. Didn't actually see it though. I don't think swimming would be quite the same as at home though. By seeing how peeps drive here I doubt that lane discipline would be high on the list of priorities... and getting pretty nekkid to dive in would be rather taboo. So I, in my colonial imagination, am divining that a swim here would consist of having to wear all my clothes, and fight to get to the end of each lap as if in some kind of pointless, aggressive race. Hehe. I am ready! Let's do it!! I await for my prejudices to be challenged...
So, apart from reading a couple of uni articles and learning Tamil, these have been the thoughts that have occupied me for the past 48 hours.
I am a simpleton!
Better take my simple ariss off... Exploring needs to be done!
Toodle-pip
x J
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